What, then, of him and Sour? They’d completed their term of service, mustered out. Yet civilian life hadn’t panned out as they’d wished. To tell the truth, he hadn’t felt comfortable sitting around with nothing to do. And this lot was badly in need of someone to hold their hands.
Besides, if what the Enchantress claimed was true, Yusen might be up for some kind of commendation and promotion. He might make sub-Fist in Seven Cities. Cadre mage to a sub-Fist in Aren would be a pretty soft posting.
And he had to admit that he wouldn’t mind getting to know Burastan better. There was something there, he was sure. Unless it was all just wishful thinking …
A gathering deep jade glow interrupted his consideration of strong shapely limbs. He glanced over, frowning, and was surprised to see a wavering image coming into existence here with him.
‘Celeste? That you?’ he asked, astonished.
The image solidified into the familiar shape of the girl and she smiled. ‘Greetings, Murken Warrow.’
‘Celeste? I thought you were gone. You know, melding or uniting, or whichever.’
‘Yes. I am. This is merely one last fading remnant left behind to say goodbye.’
‘Ah. I see. Well … thank you. You sound like you met with success, or satisfaction, or whatever.’
‘Yes. We are all gone now. All my brothers and sisters. Far to the west the Shattered God has been sent onward — allowed to translate into another existence — however you wish to put it. As have I.’
Murk’s brows rose in wonder. Really? Something happening in the west? ‘Well, as I said before, I wish you luck with Ardata.’
The girl tilted her head, puzzled. ‘Ardata?’
‘Yeah. You know — this entity you chose.’
The girl laughed, a hand going to her mouth. ‘Oh, Murk! Not her. She is as nothing next to that which I have reached out to. She would be a trickling stream compared to the ocean I have found here.’
Murk stared, his brows furrowed. An ocean? Here? Whatever could she mean? ‘I’m sorry … I don’t …’
Celeste extended her arms outwards as if to encompass their entire surroundings. ‘I’m sorry, I keep forgetting your human biases and preconceptions. I speak not of any one individual being as you would know it, Murk. I speak of all this. Everything about us. I speak of what you name Himatan itself.’
Murk’s brows now rose in earnest. ‘Oh. Oh … That’s … amazing, Celeste.’
She was nodding her agreement. ‘Amazing, yes. Fascinating. Infinitely absorbing. The complexity. The interrelationships. It will perhaps take a millennium just to fully comprehend one part of it. And in its own way it is aware, Murken. It responds. It takes steps to assure its continued existence. It is an entity in those regards — no different from any lower-order being, such as yourself.’
Lower-order being? ‘Ah, well, I see. I think. Then, you are not gone? Not faded away?’
A soft smile answered that question. ‘No, Murken. Thank you for your concern. No. It was your advice that saved me. Your encouragement gave me the strength to take that irreversible step before the greater part of myself was sent onward — towards dissipation, or who knows what. I remain now as part of that which you name Himatan. Thanks to you.’ She clasped her hands before her and bowed. ‘So, farewell, Murken Warrow. May you find acceptance and belonging, as I have.’
Murk bowed his head in answer as Celeste’s presence faded from view.
He returned his gaze to the infinite night sky. Acceptance and belonging. Some, he knew, would sneer at such sentiment. Yet humans were social beings. Perhaps it was these simple qualities that everyone sought, though they masked them with other, loftier sounding names: ambition, domination or glory.
Acceptance and belonging. He decided then that he’d tag along with Yusen’s crew. They could use a cadre mage. And if he was going, chances were Sour would follow. He’s come along, that fellow. Shown some real potential. He just better not start getting any ideas about who’s in charge, that’s all.
*
The Crimson Guard camped together, Avowed and Disavowed — though Disavowed no longer. From where she sat on a root Shimmer scanned the crowd. Crowd. Who would have thought I could ever use that word again regarding the Avowed? Yet crowd it seemed to her: she had become used to gatherings of mere handfuls.
For some, she knew, this change in circumstances would be harder than for others. Her gaze found fierce Mara sitting aside, alone, hugging herself. She had given much to Skinner, Shimmer knew. And now he was gone. Though she knew she would see him again among the Brethren, should he ever choose to come to the living. She scanned the group and found the broad towering figure of Petal sitting at one fire. She caught his gaze and directed it to Mara. He pursed his heavy lips thoughtfully, then rose, smoothed his torn and frayed robes down his wide front, and crossed to sit next to her.
She now searched for K’azz. She saw him nowhere and she threw herself to her feet. Damn the fool! The very night he ought to be among us! Our first evening together. Where is he? I have a few words for him! She set off to track him down.
After searching among the woods she found him standing alone, arms crossed, peering up at the clear night sky. It was a cold night and she’d been shivering. Somewhere, a hunting cat roared.
‘K’azz!’ she called sharply.
He turned, looking rather bemused. ‘Yes? You are upset?’
‘Yes, I’m upset! Here you are off alone. You should be with us. You should be reassuring everyone with your presence.’
He turned away, his gaze falling. ‘Shimmer, I am not blind. My presence is far from reassuring. I can see that I make everyone uncomfortable … even you. And I understand.’
Oh, K’azz!
She spoke, surprising herself with the strength of the emotion in her voice: ‘You are still our commander. We still follow. We still need you.’ She closed one hesitant step. ‘K’azz … something is worrying you. Something you know. Some secret. What is it? Tell me. Share it. We will all carry it with you.’
For some reason, that only made him flinch as if pained. He would not meet her entreating gaze. ‘No. It is something I suspect … nothing more. It mustn’t be spoken of. Not yet.’
‘But in Assail …’
He let out a long tormented breath. ‘Yes. Assail. Of all places. Assail.’
‘I heard the Enchantress. The answer lies there.’
‘If it can be found, yes.’
‘I heard Cowl. He claims to know.’
K’azz gave a sad shake of his head. ‘Shimmer … I doubt the man’s sanity. He thinks he knows. And perhaps he has grasped some strange idea — the gods alone know what it might be.’
She crossed her arms, raised her gaze to the stars. At least he is talking now. Perhaps I may persuade him to return. She indicated the night sky. ‘Whenever I look up I feel so alone and so small. I like the idea of each light up there being a campfire. It makes me feel … part of a tribe.’
‘You are part of a tribe, Shimmer,’ he answered.
She slid her eyes aside to see him also peering up. ‘Yes. Our tribe. The Guard. Will you not rejoin it?’
The muscles on his jaw bunched as he clamped his teeth. He dropped his gaze to her. ‘A good try, Shimmer.’
‘Not a try. A timely reminder.’ She motioned to the camp. ‘Now, return with me. Yes?’ Now or never, Shimmer lass. She took a step, inviting him to fall in with her. ‘You have seen Petal, yes?’ She glanced back to him expectantly.