The lobby was crowded. A banner read WELCOME PHARMACEUTICAL SALESPEOPLE! They were a prosperous-looking group standing outside the ballroom where their shindig was to start in a few minutes. I had nothing against any of them personally but their lobbyists were among the most treacherous in the business.
A prominent retired senator from our side now worked for their major lobbying firm. He didn’t want to damage his rep as a progressive so he cheated. If you worked fewer than twenty hours a week lobbying, you didn’t have to register as a lobbyist. He worked eighteen, nineteen hours and still got lots of great sentimental accolades on progressive websites. That’s why I agreed with so much of the anger the anti-government people felt.
I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat in a chair in front of the TV screen. The DVD player the hotel had brought to my room was, thankfully, easy to operate.
The DVD had slid into the maw of the machine and was now posting electronic blotches on the screen. Then the show began. According to the counter, the DVD ran eleven minutes and twenty-eight seconds and then ended.
I watched it all, then clicked off the machine with the remote and just sat there thinking about what I’d seen and what it might have to do with the campaign and what it must have represented to Jim Waters. This DVD would have brought him money and the kind of vengeance he’d waited all his life to have. The outcast would have been the one in power now.
I made the assumption that he’d stolen it. He’d been a bright guy but collecting the kind of material on the DVD would have presented him with an insurmountable problem. Likely this was the work of an oppo researcher or private investigator. Millions and millions of dollars are spent every campaign cycle collecting damaging information on opponents. Both sides do it.
So we were back to stealing. Waters had somehow learned about it and somehow managed to steal it. And somebody took great angry exception to what he’d done. No doubt the object of confronting him had been to get the DVD back. But something had gone wrong. They’d killed Waters but had not gotten what they’d come for. Now I wondered what Waters had been going to do with it.
I took the disk from the machine and put it back in its clear cover. Funny how the presence of an object can change once you know its true nature. Before, it had been just another DVD in a world of a billion DVDs. Not even a barely-dressed twenty-something on a cover. Grubby, utilitarian. But after seeing it, it now had the presence of a highly classified document. The first thing I did with it was hide it in a suit jacket with a special liner. I never wore the jacket but I’d had it altered so that nobody could find its contents without ripping it apart. You’d have to pat the coat down to feel it.
I left the room and the jacket. I didn’t want to haul the disk around. I didn’t know who I was up against. And right now I wanted to go see the very comely Mrs Rusty Burkhart and ask her just why she had been following Jim Waters around. And taking his picture.
You could spot the Rusty Burkhart headquarters from several blocks away owing to the enormous American flag that had been set up on top of the two-story building. Given the weather, they’d probably been doing a lot of taking down and running back up lately.
The headquarters itself was emblazoned with red, white, and blue. Large color posters of Rusty Burkhart in various poses with his rifle covered the downstairs windows. Tinny speakers played a really annoying country-western version of ‘Yankee Doodle Dandy.’ You wouldn’t think Burkhart would have much use for dandies, Yankee or otherwise.
Out front were three vendors: one giving away hot dogs, one giving away ice cream cones, and one giving away an assortment of soft drinks. Right now, even with the goodies being given away, foot traffic was thin and none of the pedestrians seemed interested. The silver Porsche was in a PRIVATE PARKING slot on the far side of the building.
When I walked in, a pretty teenaged girl in a red, white, and blue sweater rushed up to me and said, ‘Just sign this pledge, please. We want to get a list of people who are real Americans.’ Even her dark, curly locks were merry, bouncing away on her head.
I took the pledge card and read it. ‘So unless I believe in every one of these points I’m not a real American.’
Merriment and enthusiasm died in her violet eyes. She really was a beauty. ‘Well, I’d just say that if you don’t believe in these points it’s kind of funny you’d come here. If you’re press you have to make an appointment first.’
‘I’m not press.’
Confusion and anger spoiled her prettiness. She scorned me silently then said, ‘Mrs Hawthorne, would you come over here, please?’ Her voice had gone up a notch. She sounded desperate.
Mrs Hawthorne was a bulky woman of maybe fifty, dressed in an expensive and flattering gray tweed suit. She had her smile all ready for me by the time she reached us.
‘Hello there,’ she said to me. To the girl she said: ‘How may I help you, Melanie?’
I wondered if she’d ever been a flight attendant. Her words had that syrupy, grating falsity.
Melanie nodded to me the way she would to a pile of dung. ‘He doesn’t want to sign our pledge card. The one about being an American.’
Mrs Hawthorne made the flight attendant schmooze even more syrupy. I could imagine what she was really thinking: Everything’s fine. You’re embarrassing me and headquarters, Melanie. How many fucking times do I have to tell you
NOT EVERYBODY HAS TO SIGN THE FUCKING CARD?
What she said, of course, was, ‘Melanie. Now we’ve talked about this,’ smiling at me as she spoke. ‘Signing the card is optional. Some people don’t like to sign anything.’
‘Anybody who won’t sign this card isn’t a real American. Mr Burkhart said that himself.’
Let me get my hands around your throat, you little bitch, Mrs Hawthorne had to be thinking. Her face was tight now and her eyes blazed. She was probably going to reassign the ardent Melanie to making sure that all the fax machines and printers had plenty of paper.
‘Well, he didn’t put it exactly like that, Melanie. I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you go and see if Phil needs any help with the mail?’
‘I don’t like Phil. He never pays attention when we stand for the national anthem.’
Mrs Hawthorne and I would never become fast friends but at the moment I felt sorry for her. Every campaign of either stripe has volunteers who can’t be controlled. Windows get smashed at headquarters; door-to-door canvassing gets turned into arguments with citizens who made the mistake of opening the door; workers say stupid things in TV interviews. There are ops who encourage this. More of them on the other side by far but we have a few of our own. Mrs Hawthorne struck me as a pro at what she was doing. I admired her craft if not her candidate.
‘I’ll talk to Phil about that. Now why don’t you go help him, all right?’
Melanie pointed to me. ‘Be careful, Mrs Hawthorne. I think he’s a reporter trying to sneak in here.’ She stormed off.
‘I’m sorry about all this, Mr-’
‘Ketchum. Michael Ketchum.’
‘I’m sorry about this, Mr Ketchum. Once in a while our volunteers get a little too enthusiastic. Melanie has a tendency to go overboard.’ She raised a hand upon which had been bestowed a wedding ring that would easily pay for a year’s tuition at an Ivy League college. She indicated with a sweep of her hand how busy and industrious everybody was. And they were. I counted seventeen people working the phones, reminding people of why they should vote Burkhart and making sure that they planned to vote. And offering rides if needed. This was the ground war and it had damned well better be good. This one looked all too good. ‘Did you want some information on Mr Burkhart?’ The flight attendant smile. She was heavyset but the pleasant face had kept its charm. ‘Some people still haven’t made up their minds. So they stop in to pick up brochures. They take them home and study them with their spouses. We believe that if you put us alongside our opponent we’ll look very good. Mr Burkhart was never a playboy, thank goodness.’