“I will.” I turn to Miles and Graham. “You guys can go. I’ll just make sure Seth’s okay. Brady will drive me home.”
“Don’t take too long,” Miles says. “Mom won’t overlook you staying out all night.”
I shrug. “Sometimes I sleep over at Bea’s after movie night.”
“I’m guessing you call her, though,” Graham points out.
Rather than admit he’s right, I roll my eyes and head for Seth’s house. “I can handle Mom.”
No one answers me back, and when I turn around they’re already a speck in the dawn sky. Carlos trudges to his house as I knock softly on Seth’s door. I figure that’ll be enough for Hector to hear. When it opens, I’m met with a face that surprises me.
It’s Seth’s dad, wearing only pajama pants and staring at me with a face that screams drunk. This is maybe the fifth time I’ve seen him since I met his sons. The first time he walked in while Seth and I were making out in the living room—super great first impression. Not that I feel the need to get his approval, but it makes an already awkward situation that much worse.
“Mr. Mitchell,” I say, trying to suppress my discomfort. “You’re up early.”
“Never went to bed.” He reeks of alcohol, and he scratches at the blond scruff on his face. “Seth’s in his room with the others.”
“Okay.”
He leaves the door open for me and walks away. It still blows my mind how well he can walk though I’ve only seen him high and drunk. Seth told me he has perfect balance. So even when he’s on a construction site it’s hard for people to tell how smashed he is, because he can jump from beam to beam and land as gracefully as a cat.
“Seems like you guys had quite the party tonight,” Seth’s dad says as I follow him down the hall.
I gulp. “Something like that.”
“Things sure have gotten interesting for my boys since you showed up.” He shuts his bedroom door, leaving me to ponder what that’s supposed to mean. Then again, it could just be the ramblings of a drunk man.
I open Seth’s door without knocking. Hector sits at the desk, trying to look cool though I can tell he’s worried about his best friend. Bea is at the edge of the bed, and Brady takes up most of the floor. They all turn to me when I enter.
“How is he?” I ask.
Brady cringes. “He’s out.”
I nod, knowing this means way more than Bea and Hector can understand. Hours have passed without Seth waking up. As worried as I was when it happened, that doesn’t compare to now. Just how long can he sleep before we really do have to take him to a hospital?
“He better have just tweaked his knee,” Hector grumbles. “If it’s worse, there goes our soccer season.”
Bea rolls her eyes. “Nice way to show you care, bro.”
Hector holds up his hands. “What do you want me to do? Burst into tears?”
“Just don’t be a—”
Seth lets out a loud groan, and his hands go straight to his head. Hector stands, his eyes filled with panic as he puts his hand on Bea’s shoulder. “We better get outta here. He’s gonna be pissed at you for waking him up.”
Bea stands. “Okay.”
Brady ushers Bea and Hector out while Seth continues to moan. Just as Brady’s about to leave, he leans down to whisper, “Take care of him while I get some meds.”
“Of course.” I shut the door behind Brady and rush to Seth, who’s curled into a ball and buried in blankets. He jumps when I touch him, as if he didn’t know there was anyone here. Maybe he didn’t, because when his eyes meet mine they’re filled with fear and pain.
“W-who are you?” he whispers.
“It’s me,” I say as softly as I can.
He still winces at my voice. “I…you…you’re a skeleton.”
My eyes go wide. I don’t want to make him talk more, but I’m pretty sure he’s saying that he’s seeing through layers he doesn’t want to see through. If I’m a skeleton, this whole room must look crazy to him. He might not even be able to block it with his eyelids.
“It hurts so much,” Seth says through gritted teeth.
“Shh.” I lie next to him and put my hands on his head. My fingers make little circles over and over, but this time it doesn’t seem to help. Seth keeps wincing and cringing like every move he makes hurts.
Brady finally comes back with water and two large, white pills. “Get him to take these.”
I stand, taking the pills and glass from him. “What are they?”
Brady looks to the side. “You don’t wanna know, Fi. But trust me, they’ll help.”
He doesn’t have to say more—I’ve heard them talk plenty about their dad’s love of pain meds. These must be from his stash. His illegal stash. As much as I don’t want to give these to Seth, he actually does need them. “Here, Seth. Can you sit up to drink a little?”
Seth shakes his head. “I’m not taking those. Give them back to Dad.”
“But…” I look to Brady, unsure of what to do. Arguing right now seems majorly counterproductive.
Seth holds out his hand. “Just…stay…with me.”
I sigh, wishing he wasn’t so stubborn, wanting him to feel better so I could tell him that. But I set the glass and pills on his desk and crawl into his bed. Seth wraps his arms around me tightly, his head nestled into the crook of my neck. His breaths are ragged from pain, and I hold him as close as I dare.
Brady leaves without another word, and it’s just me and Seth. Even though there’s no chance anything will happen, I’m still very aware that this is the first time I’ve been in Seth’s bed like this. We’ve mostly kept to couches or secluded places at school, and it was hard enough to control myself there. Here under his covers, surrounded by him, he’s all I can think about.
I watch him clench his jaw, listen to the sharp gasps he takes, rub his temples in hopes that it’ll eventually help. If only I could take away the pain. Kissing his forehead, I wonder how I can want someone so much and yet be so chicken about going further.
If I could just see myself…that would fix everything.
Chapter 13
Next thing I know, someone is nudging me out of a deep sleep. I peek one eye open. The room is bright and I squint, but I saw enough to know that I’m still right next to Seth in his bed.
“Are you okay?” I ask as I force myself to adjust to the sun seeping through the window.
“Still hurts a little. I can control it again, though.” Seth looks like he’s been through hell, though he still manages a smile. “But if this is how I get to wake up after, I think it might have been worth it.”
I shove him, though I bite back a laugh. “That’s not funny.”
“No, it’s awesome.” He puts his lips to my neck, but instead of kissing it he gives me a raspberry. I yelp and giggle, which makes him cringe. He puts one hand to his head. “Okay, maybe I’m not as recovered as I thought.”
I frown. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. This used to happen when I was a kid if I got carried away—I’d lose control pretty often.” He lies back and stares at the ceiling. “There was just so much to see, and I couldn’t believe I was actually able to see it. I try so hard not to use it…I had no idea I could go that far.”
Part of me is relieved to hear it had nothing to do with my own recklessness. Of course it didn’t. Seth isn’t like that. “Maybe you can see more than we know, but that was scary for me and Brady. We didn’t even know if you’d wake up again.”
When he looks at me, I know he can see the worry on my face. As much as I want to hide my feelings from him at times, right now I’m glad he can tell how upset I am. His eyes are soft as he puts his hand on my cheek. “I’m sorry.”
“I know, and I’m sorry for getting mad at you about looking.” I put my hand over his, wanting to stay here all day. “Just what did you see down there?”