“The waiter,” Adelle said. “He's been looking at you all night.”
I frowned at her. Hadn't she learned her lesson? “He's probably still in high school.”
Adelle rolled her eyes, a familiar gesture that once would've gotten an affectionate 'f- you' response from me. Now, it just annoying. It was her blatant disregard of my thoughts and feelings on things that had gotten us to this place.
“He's serving us alcohol,” Adelle pointed out. “That means he has to be at least twenty-one.”
“And?” I raised an eyebrow and took another drink. At this rate, I was going to end up with another bitch of a headache.
“And you should totally ask him out.”
“Adelle,” Mindy spoke softly as she threw me a glance.
“I learned my lesson,” Adelle said. “I won't talk to him for you or try to give him your number. I just think you should find out if he wants to go out with you.”
“I'm not interested in a relationship right now, Adelle,” I said. “Or a fuck and run if that’s going to be your next suggestion.”
“I'm not saying you should move in together,” she persisted. “Just go out for coffee, see where things go.” She jerked her chin behind me. “He's cute.”
I glanced over my shoulder as the waiter walked by. She was right. He was one of those gorgeous golden boys who looked like he'd be home on a California beach. “That's not the point,” I said.
“It is so the point,” she replied. “Ask him for coffee and then take him for a ride.”
She was doing it again, pushing for me to do what she thought I needed to do and not listening when I gave my opinion. I didn't want to be here anymore. I raised my hand as the waiter walked by, signaling for him to come over.
“We're ready for our check,” I said as he approached. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Adelle open her mouth. I didn't know if she was going to protest me ending our night or if she was going interfere with my love life... again, but I didn't want to hear it. Words popped out of my mouth before I realized I was going to say them. “You have pretty eyes.”
Oh shit. Had I really just said that? I didn't even know what the hell color his eyes were? Was that the best line I could think of? It sounded like the kind of cheesy pick-up line men like Steven Danforth used on drunk sorority girls to get them into bed.
“Thank you, Miss Gamble.” The waiter smiled, but the expression on his face made it clear he was uncomfortable. “My boyfriend said you were a nice teacher.”
“Excuse me?”
The waiter shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “My boyfriend. Kyle Jamison. You had him last year for senior English. He was behind a year because of some health problems and you helped him get caught up so he didn't end up getting behind again. He's at Stanford now.”
Right. I remembered the young man. He'd been nineteen and desperate to prove he wasn't stupid. A sweet boy.
I forced a smile. “I'm glad to hear he's doing well. Tell him I said hello, would you?”
“Of course, ma'am.” He glanced at Adelle and Mindy. “I'll be right back with the check.”
I waited until he walked away, purposefully not looking at either of my friends. When he was out of sight, I stood. I felt a bit wobbly, but nothing I couldn't handle. “I think I'll be calling it a night.”
“Wait, Bree–” Adelle began.
“No,” I snapped. “I don't want to hear it.”
“We just want you to be happy,” Mindy interjected.
My mouth flattened into a line. “Right now, a long hot bath and a good night's sleep are what will make me happy.” I didn't wait for either of them to try to make more excuses. I didn't run, but I walked as fast as a graceful exit would allow.
The cool autumn air felt nice against my overheated skin and cleared my mind. I wasn't as drunk as I'd feared and I didn't hail a cab right away. A walk sounded like just what I needed. I was too far from home to walk the entire way, but the direction I had to go was well-lit and still very public at this hour. The physical exertion would be good for me, help me burn off the anger starting to bubble up inside.
Nothing had changed. Adelle and Mindy both still thought it was their responsibility to 'help' me, but neither of them seemed to think that help meant supporting the decisions I made. I wasn't sure why it had taken me this long to realize my friends pitied me, but recent events had made it perfectly clear.
I could see now, as I looked back over the years, how they'd felt that way even before Ronald left me. They'd pitied how I'd only been with one man, as if my decision not to sleep with as many men as possible somehow meant I was broken and needed to be fixed. Maybe not that extreme, but they seem to think I couldn't manage on my own and I needed their help. When the hell did fucking equal being okay?
I scowled. I was tired of this. Tired of people thinking I was weak or couldn't do things on my own. I was tired of everyone acting like I needed to be coddled. The problem was, I wasn't sure I could do this on my own. I didn't want them to treat me like I didn't know what I was doing, but when it came to my personal life, I really didn't know. Tonight had been absolute proof.
I needed help, but I didn't want to get it from Adelle or Mindy. No, I needed it from someone who didn't have a personal stake in it. In me.
And I happened to know just the person.
Chapter 5
I kept telling myself that I'd made the right decision, that this was the best way to get what I wanted. It still didn't keep my palms from sweating or my heart from racing as I walked toward the little café where I'd arranged to meet Cade. The little voice in the back of my head that had been telling me for years how a good girl was supposed to behave had been yelling at me since I'd called him last night and it wasn't getting any quieter.
I paused at the café door and asked myself one last time if I was sure this is what I wanted to do. If I did this, there would be no going back. I would have to own this decision, and since Cade's proposal had included Adelle paying for his services, it meant admitting to my friends what I'd done. There was no way I could afford him on my own, not on my budget, and I wasn't about to go to someone on the street. And as much as it pained me to admit it, I was attracted to Cade, and our night together left me certain I would physically enjoy the experience.
“It's time to take charge,” I whispered to myself. “I'm a grown woman and this is a business transaction.”
My little pep talk didn't ease my nerves, but it did at least quieten that voice and allow me to think.
I stepped inside and scanned the room. I was early, but Cade was earlier. I spotted him sitting at a table next to one of the massive glass windows. He nodded in greeting but didn't come to me. That was fine. I didn't want anyone mistaking this for a date. And by anyone, I meant me. I went to the counter and ordered coffee, but decided to forgo my usual caffeine and asked for decaf. I didn't need anything to make me more jittery. I didn't even actually want the coffee, but I'd feel better if I had something to keep my hands around and sip from to help stop me from fidgeting. I needed to appear in control. I was the one who'd initiated contact, the one who was calling the shots.
I slipped into the seat across from Cade, my best professional expression on my face. I met his gaze but couldn't read anything. His face was casually blank, not in an expressionless way, but rather like someone who was mildly interested in whatever was going on around him.
“You said you wanted to discuss my offer?” He broke the silence and I was grateful for that. I hadn't been sure how to best approach the subject, and it wasn't like either of us wanted to make small talk.
“I do,” I said. Heat rose in my cheeks, but I refused to look down. “I'd like to take you up on it.”