“How’d that go, kid?” Pauline wanted to know. “You feelin’ okay, now that you’ve taken the plunge and said sayonara to the Big Apple?”
Sera slung her arm across her aunt’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze as they piloted the cart leisurely through the refrigerated section, feeling a wave of affection for the woman who had raised her. “I’m fine, Aunt Paulie. Excited actually. And I got a lot accomplished. I’m really looking forward to getting set up here.”
It was true. Sure, she’d still have some logistics to work out back East, but she’d been lucky—her assistant Carrie had offered to take over the lease on her loft, and wanted to carry on the catering business on her own. In fact, Carrie had been quite keen to grab Sera’s rent-stabilized apartment, claiming that since the majority of the baking had been done on the premises, it just made sense to move in. It might have been a little Single White Female for Sera if she hadn’t been so comfortable with Carrie—and if she’d cared more about what she was leaving behind. Since Sera had stopped taking commissions for her signature cakes and confections, and had been subsisting on selling more standard dessert fare to local eateries, it hadn’t been too much of a hardship handing over the reins.
Indeed, she’d found herself eager to box up her belongings and get out of Dodge while the getting was good. The minute she’d arrived back at her Tribeca apartment, everything from the heaping trash bags piled outside the building oozing noxious sludge to the jackhammering of the condo complex racing upward to blot out her last iota of natural light had assaulted her senses in a way they never used to. Or perhaps she’d just never realized her nerves were slowly but constantly being gnawed at by New York’s frenetic pace, like rats nesting in her neural wiring. She’d immediately started looking forward to her next whiff of dry desert air. The only hard part had been saying her good-byes to Margaret and the rest of her fellowship friends. Sera wasn’t too broken up over it, though—these were friends she knew she’d keep for life, and distance, while it would bring the pang of separation, could do no lasting damage to the affection they had for one another.
As for the rest, she didn’t think she’d start missing life back East anytime soon.
Not when there was Santa Fe waiting for her. The spaciousness here was doing something unexpected to her consciousness. Sera could feel an opening, a widening crack in her defenses, as if her chest were expanding and warm sunlight was pouring in. After a year of slow, painful recovery, clawing her way back from the brink and getting to the point where she did a fair imitation of a human most days, it felt like she was finally ready to blossom into something more. “A bridge back to life,” was what AA had promised, and Serafina Wilde was ready to start living.
Smiling, Sera realized she was happier than she’d been in a long time. Still, she found it strange that Pauline seemed nearly as chipper, especially after spending a lonely week packing up her life partner’s personal items to make room for Sera’s stuff. The two older women hadn’t, to Sera’s astonishment, actually been living together despite their three-year relationship, but Hortencia had had plenty of stuff over at Pauline’s. Despite Sera’s offers to be there to help and support her, Pauline had resolved to do the work alone, which Sera found odd given her desperate plea for Sera to fly out here only a week earlier. Before she’d left, she’d squeezed a promise out of a reluctant Pauline to think about what she wanted to do to commemorate her life with Hortencia. But if she’d been entertaining any such serious thoughts over the past week, it wasn’t evident from either her demeanor or her conversation. Her aunt seemed nearly as jaunty and animated as she’d ever been. Sera took a deep breath. It was time to collect on that promise and make her aunt face the music.
“Um, Pauline, I don’t want to press, but I have to ask. Have you given any more thought yet to how you’d like to memorialize Hortencia?”
Pauline looked chagrined. At first Sera thought it was either distress over her question or the price of the $4 yogurt she held in her hand. However, Pauline was transfixed neither by the sticker on the container nor Sera’s query, but by something over Sera’s shoulder.
“Yes, Pauline,” an acerbic voice said. “How exactly were you planning to memorialize me?”
Sera spun around.
A fluffy, plump little grandmother type wearing a beige canvas fisherman’s cap, sensible trousers, and a cozy crocheted vest over her Coldwater Creek blouse was leaning with her elbows braced on the bar of her shopping cart, not ten feet away. A pair of shearling-lined Merrell demi-clogs graced her tidy feet, and her hair was an appealingly short halo of white cotton candy under her hat. The only jarring element was the total lack of twinkle in Grandma’s chocolate brown eyes.
“Serafina Wilde, I presume?” the woman asked when Pauline just stood there, stock-still and uncharacteristically speechless.
Sera suddenly knew who she was. Pauline’s discomfited expression, her odd behavior since Sera had come out to Santa Fe, her difficulty speaking of her life partner in the past tense…
“Hortencia?” she asked incredulously. “Are you Hortencia Alvarez?” Her gaze whipped back and forth between the two older ladies.
“In the flesh, if Pauline hasn’t got me dead and buried already,” said Hortencia, shooting a pointed glance at Pauline.
And Pauline Wilde actually blushed. Sera could hardly credit it, having never witnessed her aunt embarrassed in the nearly three decades she’d known her, but yes, her weathered cheeks went distinctly ruddy, even as her jaw worked nervously and her eyes darted around for escape.
“Pauline…” she asked. “What’s going on here? You said…”
The indomitable feminist within resurfaced. “Well, she’s dead to me, and that’s what counts.” Pauline sniffed, crossing her arms under her braless breasts. She refused to look Hortencia in the eye. For that matter, she wasn’t exactly meeting her niece’s gaze either.
“But you said… you asked me to come out here because…,” Sera sputtered. “I mean, you said you were devastated and you needed my help…”
“I did need your help, kiddo,” Pauline muttered. “And I was pretty broken up after Horsey and I split up. I didn’t lie—not about that part anyway.”
Sera didn’t know how to respond to that kind of logic. But Hortencia did.
Hortencia straightened, placing her fists on her comfortable hips. It might have been Sera’s imagination, but she thought the woman’s eyes had softened just a teensy bit at Pauline’s confession of distress. “You, Pauline Wilde, are una mujer loca,” she scolded. “I can’t believe you told your niece I was dead! For heaven’s sake, my yarn store’s just two streets up from yours. We were sure to run into each other sooner or later. What were you thinking? Just because I wouldn’t marry you…” She trailed off, shaking her head and pursing her withered lips. But Sera thought there was a hint of a smile there.
Her mind reeled. Pauline, married? Her independent, free love–espousing aunt had never shown the slightest inclination to be tied down—at least in a non-S&M sense. Committing to just one person—sexually or emotionally—had never been her style, despite how she’d seemed to mellow since she’d met Hortencia. Moreover, the actual institution of marriage, she’d argued, was an antiquated tradition that no liberated woman needed in this day and age. In fact, she’d hectored Sera against its perils repeatedly over the years—not that Sera had been in any danger of being asked. Watching Pauline’s expression as she tried to deflect her erstwhile lover’s ire, it was obvious to Serafina that her aunt had finally encountered The One. Politics and belief systems be damned. Pauline Wilde was a woman head over heels in love.