“So you want me to agree to do whatever you tell me, no matter what?”
“You'll have safe words. Red means stop. Yellow means you're uncomfortable and aren't sure if you want to go any further. Yellow's okay, but if you say red, I'll stop and we'll be done. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do, but I'm not going to play either. It wouldn't be fair to either of us.”
That actually sounded reasonable, I thought. Still, the idea of having someone bossing me around sexually made me anxious. “What kinds of things would you be telling me to do?”
“Well, we'd ease into everything, of course,” he said. “But it might be something like me telling you to get down on your knees and put your hands behind your back.” His voice was so low I had to lean closer to hear everything. “I'd tell you to open your mouth and I'd control how fast and how deep you took my cock.”
I swallowed hard at the image his words painted.
“Or we might go to dinner and I'll have you leave your panties at home.”
My hands curled into fists. He reached out and pushed back a curl that had fallen across my face.
“I'll tell you when you can come. When you can touch yourself or me. Every aspect of your pleasure will be mine to control.” He paused, and stroked my cheek again, his finger brushing across my lower lip. And, Aubree… there will be pleasure. More than you've ever dreamed possible.”
My pulse sped up at his words. I had no doubt he could deliver on his promise. The question was, could I do it? Could I give myself over to this man, allow him to take control of every aspect of that part of my life?
My eyes met his and he held my gaze, steady and sure of himself. He hadn't done anything to break my trust, I reminded myself. If anything, coming to see me after what had happened was evidence that he did have a degree of honor.
“All right,” I said, my voice barely over a whisper. “I agree.”
He pushed back from the table and stood abruptly. “Very good. I'll speak to Adelle about the monetary arrangements. Our first date will be tomorrow afternoon.”
“Tomorrow?” I was thrown.
“I assumed you'd want to begin at my next available appointment. Would you prefer to wait?”
Part of me was saying I should wait, that I needed to carefully consider what I was doing. Up to this point, it had all been talk. But tomorrow? Tomorrow meant fantasy was speeding toward a reality I didn’t feel ready for. If I agreed to see him tomorrow, he'd contact Adelle and there wouldn't be anyway to pretend like this exchange had never happened. I knew if I waited, even a week, there was a good chance I'd change my mind. And then… then everything would go back to the way it was.
My insides sank at the thought and I felt tears burn the back of my eyes. The ‘way it was’ sucked. The ‘way it was’ was merely existing. That, more than anything, made me agree.
“Tomorrow afternoon.”
“Great.” Cade held out his hand for me to shake.
I tried to ignore the heat going through me as we touched.
“I'll contact you with the place and time by this evening.”
“Okay.”
“Until tomorrow then.” He released my hand.
Tomorrow, I thought as I watched him walk away. Tomorrow was when everything was going to change. A new chapter. A new life. I was going to be a whole new person. Brave. Adventurous. Alive.
I tried not to think about how much that idea terrified me.
Chapter 6
I didn’t know if it was Adelle's idea or Cade's to go to the Four Seasons Ritz-Carlton rather than the Park Hyatt Hotel where Cade and I had our first tryst, but I appreciated the gesture. I was nervous enough as it was. I didn't need memories of that previous night. The date itself hadn’t been bad. It was actually because it had been so good I didn't want to be reminded of it. I didn't want to think about how I'd felt that night, full of hope and possibilities. Better I stick with what I knew to be true. Cade was going to teach me what I needed to know to make sure I never felt like a fool again. And if I enjoyed myself, then he was just doing his job. Nothing more.
His text had been succinct. The hotel name and room number, with a time. It surprised me a bit that he hadn't included any other instructions, like what I was supposed to wear or how I was supposed to behave. I'd spent the entire night trying to figure out what I was going to wear and had ended up not choosing any of the three outfits I'd picked out. Instead, I opted for simple and professional, a reminder for myself that this was a business transaction. Plain black skirt that reached my knees. White cotton blouse. Fitted black jacket. Sensible pumps. It had been the outfit I'd worn to interview for my position at Legacy.
And the moment Cade opened the door, I knew I'd made a mistake.
He managed not to laugh, but I saw the humor flash across his eyes before he could hide it. He opened the door and motioned for me to come in. I tried not to stare at him as I walked by. He was dressed simply in a pair of gray slacks and a long-sleeved white dress shirt, with the top two buttons undone. His shoes were plain but expensive-looking.
“What's so funny?” I hated the defensive note in my voice, but I couldn't seem to help myself. This wasn't my element. I wasn't a five-star hotel kind of girl.
“You look like a school teacher.”
His comment was virtually identical to what Mindy had said about my clothes when I'd been trying to dress for my date with Steven. I found myself giving the same, automatic answer I'd given her. “I am a school teacher.”
He grinned. “That's good to know for future reference.” I must've looked as puzzled as I felt because he elaborated. “School teacher fantasies are always fun.”
I glared at him. “Let me get this straight. My first lesson is to learn it's okay for you to make fun of me and my occupation, as long as you sexualize it in the next breath?”
His smile hardened and a muscle in his jaw twitched. “Most women coming to a hotel for a sexual liaison would dress in something provocative, something to seduce.”
I folded my arms and raised an eyebrow. “I wasn't aware I had to seduce you.”
He crossed into my personal space in just a few long strides and I gasped. His eyes were burning and I had a feeling I was glimpsing something beneath the calm mask he wore. He didn't touch me, but I could feel the energy vibrating off of him. The scent of him hit me, a rich masculine smell I'd noticed the first time I met him, and my pussy gave a throb.
“Lesson number one, Aubree: yes, men want sex and, yes, we don't really need you to seduce us.” A finger lifted my chin until I was meeting his eyes. “But, if you want to be desired, want to be everything you think you're not, then you need to change the way you look at the world.”
My eyes widened. His voice was even, but there was an authority to it that demanded I listen.
He took a step back, apparently satisfied to have my rapt attention. “It's not about showing skin or flaunting what you have. It's about how you carry yourself.”
Okay, that hadn't been what I expected. I'd been prepared for a lecture about wearing something sexy.
“A woman can be seductive in anything, if she has the right attitude. You didn't dress in this outfit because it makes you feel powerful, respected, or confident in who you are as a person.” Cade circled me and I fought the urge to squirm under the intensity of his gaze. “You chose it because you think it makes you look professional, which you feel automatically demands respect. You hide behind being a teacher, using it as an excuse for why you dress the way you do. It's not that this is your style or how you prefer to dress. You're comfortable in it not because you're comfortable in your own skin, but rather because you prefer to hide it.”