He knew last night how Gemma felt about him. There was no other reason for her to let him touch her and possess her in such a way. But love? Where does she get the absurd notion that I’m capable of loving anything anymore? I’m not even capable of loving myself, let alone someone else.
Bracing himself for whatever she’s about to do, he asks cautiously, “Do you wish to continue?”
Raising her hand to her face, she wipes the remaining tears from her cheeks and squares her shoulders. She glances toward the window and takes several deep breaths. Every time her chest rises, Phillipe curses himself for wanting to touch her. He wants to place his ear on her chest to hear the proof that she is alive, but he won’t do that to her. He can’t do that to her because he’s barely breathing himself. To drag her down with him would be the cruelest twist of all.
“Continue what?” Her voice floats across the space to him.
“The paintings, Gemma. What else would I mean?”
She shifts, wrapping her arms around her waist.
Defensively?Maybe. Protectively seemed more likely though. She is back to protecting herself against him.
“There are only two left,” Phillipe explains.
She continues staring out the window, looking anywhere but at him.
“Sacred and Deceptive.”
All of a sudden, she turns back to face him, focusing her eyes on his. Cool and devoid of emotion, she tells him calmly, “I’ll be back here tonight at 6:00 p.m. We will do Sacred since that’s the ground I just apparently walked all over.”
Then, without another word, he watches her leave the studio.
Sacred ~
There are moments in your life when you know you are in exactly the right place at the right time.
This morning, as I was lying beside Phillipe on my stomach, I knew that I had one of those moments.
As the sun warmed my skin, his fingers traced my tattoo for what felt like hours, and his mouth was against mine, kissing and nibbling.
I finally opened my eyes.
“Good morning,” he murmured.
I smiled at him and arched my back into his touch.
“You like this?” he asked.
His fingers once again moved over the F-holes that had been permanently marked on my skin. Nodding, I scooted in closer to him turning my head. His mouth found mine in a sweet morning kiss that made my heart speed up and pound against my rib cage.
“In the sunlight, your skin is almost iridescent. Did you know that?”
Feeling a full smile appear on my mouth, I was thrilled when he joined in the joyous moment as he kissed me again.
“I can’t stop touching you,” he told me, his fingers dipping down to flirt with the curve of my ass.
Nipping his bottom lip, I pushed my tummy and pelvis on the mattress as I felt his cock start to stir against the side of my leg.
“Who’s asking you to?”
I felt him sigh, and his breath floated across my lips. He let his index finger slide deeper between my dark crack.
“No one?” he asked as though it were a question.
“That’s right. No one. Certainly, not me.”
His lips moved, and I felt them on my shoulder. He bit it gently as he shifted, rolling me to my side.
In this position, I could feel the sun hitting my naked breasts and belly while his warm strong chest pressed against my back and his throbbing shaft nestled into the cleft of my ass. One of his hands wrapped around my waist, and his large palm brushed along my exposed mound before he slid his hand down to my thigh.
“Lift this back here,” he instructed.
Moving my leg back, he propped it up on his thigh, exposing myself to him. His fingers traced down my inner thigh to where my pussy was now spread open for his playful fingers. They dipped and slid through my wetness, and all the while, I could feel his hips shifting and pushing that strong cock to my crack.
“I don’t want to leave today,” he confessed, nibbling my ear.
“You need to go to the States. It’s only going to be for three days,” I replied through ragged breaths.
He brushed my clit with his fingers. “I don’t want to leave you.”
Pushing my hips back, I looked over my shoulder to where I knew he was. “Take me?”
Flexing his pelvis forward, he thrust his fingers up into me. “I’m going to. Have patience, Chantel.”
Shaking my head, I pushed back again with my ass. “Take me here.”
His whole body stilled as I wriggled against the fingers that were deep inside of me.
That’s when he seemed to find his voice again. “You sure?”
Reaching for my sun-warmed breasts, I smiled at his hesitation. He was usually so confident. To catch him off-guard showed me just how much he treasured this gift.
Pinching my nipples, I replied, “Yes, Phillipe. I want to feel you everywhere before I feel you nowhere.”
I heard a pained groan rumble into my ear as his chest vibrated against my back, and his hand moved as he slowly dragged his wet fingers out of my clingy body.
Shifting behind me, he brought up his fingers and pressed down on my bottom lip. “Taste how excited you are, Chantel. Taste how excited you are to be mine.”
Groaning, I took his fingers into my mouth, sucking on them, while rubbing my ass against him.
He pulled me in tight. “Goddamn it.” He growled. “What you’re giving me is sacred.”
I felt a tear fall from my eye at the beauty of the moment and at the thought of not touching him for days.
“I love you,” he told me over and over. “You are perfection.”
As I rocked against him, I knew this was our moment, the exact right place I was supposed to be in.
We were sacred.
Who am I kidding? I think, throwing the offending journal on the bed. I can’t write this piece anymore. I’m too involved. All of my professional detachment is gone, and all I’m left with is this emotional mess, who is currently curled up on a bed, hating a ghost.
When I first arrived, he was a stranger, and she was a figment of my imagination that I put together from pictures and articles. But now? Now, she is just as real as he is, and with every word she typed, I feel her touching a part of me that I don’t understand.
I don’t want to love either one of them, yet I know that is exactly what has happened. Somewhere between Chantel telling me why she loved him and learning for myself that he was too hard not to love, I have fallen deeply for a man who I barely know and who doesn’t want me. He touches me with every look he gives me, and she touches me with every word she tells me.
I feel as though my heart is being pulled in two separate directions, yet neither direction is the right path for me to choose. She is no longer here, but he won’t let her go. So, where does that leave me? Well, that’s easy. I’m left alone.