Fear is healthy when one faces fundamental changes. What you learn now is how to navigate a sea of thoughts and intentions and sensations and magic. What they may teach you, even I do not know. They are the Three Watchers. The last person they spoke to in any direct manner was Oacenth, coronal and grand mage of Jhyrennstar. Khelben's sending felt reverent and totally in awe of whom he spoke. At last, Arun's Son. You Are welcome among us, Tsarra Autumnfire, and we Honor you as Our hands. Tsarra bowed to them, but asked, Your hands? I don't understand. You have borne three souls in part and thrived. The laughing elf woman appeared before her as if a reflection on a still pool. Tsarra liked her face with its deep dimples and broad smile. The image scattered, only to be replaced by another, as if a breeze blew through the sharn and disturbed its surface. The male's voice matched the seriousness of his tone. Greater still is your burden to come.
Know you are of our blood, thin though it may be. The bald woman's visage shimmered into Tsarra's sight, and she leaned forward to kiss her on both cheeks. So open and closed all at once. She knows and ignores both heart and head. Half an elf, half a woman, but always stronger than you believe yourself, like so many. Your strength shall carry us all this day. You only need unlearn your limitations. And here I thought Khelben was cryptic, Tsarra mused to herself. I heard that. Khelben's voice whispered from her other side, and it felt like he took her right arm as the bald elf woman had taken up her left.
There is no difference here between thought and voice, Tsarra. Now, for all our sakes, listen to them. Hear them. Tsarra felt her neck get hot, which it always did when her temper rose. I'm willing to play my part, but someone had better ask soon, rather than assume I'm able and willing to do what you need me to. Good. The gravel-voiced elf became the bearer on her left. Stop tamping down emotions. Emotions are the heart of magic. We should not have to tell a sorcerer that. His face shimmered into the rounder-faced woman who looked up into her eyes and asked, Autumnfire, what would you know? The answers are within you and all of us. Let them in, rather than fight. We awaken to individuality for the first time in millennia. We need ask of you no more than you ask of us, for we are all one. Do not fight this as you do your heart.
Let us in, and we shall all understand. Hamra is right, Tsarra. I'll be here to help you, if you need me. Khelben's voice reassured her and grounded her. Tsarra's heart felt like it was bursting and she seemed to be breathing very fitfully, but she realized it was simply fear.
They are magic too, in their own ways, but rarely for the good. Fear is ignorance and anger. Unlike most half-breeds, you do not fear one side or the other. You are whole, for you were not raised by fear but love. Humandelf. No division. Tsarra remembered both her parents repeatedly telling her, "You are not a half-anything. You're our daughter, you're whole, you're loved, and that's all you ever need to know." She smiled and relaxed as he sent, Learn what we understand…
Tsarra knew the gravel voice was T'karon, Cor'Selu'-Taar'Miyeritar.
The awareness came to her like an awakening. Despite his gruff exterior and voice, T'karon had a kind heart. She understood his simplest pleasure was walking barefoot in dew-covered grass. She found herself remembering things that were dust five thousand years before her grandfathers were born. Her eyes welled with tears as she watched the olive-dark stormclouds sting and sear the Syavaeor Fields. She saw the fires choke and sunder the shimmering citadel of Kraanfhaor. She screamed as she felt the sting of the acid rains falling on her-his-her-his skin, and she howled as the whirlwinds shredded stone, wood, and flesh. She felt the fall of cities and armies and fell to her knees beneath the weight of all that tragedy. She sobbed over the corpses of loved ones and beat her breast in memoriam of those fallen at Myth Akherynnar and shaved her head bald to mourn imprisoned far from home and among her enemies… Too Much! Khelben's voice shattered through a thousand memories and feelings to reach her. Grand Mages T'karon, Hamra, and Alunor, Stop! Khelben's voice fell away again, as Tsarra was caught once more in the undertow of wave upon wave of memory, emotion, and more power than she'd ever known. She smelled the rewaran blooms beneath a full moon, when Chearel finally proposed, the scent of a healing draught, the sandalwood-and-sawdust scent of his love's hair, the smell of burnt air in a spellduel…
She felt the hot embrace of lovers, the cool stone and the smell of dust and metal as it shaped by his will, the merry drumbeat of her hooves beneath her at full gallop, chasing after Karnoth in the Courting Herd… More than a thousand minds pressed upon her, but Tsarra focused on one thing she knew very well-Khelben's voice. This place is nigh-timeless, but to force her to relive a thousand lifetimes to understand is too much. Tsarra had never before heard Khelben plead. Only in his own memories did he defer to anyone's authority. Her senses were awash with hundreds of smells, tastes, touches, and voices, but she clung to his words. Do not sacrifice who she is for what you need! It is within your power to overwhelm her, possess her, and have her act out your will as a puppet. Do so and you do not realize your dreams or those of your protege Oacenth. You only repeat the sins you fled from. Do not become Vyshannti! What scared Tsarra the most was the immediate stillness. No memories, no senses, nothing. She saw the three selu'kiira of the grand mages hovering nearby, the faces and bodies of their bearers hidden from her. She sensed their shame, their anger, and their fears, knowing everything hinged on what happened next. She needed to learn what was expected of her, what they all needed… but to ask them for information was too overwhelming. Tsarra smiled as she realized the solution. Khelben? I need you to help me speak with Danthra. If everyone can focus on her and send her energy, we can guide her visions toward what we need to know. Is that possible? More than possible, and an ingenious solution that had escaped me. Khelben beamed broadly, and the sparkling crowd returned as the mood lightened. Khelben faced her and the three kiira floated down to form a straight line between Tsarra's kiira and Khelben's forehead. Smaller lights glistened off the gems and Tsarra heard the three speaking all around her. Apologies, Autumnfire. We have been of singular mind Longer than an age. We have forgotten that not All minds are ours to use at our will and for our Purposes. Let us make amends and work together As friends, not as subjects. Friendship, too, is a magic and one we needs foster Anew. Let us speak with the Dreamer and see What she sees, and from there, we shall seek The final remnants of our realmthe seeds of our future. The seeds of everyone's future.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Feast of the Moon, the Year of Lightning Storms (1374 DR)
Tsarra smiled as she hugged the sparkling form of Danthra the Dreamer, who kissed her cheek and promptly dissipated into the sparkling void of the sharnform. Why can't she stay with us, Khelben?
She'll only distract you now and pull your attention away from where it needs be. She will be there when you need her, as will all here.
Now, all fears allayed? Tsarra smiled. All the old ones, aye. It's the new ones that are crowding in now. As with all things-you reach the end of your climb to understanding and you find yourself at the bottom of an entirely new slope invisible from below. One of my mentors said it's the tree you can never stop climbing. The fall would kill you once you'd climbed high enough, so it's best to focus on going farther. So let's keep climbing, then. How long has it been since we left the Eightower? Not even a half-bell. Remember that we communicate far more swiftly enmind than we do in mundane ways. Now, the sharn have their abilities to slip through the ethereal and broach nearly any protections or barriers. Focus on watching the Gathering, Tsarra, and participate where you can. Every chance to work cooperatively will help you in the working to come in a few hours. I need to converse more with the grand mages. With that, Khelben's presence drifted away.