“Doing what? Look, we can talk about–”
“Doing what? Are you fucking serious?” I shoved him again, just because I had to get rid of some of the anger, some of the hurt. And he was the closest outlet. To my complete and utter horror, my voice hitched, then cracked. “You try to act like I'm not just another piece of ass...”
“You're not,” he insisted. “I came after you because...”
He started toward me, but I slapped at his hands.
“No.” Shaking my head, I backed away from him, feeling sick inside. “You came after me because you wanted to fuck, because that's what you do when you get pissed.”
“Toni...” His voice trailed away as his gaze landed on my face.
Something he saw there must have spoken volumes because he lapsed into silence.
“You might've thought you meant it, but only because you enjoy sticking your dick inside me. It's lust and that's easy enough to satisfy anywhere. You should know.” I wasn't going to listen to my hormones or my heart anymore. It hurt too much. I had to think of my family. “You seriously think I should be okay with letting you call all the shots on this.”
His eyes flicked away.
Clenching my hand into a fist so I didn't reach for him, I shook my head. I understand where you're coming from. You love your sister, but that doesn't mean you've cornered the market on that emotion. I love my brothers, my parents. You think you'd do anything to protect her? Multiply that by four for my brothers, then make it six because I've got my mom and dad. Now add in Deacon and Franky's families. Children, Ash. My nieces and nephews. You think because she's all you got that you love her more? Or maybe because you’re loaded that your decisions somehow trump mine?” I squared my shoulders. “Guess what? I don’t care about your money. I don’t care if you can buy and sell this block three times over. Respect and decency, compassion, all that means more to me than how much money you’ve got. And you don’t respect me.” The truth of that statement made my chest hurt.
“That’s not true,” he said, shaking his head.
“It is. Otherwise you’d already understand this simple fact: I'd die for any of my family, twice over, and they'd do the same for me, but you want me to sit back and twiddle my thumbs while you decide what's best.” I couldn't even meet his eyes. It hurt too much. “You think you get to make all the calls, because your sister is all that matters.”
The misery inside welled outside of my control now and my voice broke. My eyes were burning and I fought not to cry. Not in front of him. This time when he reached out, I moved away so violently, I almost fell.
“Don't you touch me, dammit! I already told you, you're not doing this to me anymore!”
Slowly, his hand fell to his side.
I needed to get out of here.
“Please, just leave me alone.”
For a moment, he looked like he was going to try and say something else, but in the end, all he did was nod. He shoved his hands into his pockets as I turned away.
I couldn’t fall apart.
Not yet.
Not with my families' lives at stake. My heart could wait.
Chapter 8
Toni
I could still feel his eyes on my back as I closed myself inside the guest room they'd given me last night. My suitcase still lay open, propped on a stand I’d found in the closet. I hadn’t put everything away. On some level, I must have had an idea that this wasn't going to work out.
“How many times are you going to let him hurt you like this?” I whispered.
To be fair, I hadn’t exactly intentionally set out to let him get to me like this at all today. But something about him just brought it out in me.
Further proof that I needed to get out of here.
“You know better than this,” I said, sighing. The sound came out wet and broken, the tears I was fighting edging closer and closer. I didn’t have time for tears. I had to pack. Call a cab. Get out of here without Ash trying to stop me. I didn’t know if he still would, but I had to do it while this hurt was still looming large in my mind. If I waited too long, I might forget how bad the ache was, or get needy and desperate. And stupid.
Everybody had a right to be an idiot once in their lives, I supposed. My brothers had all done it. Vic more than once. And if I started counting relationships in there...Deacon and Franky might've married great women and hadn't dated much before them, but Kory and Vic more than made up for it.
Considering how the past two weeks had gone, I was going to write this off as my idiot time. Between the finals I'd missed and papers I'd turned in late, not to mention the fiasco of missing my class earlier this week, I was sure pretty much everyone who knew me would agree I'd been an idiot.
It didn’t take more than ten minutes to re-pack what little I'd gotten out, and just as I was closing my suitcase, somebody knocked.
I ignored it.
I had no desire to talk to Ash again although he’d probably just barge in anyway. I should've just locked it. A moment later, the door opened and I clenched my jaw as ugly words boiled up my throat. I spun to yell at him, except it was Isadora who slid inside.
She looked at me, then at the suitcase. “You’re leaving,” she said, her voice calm.
“Damn straight.” My voice was husky, but level. Looking into her concerned eyes, I made up my mind. “I’m also quitting. If you need me to work two weeks for official notice, I will. But I’d rather not. I’m sorry.”
Her lips pursed, and she sighed. “This hasn’t exactly been the easiest way to start out a new job, has it?”
“Oh, the job was wonderful.” I hurried to reassure her. I didn't want her thinking any of this was her fault. “I really enjoyed working with you. It's just...” I let my voice trail off.
“I know.” She moved deeper into the room, tugging her pale ivory shawl more closely around her shoulders. “Do you hate him?”
“What...no.” I wished I could though. Turning away from her, I levered my suitcase off the bed. “I’d like to, but no. And it's not all...I'm down to the wire with my classes and I’m barely able to concentrate. I missed an important class a couple days ago because I was so tired, I slept through my alarm. And I missed another class yesterday.”
Looking defeated, she settled down in the chair. “You’ve worked so hard. I can't let you put any of that at risk. But is now the best time to leave? It’s not safe. You know that.”
“I’ll go to a hotel.” I shrugged. I hadn't really thought further ahead than getting away from Ash. “I’ll order in pizza and watch movies. When it’s time for class...” I frowned. “There's campus security. Or I'll talk to my brothers. Vic'll come with me. I'll be okay.”
“Toni, please.” She had a pleading tone in her voice.
I shook my head and hoped she couldn't see the tears in my eyes. “I–I can’t. I can’t be around him, Iz. It's just too hard.”
Chapter 9
Ash
The door closed softly behind my sister, but the sound echoed in my head.
I was still sitting on the stairs, looking at absolutely nothing when somebody came out. My head jerked up and my heart leaped.