She drew a deep breath, grabbed her robe from the bed, and shrugged into it as she walked down the hall toward the porch.
Eve was sitting on the swing. “At least you look awake now.” She handed her a cup of hot chocolate. “Drink it. It's chilly out here.”
“We could go inside.”
“I don't want to wake Joe. He'd think I'm exaggerating your problem. Hell, he might not even see it as a problem. He's all for patience and letting you work it out for yourself.”
“Maybe he's right.” She sipped her hot chocolate and then sat down on the top porch step. “I don't see it as a problem.”
“Well, I do. And it's up to you to convince me I'm wrong.” She lifted her cup to her lips. “By telling me what the devil you're dreaming about.”
She made a face. “Chill, Eve. It's not as if I'm suffering some deep psychological trauma that's connected with you or Joe or even the way I grew up.”
“How do I know that? How do you know that? Dreams aren't always clear and they can be interpreted in a number of different ways.”
“Yeah, by some shrink who gets paid a couple hundred dollars an hour to make dumb guesses.”
“I'm not that fond of psychoanalysis myself, but I want to know that I haven't failed you.”
Jane smiled. “For heaven's sake, you haven't failed me, Eve. You've been everything that's kind and understanding, and that wasn't easy with a hard nut like me.” She took another drink of hot chocolate. “But I should have known you'd blame yourself for something that has nothing to do with you.”
“Then show me it has nothing to do with me. Tell me about that damn dream.”
“How do you know it's the same one every time?”
“Isn't it?”
Jane was silent. “Yes.”
“At last.” Eve leaned back in the swing. “More.”
“Well, it is and it isn't. It starts out the same way, but every dream seems to take a step forward.” She looked out at the lake. “And sometimes . . . it doesn't . . . I don't know if it's really a dream.” She moistened her lips. “I know it sounds crazy but I'm there, Eve.”
“Where?”
“I'm in a tunnel or a cave. Something like that. And I'm trying to find the end, the opening, but I don't know where it is. And there's not much time. There's no air and it's getting hotter and hotter. I keep running but I'm not sure I'm going to find the way out.”
“Hell?”
She shook her head. “That would fit the bill, wouldn't it? Hot and no air and an endless chase. But this is a real tunnel. And I'm not dead, I'm alive and fighting to stay that way.”
“That's no surprise. You've been a fighter all your life.”
“Yes, I have.” She kept her gaze on the lake. “But in the dream when I remember fighting . . . it's different. They're not my memories, my battles, they're hers.” She shook her head in confusion. “I mean mine, but they're not mine. Crazy . . .”
“You're not crazy. You just need help to understand all this.”
“Yeah, and the shrink would tell me I'm trying to escape reality by climbing into someone else's shoes. Bullshit. I like my reality.”
“But you don't like those nightmares.”
“They're not so bad. I can live with them.”
“Well, I can't. Maybe if you took a sedative, you'd be too deeply asleep to have—”
Jane's head swung around. “No!”
“I don't like drugs either but it might—”
“I'm not afraid of taking a sedative. I just can't— I have to finish it.”
“What?”
“I have to get to the end of the tunnel. She'll . . . I'll die if I don't get out of there.”
“Do you know how irrational that sounds?”
“I don't care. I have to do it.” She could see Eve was about to protest and hurried on. “Look, I don't know what's happening to me but I think . . . no, I know there's a reason for it. That's a hard thing for me to admit because I don't believe in much that I can't see or touch.” She tried to smile. “I believe in you and Joe and what we have together. That's good and real. But what's happening in that tunnel is real too. And if I don't keep on trying to help her, she may be lost.”
“You said ‘she' again.”
“Did I?” She hadn't realized it. “So what are you thinking, Eve?”
“I don't know what to think.” She frowned. “If it's not you, tell me who you think this woman is. Do you believe it's some telepathic connection with someone in distress? I've heard of things like that.”
“Not to people like me. I'm not psychic.”
“Anything is possible.”
Jane smiled. “I thought you'd try to find a way to believe in me, even if I sounded bonkers. That's why I told you.”
“After I pried it out of you.”
“I had to make you work a little.” Her smile faded. “I don't have any answers, Eve. I have a lot of questions and every one of them scares me.”
“When did you start having these nightmares?”
“Two months ago.”
“About the time Aldo appeared in the Southeast.”
“But I didn't know it. So he couldn't have triggered them.” She smiled again. “Go ahead. Tell me everything is possible again. I like that line.” She finished her hot chocolate. “Since I don't have any answers, it's very comforting.” She stood up. “Don't worry about this, Eve. Maybe it will just go away on its own.” She crossed the porch and gave her a quick hug. “And if it's any comfort to you, no serial killer is chasing me down that tunnel. That's not why I'm running.”
“Good. I'm glad you're alone. We're having enough trouble without that bastard following you into your dreams.”
She hesitated. “Well, I'm not exactly alone. There's someone behind me. A man. But I'm angry, not afraid of him.”
“Who is it?”
She shook her head. “Shadowy.” She shrugged and smiled. “Well, now you know everything I know. And it's probably all bunk and the result of my deprived childhood. But I'm not going to let any shrink tell me that. So let's forget it and go to bed.”
“I'm not going to forget it.”
“I know you won't.” Jane felt a surge of warmth as she looked at her. “All these years you've tried to bring home all those lost ones and you don't like the idea I might join the ranks even in a small way. I'm not lost, Eve. There's a way out of that tunnel. I just don't know where she—I'm going.”
“Then tell me when you have another one and we'll figure it out. Two heads are always better. I'm not about to scoff at anything you say to me. I've found that sometimes dreams are the only salvation.”
“I know you have.”
Eve suddenly stiffened as she caught an odd note in Jane's tone. “Jane?”
Lord, she hadn't meant to say that, Jane thought. She should back down and lie to her. No, she'd never lied to Eve and she wouldn't start now. “I . . . heard you.”
“What?”
“You were sitting out by the lake and you didn't know I was on the trail behind you.”
“And?”
“Bonnie. You were talking to Bonnie.”
Eve was silent for a long moment. “In my sleep?”
“I guess so. You were leaning against a tree. I don't know. I only know you were talking to someone who wasn't there.” She could see the shock on Eve's face and added quickly, “That was over three years ago. I knew you wouldn't want to talk about it so I never— I should have kept my mouth shut. Stop looking like that. It's okay. You have a right to— It's okay.”
“Three years.” She looked at her in wonder. “And you never mentioned it. . . .”
“What was there to say? You were hurting. So you talked to your dead daughter. It was your business.”
“And it never occurred to you that I might be a little . . . off center?”