“I feel the same way.”
“Yes, of course you do. In my case... I’m just so sick and tired of losing people I care about. My parents, two friends to AIDS, Roger, and now Carolyn.”
“Roger?”
“A man with whom I had a long-term relationship.” He said it matter-of-factly, but the words were underscored with bitterness. “He’s not really dead, but he might as well be as far as I’m concerned.”
There was nothing for me to say to that.
“Lost love, shattered dreams,” Bishop said. It sounded self-pitying, but I had the feeling it wasn’t. “Carolyn understood. All too well. That’s one of the bonds we had. More than once we cried on each other’s shoulders.”
“How did the two of you meet?”
“White Rock School. I’m also an instructor there — history, social studies, political science.”
“And she confided in you about her marriage?”
“Oh, yes. She had no one else to talk to, you see. No close friends, no living relatives. That was another bond we shared. Lonely people naturally gravitate to each other, particularly those in the same line of work.”
“About her marriage, Mr. Bishop.”
“Well, it was difficult for her. Very difficult. I told her she would be much better off if she left Jay, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She believed in seeing a commitment through, no matter how unpleasant it became. I understood that. I doubt I could have left Roger if he hadn’t walked out. Love makes fools of us all.”
“Sometimes.”
“Not always, that’s true. We were just two of the unlucky ones. But my God, I never thought he’d do anything to cause her to die.”
“He may not be the one who caused her death, except indirectly.”
“That crazy scheme of his to take away her inheritance... I warned her that’s what it was, a scheme, but she needed to give him the benefit of the doubt. Until it became too obvious for her to ignore and she went to see you. But even then...”
“There’s no evidence yet to prove that Cohalan was involved in what happened last night.”
Bishop frowned. “You mean you don’t believe he was?”
“I didn’t say that. Just that there’s no evidence yet.”
“But who else, if not Jay?”
“I don’t know. I was hoping that was why you wanted to see me — that you have some information that might help me find out who’s responsible.”
“No. I wish I did, but... no.”
“Then why did you ask to see me?”
“I thought you could tell me something.” The vague gesture again; it was obviously habitual with him. “I needed to talk to someone and you... I thought... I’m sorry if I misled you.”
“Don’t apologize, Mr. Bishop. I understand.”
“Do you?”
I nodded. He was a bleeder, too. Not the Cohalan and Byers leech variety — the sensitive, empathetic type like me who leaks soul blood when deeply wounded. The difference between us was that his reaction was passive, his anger impotent; he had to reach out to others to help staunch the flow and cauterize the wound. I had to do the job directly, with minimal aid from others. Bleeder, heal thyself.
“Do you know if Carolyn told anyone besides you about the cash?” I asked him. “That I had it and was going to deliver it to her yesterday?”
“No, I’m sure she didn’t. She came straight here after she spoke to you Thursday night.”
“She didn’t call anyone, talk to anyone?”
“Just me. We sat up most of the night talking.”
“And you’re sure you didn’t let it slip to anybody?”
“Oh, God, no. I’d never betray a confidence like that, not even accidentally. I’m too cautious for that.”
I said, “I understand Cohalan was chronically unfaithful.”
“Chronically is the right word.”
“Did she know any of the women?”
“I doubt it. She never mentioned any specific person.”
“I have to ask this. Did she ever retaliate in kind?”
“Take a lover of her own? Not Carolyn. She was the most moral person I’ve ever known.” He added sadly, “And the most forgiving.”
“Did you know Cohalan uses methamphetamines?”
“She told me, yes,” Bishop said. “Another chronic fault. I swear, she was a saint to have put up with that man.”
“Would you have any idea who supplied him?”
“With drugs? No.”
“Would Carolyn have revealed a name if she’d known?”
“She might have. Yes.”
“Charles Bright. That name ring any bells?”
He thought about it before shaking his head.
“Steve Niall?”
Same consideration, same negative.
“How about Dingo?”
“I don’t... Dingo?”
“Like the Australian wild dog.”
“No. I’m sure I’ve never heard that name from Carolyn or anyone else. All these people... who are they?”
I said, “Possible drug connections,” and let it go at that. “Anything else you can tell me? Anything at all she might have confided about her husband, his affairs, his drug use?”
He didn’t answer immediately; his expression said he was working his memory. And he pinched something out of it that brought a sudden glint to his eyes. “There is one thing. I don’t know if it’s important, but...” He got abruptly to his feet. “Wait here, I’ll be right back.”
I stayed in the armchair for about a minute before restlessness drove me out of it. I paced around, looking at the framed photographs without really seeing what was in them. On my third circuit, Bishop reappeared and came quickly to where I was.
“Carolyn found this about three weeks ago,” he said, holding out a small, round object. “In a pair of Jay’s trousers. She thought I might know what it is and brought it to school and forgot it when she left my office. I meant to return it, but she didn’t ask for it, and I forgot it, too, until just now.”
The object was brown, made of smooth, shiny plastic, about the size of a poker chip. On one side, in black, were the words Lucky Buffalo Chip. On the other side, a red line drawing of a grinning horned bull wearing a ten-gallon cowboy hat; underneath, in a half circle along the edge, more black printing: Remember the Alamo!
Bishop asked hopefully, “Does it mean anything to you?”
“No.”
“Nor to me. It reminds me of those tokens they give out in Nevada casinos, good for free plays on the blackjack and roulette tables. But gambling isn’t one of Jay’s vices — the only one he doesn’t have, I’m sure.”
“Doesn’t look like a casino token,” I said, “despite the ‘lucky.’ Some kind of advertising gimmick, maybe.”
“I can’t imagine what for.”
Neither could I at the moment. I said, “Do you mind if I keep this?”
“By all means, if you think it might help.”
I tucked it into my wallet with the note scraps from Byers’ studio. Bishop showed me to the door and then said, “May I ask you something?”
“Go ahead.”
“When you find the man who killed Carolyn and hurt you... will you be all right?”
I didn’t have to ask him what he meant. He was a perceptive man; he had me pegged, too. “For that part of it, yes.”
“And afterward?”
“I think so.”
“A survivor,” he said.
“I have been so far.”
“As have I. So far.”
We shook hands solemnly, like brothers saying good-bye.
Tamara said, “Where you at? Sounds noisy.”
It was noisy. I was in a busy service station on Ocean Avenue, feeding another load of black gold into the gas tank. Two trucks and an M line street car were rumbling by just then. And at the pumps ahead of me, a woman was loudly complaining to her passenger about the outrageous gas prices, saying that what they amounted to was consumer rape. She’d get no argument from me.