"How does that help us?" asked Lulu.
"There's this old story about Vlad the Impaler, a medieval Romanian prince and the blood-crazy fuck that Dracula is based on," Spyder said. "More than anything, this guy loved killing Turks, and he loved killing them by impaling them on long wooden poles. He'd stake whole fields with thousands of dead and dying Turkish POWs. Everyone was afraid of ole Vlad. A story goes, that he left a golden goblet by a waterfall on the road to his city, a place where travelers could get a cool drink on the long road. This goblet was worth a lifetime's wages for anyone in his kingdom. But people were so afraid of this psycho that no one ever stole the goblet. They didn't want to end up like one of those Turks."
"Thanks for taking us there, bro. But what the fuck does that mean?"
"Vlad left the goblet so people could get a drink. He also wanted to prove what a badass he was."
"There won't be any guards at all," said Shrike.
"That's my guess," said Spyder. "Lucifer knows no one has the balls to steal from him. I bet the place is going to be wide open."
"Who's going to find out?" Lulu asked.
Before any of them could respond, there was a sound. Deep, ponderous and rhythmic, like diesel engines the size of mountains driving wheels the size of skyscrapers. Spyder climbed to the top of the alkali mound and peered carefully over the top.
"What is it?" asked Shrike.
It was an army. At least, that was Spyder's best guess. There were demons and damned souls marching onto the plain to Spyder's right. They were clad in armor. Or maybe not armor, he decided. Machinery? Parts of the souls were definitely machine-like. In fact, some were variations on the spider machine they'd see back at the Bone Sea. -Others were Frankenstein patch jobs, trailing long umbilicals attached to still larger machines driven by demons.
"Lulu, tell me you've still got your shotgun," said -Spyder.
"An armed society is a polite society and I'm Miss-fuckin'-Manners."
"I take it we've been found out," Shrike said.
"Found out, sold down the river and the river frozen over."
"You've got the magic knife. Think what Shrike and I have'll stop these demons?" asked Lulu.
"I doubt it. But if they're going to snuff us, I want to send a few home with bad dreams."
"Wait a minute," said Spyder. He shifted position on the mound. "Fuck."
"What is it?" asked Lulu.
"Dé6aà2dfucking-vu."
"What?" asked Shrike.
"Remember that nightmare you had in the desert? The one we both had? With the chariot?"
"Of course."
"We've got the director's cut about to go down right in front of us," Spyder said. He slid down the mound. "That Hell army isn't for us. It's for your friend, Xero."
"Did you see him?"
"I saw a gold chariot, leading a shitload of souls and demons from the opposite side of the field. They were too far away to see any details."
"My father," said Shrike. "What was pulling the chariot?"
"Same as his army. Souls and demons."
"One of those souls is my father."
From across the plain, came a thundering war cry. -Spyder and Lulu crawled around the side of the mound.
"What's happening?" asked Shrike.
Another mad shout.
"They're just yelling and tossing shit at each other. Getting the troops worked up."
"The man in the chariot, what does he look like?"
"He's wearing a helmet. I can't see his face. But he's tall and ballsy. He's shouting something at the Hell army and his boys look ready to chew bullets."
"Xero was a fine general. He fought beside his men. Even when he sent them off to slaughter, they loved him."
"I knew a pimp like that back in Houston," said Lulu.
"Something's happening," Spyder said.
At some unseen signal, both armies surged forward. They slammed together with the sound of a crashing jumbo jet. Xero drove his chariot into the middle of the massacre, spearing demons and souls with an enormous longbow that never seemed to lack for arrows. When shafts hit his enemies, they didn't just skewer them, but went clear through, gutting one opponent, then taking out the one behind, as well.
Shrike charged around the mound, past Spyder. "Father!" she screamed. "I'm here! It's Alizarin!"
Spyder grabbed Shrike's shoulder and pulled her back, as much to shut her up as to comfort her.
"I can't stay here. I have to fight," said Shrike.
"No problem," Spyder said. "As of now, we got both sides coming at us."
"Good," said Shrike. She stood, bought up her sword and climbed to the top of the mound.
"Xero Abrasax, the men you betrayed took your head," she shouted, "And I, Alizarin Katya Ryu, the woman you betrayed, is here to take it again!"
"Tell 'im, girl," shouted Lulu. She and Spyder both ran from the mound as the few first few soldiers from Xero's army reached them. Shrike was already in the air, doing a perfect somersault and slashing the throats of three demons as she landed. As Spyder slashed away with the black knife, he saw that Shrike's left arm was streaked with blood. She'd called up some kind of magic before leaping into the fray. It must have been heavy because her own blood splattered on the ground with the demons' as she split them open with her sword.
Spyder slashed his way through the battle, picking up a fallen demon's shield to defend himself as he went. Souls came apart when cut by the Apollyon's blade, but demons seemed to be burned by it, their eyes popping and their skin crisping as if heated from the inside. Lulu was pumping her shotgun to Spyder's right. It didn't seem to kill the demons, but it exploded heads, arms and torsos, leaving them nicely crippled.
Things suddenly went very quiet. Spyder lunged at a hyena-headed demon, but slashed empty air when the thing backed away and knelt down. Shrike and Lulu's opponents mimicked the move. Spyder looked around and saw a slave-drawn chariot rolling slowly toward them. Behind it, Xero's men were mopping up the remnants of the Hell army, most of whom were sprawled on the ground, slaughtered or twitching like broken wind-up toys.
The chariot stopped a few yards from Shrike. "My eyes and ears did not deceive me. It is you, Alizarin," said the man in the golden helmet. "What a charming surprise. Say hello to your father. He makes a fine mule." He reached down to a blank-eyed old man and petted his head the way you might pet a dog.
"I'll kill you, Xero," Shrike said.
"You can't, child. I'm already dead." Xero pulled his helmet off. Spyder was surprised by what he saw. After all of Shrike's vitriol and the terrible dream they'd shared in the desert, he was expecting a brute. What he saw was a refined and strangely handsome face. It was long, with a wide forehead, bright eyes and the kind of nose his grandma would have called "noble." Xero's smile was wide and toothy, giving him a elegantly feral look. It was no mystery why a younger, more naïe Shrike would have fallen hard for the man.
"I'll burn your soul from existence," she said.
"Lucifer said the same thing and he hasn't managed it. What makes you think you can?"
"I hate you more than the devil does."
Xero laughed. "That, I believe," he said. "I'll make you a proposal. Stay here with me in Hell and I'll release your father from his curse. I'm going to win this war soon. I already control the outlands and am slowly strangling Lucifer. When I take his throne, I'll have more use for a bride than a broken-back nag," he said, pulling Shrike's father's matted hair.
"I trusted you once and it destroyed my world. I won't trust you again."
"Please reconsider. For both your sakes. It's a reasonable offer. When I have to make the offer again, the terms will diminish and they'll diminish each time I ask you, until you agree."