I looked away from him. I didn’t want him to see how the little rejection had hurt me. My body felt remarkably whole, like it had the morning after Ramuell’s first attack. I suspected that if I looked at myself in the mirror, I would find all my cuts and bruises were gone. “Thank you,” I whispered, and my throat felt rusty and unused.
“You are welcome,” he said softly, and there was something in his voice that hadn’t been there before.
I whipped my head back to look at him, but whatever I thought I’d heard wasn’t there in his face. Stupid, stupid, Maddy, I thought. Did you think he was going to fall madly in love with you after one kiss?
No, my life was no fairy tale. I was not a princess woken from sleep by her true love. I was an Agent, the daughter of a fallen angel, and he was . . . whatever he was, but certainly not normal or human.
I shook my head, glanced at my watch and remembered that I still had a duty to perform.
“Well, this has been fun, kids,” I said. “But I’ve got a pickup to get to shortly.”
I wobbled to my feet and grabbed the counter as my vision spun in circles.
Gabriel put his hand on my shoulder. “You are in no condition to go anywhere.”
I shrugged off his hand. “I just need a minute.”
“You look like you need more than a minute,” Beezle said.
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I need a shower, and some food, and I’ll be fine.”
“I will go with you,” Gabriel said.
“I don’t think that will be necessary,” I said. I wasn’t sure that I wanted him around. I didn’t want to make a fool of myself in front of him. Still, he was the one who had kissed me in the first place, so maybe he wouldn’t object if I flirted a little in his direction.
And should you really be thinking about a supernatural romance right now? I chided myself. I had to keep my head in the game or Ramuell was going to eat me alive—literally.
“I must confer with Lord Azazel,” Gabriel said. “Then, whatever activities that you have planned for the evening, my lady, I will be at your side.”
“ ‘My lady’?” I said. “Since when am I your lady?”
“You are the daughter of my lord; therefore, you are my lady. Forgive me for not addressing you so sooner.”
“Are you crazy?” I asked, totally unnerved by his sudden formality. I was no one’s boss. I could barely control my own small life. “Don’t even think about acting like you’re my servant.”
“When you are ready to leave, I will accompany you,” he said. “I will retire downstairs for the moment and confer with my lord.”
He headed out of the kitchen and down the short hallway. My shout stopped him at the door.
“Wait,” I said. “You need the keys. And what are you going to do in an empty apartment for the next half hour?”
A ghost of a smile flickered across his face. “I do not need the keys, and the apartment is not empty.”
“It isn’t?” I was confused. I didn’t want him to leave, even if he was only going downstairs. I didn’t want this sudden feeling between us, either. Was this what normal people felt like?
“No, it isn’t empty,” he repeated. “After all, I do have a little magic of my own.”
9
FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER I STEPPED OUT OF THE shower and wrapped a towel around my body. Gabriel had healed my injuries, but my jeans had been mutilated beyond repair and my skin had been covered in flakes of dried blood. Cleaning up had been deemed prudent.
As I walked into the bedroom I saw Beezle exactly where I’d expected him to be—perched on my dresser, arms crossed, opening and closing his wings in an annoyed little metronome. He narrowed his cat’s eyes at me as he took a deep breath to begin his tirade.
“Don’t even start with me, Beezle,” I said mildly as I pulled my underwear from the top drawer. Basic, boring black cotton bra and basic, boring black cotton underpants.
“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into,” Beezle snapped. “I see that look in your eye.”
I crossed to the closet and pulled out a black turtleneck sweater and jeans. Basic, boring. Black and blue. I looked critically at my wardrobe. Didn’t I have anything to wear that wasn’t completely drab?
“Madeline, are you listening to me?” Beezle asked.
“No,” I said absently, pulling on my clothes. Maybe after I got paid for my current writing assignment I could go out and buy a few new things. Maybe something red. Red would probably look nice with my dark hair and eyes.
Beezle launched himself from the dresser as I sat on the bed to pull on my boots, which looked mighty crummy after a couple of days of stomping in alleys and bleeding on the leather. As I finished tying the left lace Beezle came to a halt, hovering in front of my face.
“Now, you listen here, Madeline Black,” he said, stabbing a little claw in the direction of my nose. “Whatever ideas you have in your head about Gabriel, you had just better get them out right now!”
“And what makes you think I have any ‘ideas’ at all?” I shot back, annoyed. Gabriel may not be perfect. I may have had doubts about his motivations and his actions. But I was attracted to him. That much I could admit to myself. And I had been so alone for so long. I wasn’t about to let Beezle take that away from me just because he didn’t like the fact that Gabriel was fallen.
“I told you,” he said grimly. “I’ve seen that look in your eye.”
“I doubt that very much. I’ve never had anyone around to put that look in my eye.”
“I didn’t say I’d seen it in your eyes,” he said. “I remember Katherine mooning about just the same way that you are now. And may I humbly remind you that Katherine’s romance with Azazel was not the smartest thing she had ever done.”
I stared at him, stricken. “So what are you saying? I should never have been born?”
“No, no,” he backpedaled hastily, waving his arms. “Of course not. But it is very likely that her death was caused by her relationship with Azazel. I don’t want to see you fall into the same trap.”
I tried to put aside all the raw emotion that I had been carrying around the last couple of days—the lust, the longing, the anger, the hurt, the sense of betrayal by all and sundry. The flayed nerve that was the source of magic deep inside me. When I sifted through those things, looked at them critically, I could agree with Beezle. I was a mess right now. My life had changed too much and too quickly, and I hadn’t exactly responded like a mature adult. Maybe I wasn’t examining Gabriel close enough. Maybe I was letting myself get sucked in by his beauty, by my needs.
“My lady?” he called, knocking on the front door and opening it. “Are you ready to leave now?”
The sound of his voice made my body pull tight like an arrow about to be loosed.
“Maddy,” Beezle pleaded. “Please think about what you are doing.”
I heard Gabriel call me again and I patted Beezle on the cheek. “Don’t worry, Beezle. I promise to be careful.”
Careful. I would be careful. But I hadn’t promised to stay away.
At ten thirty-seven Gabriel and I stood on the corner of Clark and Belmont, watching the teeming masses of humanity rush to and fro. The buildings and the people reflected the constant state of flux that was any Chicago neighborhood. This particular corner had been something of a punk mecca—the Dunkin’ Donuts on the northwest corner of Clark had been affectionately known as the Pun-kin’ Donuts for years. Behind it stood the Alley, once a tiny purveyor of Gothic and punk fashion, now a venerable old Chicago institution that took up several of the buildings on Clark and Belmont. The Alley still hawked Doc Martens, plaid pants and black satin corsets, along with bondage gear, vibrators and just about any other accessory required for the young and alternative, who still flocked to this neighborhood in droves despite the increasing gentrification.