The voices of the wandering souls grew quiet, then came back louder than ever. Lulu said, "Remember how I used to tease you about it being all ironic with you named Spyder, that you're so afraid of spiders?"
"We worked that over once or twice."
"Be glad you're blind right now. I shit you not, there's a twelve foot tall spider strolling down the shoreline kicking people out of his way like he's Donald fucking Trump."
Spyder reflexively pressed his back into the outcropping and went very cold inside. He wanted desperately to find the tunnel and go back up they way they had come, but Shrike grabbed him and held on.
"We have to go on," said Shrike. "Trust me. I'll take care of you."
"Weird," said Lulu. "That spider looks sort of mechanical. Like someone took about ten junked cars, some old TVs and prosthetic limbs, wired them together and taught them to walk. And it gets better. The thing's got a human head."
Feedback knifed through Spyder's head, bringing back memories of a hundred sweaty clubs on a thousand drunken nights. A voice crackled and boomed, broken, imperious and mad.
"Move along, you desperate scum, you noxious void of the earth's bowels, move along! Your fate lies across the Bone Sea, not on my shore! Across the river is the eternity you courted your whole corrupt and sorrowful lives. It is the eternity you shall receive. No one remains on my shore. Move along, you lost lambs, food for the wolf. Lolly-gag and your suffering will begin all the sooner!"
"Shrike, get your sword up," said Lulu. "Daddy longlegs is headed this way, twelve o'clock high."
A rhythmic clanking filled the air, along with the smell of burning oil, decaying flesh and overheated circuit boards. Spyder sensed some enormous presence looming over them.
"My god. You're alive," came the voice. It was low and human. The madness was gone. "Forgive me for that scene a moment ago. They make me say and do those terrible things. The beasts who run the machines. I'm attached, you see."
"Who are you?" asked Shrike.
"Cornelius…something, I think," said the spider machine. "I was once one of these poor souls. Lost and terrified. I don't belong here. I don't deserve Hell. I refused to cross the Bone Sea. Demons came with nets and rounded us up like wild animals. When I awoke I was the foul thing you see before you."
"You must've gotten on someone's bad side, then super-sized it," said Lulu.
"I can't remember," Cornelius said. "Kind souls, will you kill me and free me from this endless torment?"
"I don't think we can kill you, Cornelius," said Shrike. "You're already dead."
"Am I? It's been such a long time. I don't remember."
"Cornelius, we need to get to Pandemonium. Can you help us?"
"I would if I could, dear lady. I've never been there or even seen the place, but I hear it's glorious. I've never been anywhere but this shore." Madness was edging back into his voice.
"That's not true. You were a man," said Spyder. "Don't ever forget that."
"A man. Was I? How nice. Yes, I remember. I was a boy and we lived by the sea. In Brighton. There were trains and gulls. It was lovely…" Circuits fried. The spider machine lurched and Spyder felt the ground shake.
The demented, amplified voice was back. "Move along, you wandering excrement, god's pitiful blunders. Move along and despair!" Cornelius moved back in the direction of the shore, hunting wandering souls. His voice faded as he went, but its echo filled whatever space enclosed them.
"I think it's time to go," said Lulu. She led Spyder and Shrike to the edge of the stinking, clotted water and helped them into one of the coal cars. Souls fell back as they went. Spyder felt their hands caress him, as if looking for warmth. The car lurched into the air and carried them over the Bone Sea.
"I seriously wonder if we're gonna make it out of here," said Lulu. No one replied.
Forty Five
Pink Boy
It seemed to Spyder that it was taking a long damned time for the little cart to clatter and squeal its way over the Bone Sea.
"Talk to me, Lulu," said Spyder. "Where are we?"
"About half way across," she said.
"How's that possible? We've been crossing for hours."
"Daddy, are we there yet? Daddy, are we there yet?"
"We're not in the world anymore," said Shrike. "We can't expect time to run here the way it does at home."
"This is an E ticket freakshow, I wanna tell you," said Lulu. "You sight-impaired-types are missing some severe shit. Which might not be a bad thing. Like, if you ever want to eat again."
"Tell us," said Spyder.
"I'm just babbling cause I'm a little scared. You don't need this shit in your heads. My guess is there'll be plenty of monsters to go 'round."
Spyder shifted in his seat, trying to find a comfortable position. The sheath for Apollyon's knife kept jabbing him in the leg. When he tried to stand, Lulu pulled him back down.
"There's things on the wires. Like baboons with porcu-pine quills all down their backs. The quills are matted together, like knives. They're eating this green fungus growing on the wires. The bored ones are grabbing souls from the other carts and dropping 'em into the sea."
Spyder fidgeted as Shrike began to sing. "Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip that started from this tropic port, aboard this tiny ship…" Lulu picked up the Gilligan's Island theme, then Spyder. When that was done Spyder tried to remember the words to the Mickey Mouse Club, but all he could come up with was, "Hey there, Hi there, Ho there, we're as happy as can be…," so they sang that over and over until it got boring. Lulu started a kid's song about a dog named "Bingo." They sang every TV theme and campfire song they ever knew.
Finally, Lulu said, "Praise the lord. We're made it." A moment later, the bottom of the cart dragged across a beach that crunched underfoot, like crushed shells. They jumped out and landed safely on the ground, as the cart continued its endless roundabout journey.
Lulu grabbed Spyder and pulled him and Shrike to their feet. "Let's move. We're attracting a crowd. More of those hangin' around dead folks."
Spyder didn't need her to tell him. He could hear them coming, crunching lightly across the beach toward them. Their voices were like whispers drifting through a long ventilation duct-flat, distant and insistent. Spyder stumbled and went down on one knee, cutting his hands on the sharp shells. Lulu and Shrike started to help him up, but other hands were there, pulling him away, purring and cooing and desperate.
"Blood. He's alive!"
"Please wizard, do me a service in Hell and I'll tell you where to find a great treasure back on earth…"
"Take my place in the Inferno and your heirs will rule a vast and wealthy kingdom!"
"So pretty. The red. Life."
"Save me, my lord. I am a virtuous woman…"
There were so many lost souls on this side of the Bone Sea, and they were much more aggressive than the souls who'd refused to make the crossing. None had much individual strength, but their combined desperation had Spyder pinned within their massed presence. It was like being slowly crushed under a ton of feathers. Spyder felt his leather jacket rip and his shirt come apart. The souls gasped and fell back.
"His skin marks…"
"L'homme peint…"
"A warrior…"
Their hands were on Spyder's back, and running over his arms and face. So many of them, he couldn't breathe. They pulled his hair and clawed at his cheeks. He tried to push them away, but it was like pushing at air. Fingers slipped under his blindfold and into his eyes. The souls' fingertips glowed inside his eyeballs like eerie deep sea creatures.