She held the burned-down cigarette in one hand. With her other hand she held the sheet in front of her.
I took the cigarette out of her hand and flicked it across the room into the open fireplace.
“Well, goodbye, Walter,” I said. “I think I’d better hang up now.”
Janis sat up on the bed.
She held the sheet in front of her.
“Darling,” she said very softly, “help me.”
I looked at her, waiting.
“Help me, darling,” she said again.
“Is it true?”
“You know some of it,” she said. “You don’t know all of it. It’s not as bad as it sounds.”
“It’s bad enough.”
“It’s pretty bad, darling.”
I looked at her, and I realized I was crying. “Help you? How can I help you?”
“They had me in a trap. Max and Walter. They cheated me out of everything I’d saved. I was desperate. When Anstruther died it was an accident. I was there. I lost my head. We were arguing and I lost my head. I started to hit at him. First with my fists and then with an empty bottle. All the time we were talking he was playing with the gun. I don’t think he knew it was loaded. We were half wrestling. I was screaming and swearing at him. I’m very strong and he was drunk. Then the gun went off. I didn’t kill him. It was an accident.”
She stopped and looked at me.
“I love you, Dick. Do you believe me when I tell you Anstruther was an accident?”
I shook my head.
“No good, darling. A nice try, but no good. Jean Dahl wasn’t lying when she talked to Walter. She said she heard you come in. She heard you arguing with Anstruther. Then she heard the doorbell ring. Max came in. Then she heard Max threaten to kill him and she heard you beg him not to. And then she heard the shot. I believe she heard all those things. Just the way she told them.”
Janis began to cry very softly.
“I believe she heard all those things. But she couldn’t see what was going on. She could only hear. If she could have seen what was going on, I think she would have seen something like this. I think she would have seen you arguing with Anstruther. I think maybe you did hit him with a bottle. But I think you probably hit him so hard you killed him. Then I think maybe you heard a noise. Or you saw something. I don’t know which. I think maybe, some way or other, you suddenly got the idea you weren’t alone in the apartment. So what I think you did was this: I think you rang the doorbell, and then started talking in Max’s voice. You had a pretty good idea there was someone listening. So you made sure whoever was listening heard you begging Max not to kill him. Then you shot him. But he was already dead when you shot him. You killed him and you framed Max. Now, how did you know there was someone in the apartment?”
Janis looked at me and, after a moment, she spoke. Her voice was very low. “I was outside the door for almost ten minutes before I rang the bell. I heard them talking. I knew there was a girl with him.”
“Well. Now we’re getting someplace.”
“You’re right, Dick. It happened just like you said. Except for one little thing. One little thing. I didn’t mean to kill him. We were fighting. He was very drunk. I did hit him with the bottle. I hit him very hard. But I didn’t mean to kill him. He was a sick man. It wouldn’t have killed him if he wasn’t. I killed him, but it was an accident. Then I got frightened. And I did what you said. I knew someone was listening, so I tried to make it look as if I hadn’t done it. It was a terrible thing. I know that. But I didn’t mean to kill him. You have to believe that, Dick. It was crazy and foolish and terrible. But I didn’t mean to kill him. Do you believe me now? Do you believe me when I tell you it was an accident?” she sobbed.
“I don’t know. I don’t know what to believe.”
“Do you believe I love you?”
“I don’t know. Do you?”
“Try me.”
“Go on,” I said. “What about Jean Dahl? What about her? Was that an accident, too? And what about Max? Another accident?”
“It wasn’t me in the dark. It was Max. If he says it wasn’t, he’s lying. Jean Dahl was blackmailing him. I don’t know what with. But she was blackmailing him. He tried to get her twice before. And then in the dark he did it.”
She let go of the sheet.
She sat on the bed, naked to the waist.
“I love you, Dick. You say you love me. You say nothing ever changes. If you love me, believe me.”
“You tried to kill Max.”
“That’s the bad part. I told him this afternoon I wouldn’t marry him. He’s a gangster, Dick. You don’t know anything about it. This isn’t the book publishing world. This isn’t nice people who read the Saturday Review of Literature and make witty remarks at cocktail parties about people they hate.
“You don’t know anything about this. This is the jungle. You have to fight and lie and cheat to get where I am. You have to knife your friends and go to bed with your enemies. You’ve got to be hard. You’ve got to be so tough they can’t hurt you. When you’re trying to make it the people on the top are kicking you, trying to keep you down. And when you get there, the people below are trying to pull you back down. It’s a jungle, Dick. And it’s been my life for ten years.”
I watched her. I could feel a pulse in my temple throbbing.
“Max wanted me to marry him. I told him I wouldn’t. He said I had to. He said I had no choice. He’d tell about faking the book. And he would have. He was just as desperate as I was. He would have ruined me forever. He’s a gangster, Dick. You don’t understand him. I tried to kill him. I thought I had. I wish I had. I’d do it again.”
She stood up slowly.
“Look at me, Dick. Look at me.”
I looked at her.
Her arms were at her sides. Her body was firm but soft. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.
“I belong to you, Dick. I always have.”
I didn’t speak. I couldn’t.
“Help me, Dick.”
“What can I do?”
“Tell me you believe me.”
“I don’t know.”
“I love you, Dick. You believe that, don’t you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Kiss me. You’ll know. You’ll have to know.”
“Janis…”
“You’ll know. You’ll know if I’m lying or not. You’ll be able to tell. I love you, Dick. Kiss me.”
I looked at her. I couldn’t tell. I couldn’t tell at all.
“Darling, I don’t know…”
“You’ll know.”
I dropped the gun onto the floor and moved toward her. I took her arms at the elbows and drew her close. She lifted her head. Her eyes were open. They were very serious and very deep.
I kissed her.
Only our lips touched. Her mouth was soft and warm.
“All right, darling,” I said. “We’ll see. But wait a minute. Just a minute. I have something to do first.”
I went to the door and locked it.
Then I walked to the mirror. I picked up a chair and shattered the mirror. It broke into a thousand jagged pieces. Through the emptiness we could see the back of the picture.
I walked to the head of the bed and began to examine the headboard.
It took me a few minutes to find the hidden microphone. It was very cleverly concealed but I knew what I was looking for. I had to rip the whole headboard off the wall in order to get at it. I smashed through and tore out the wires.
“So much for dear Walter,” I said.
Then I turned to Janis.
She began to speak again. “I’m telling you the truth, Dick. I’ve done terrible things. I admit that. But you have to believe me when I tell you I didn’t mean to kill Anstruther. And you have to believe me when I say I love you. If you believe those two things none of the other terrible things matter.”
I looked at her for a long while, trying to decide what to do.
“Kiss me, darling, and then you’ll know. You’ll know one way or the other. You’ll know.”
Her lips parted and in a moment we were clinging together. My hands held the small of her back. Her arms were around me. We sank backward to the bed.