"That is true," I said.
"Have me," she begged, suddenly. "Touch me. Caress me. Hold me. Take me!"
"But you are a Waniyanpi female," I said, "above sex. That has been decided by your masters."
"I am a slave," she said. "I need the touch of a man."
"But you have been rescued from sex," I said. "You have been accorded honor and dignity. You have been make identical to a certain form of male. That is supposed to be what you want. You are now, your nature betrayed and nullified, supposed to be happy and fulfilled."
"I am miserable," she wept.
"Interesting," I said.
"I am a woman," she said. "I need attention as a woman. Comfort me. Hold me. Be kind to me."
I did not speak.
"Whip me, beat me, if you wish," she said, "but pay attention to me as a woman. I am a woman. Let me, I beg you, be a woman."
"That is not permitted, as I understand it," I said, "to the Waniyanpi female."
"I have been put with the Waniyanpi," she said. "It was my punishment. But I am not one of them. Take pity on me. Have mercy on me. I am not truly a Waniyanpi female. I am a woman. I have the feelings of a woman. I want the sensations of a woman. I need the sensations of a woman. Have mercy on me, Master!"
"You do not now seem to be a proud agent of Kurii," I said.
"I am no longer an agent of Kurii," she said. "I am now only a female slave."
"And a pleading slave, it seems." I said.
"Yes," she said, "I am now only a pleading female slave."
I did not speak.
"I know, now," she said, "that I am not garbed attractively and that a sack has been put over my head but underneath these things I am a woman, with a woman's needs and desires. That cannot be concealed by all the lies and the corse, cruel cloth in the world. No shameful or pernicious raiment, no imposed masking of the features, no falsity of the tongue or mind can change what I am, a woman."
I did not speak.
"I strive to interest you," she said.
"It would not be good for me to accede to your request," I said. She must, after all, return to the compound of the Waniyanpi.
"You saw me stripped and in a yoke," she said, "tied to the axle of a wagon."
"Yes," I said.
"Am I not attractive?" she asked.
"You are," I said.
"And do you not find me attractive?" she asked.
"Yes," I said.
"Have me," she said.
"It would not be wise," I said. I did not think it would be good for her.
"I beg to be put to your service, Master," she said.
"And if you were," I asked, "what would you fear?"
"Only that I might not please you sufficiently," she said.
"The answer is suitable," I said.
"Touch me, have me," she begged.
I did not respond to her.
"You are still here, are you not?" she asked, frightened, kneeling, reaching out. "You have not left me?"
"No," I said. "I am here."
"I have chewed sip root," she said, plaintively. "We women from the compound, dragging the travois, were all made to do that, to protect us should we be taken and raped by our masters."
"I understand," I said.
"You have nothing to fear," she said.
"I understand," I said. It would be difficult to explain to her, I conjectured, that my concern in this matter was not for myself, but for her. The memory of a man's touch, of any man's touch, I thought, would be a cruel souvenir for her to carry back to the compound. I did not think that memory would make the bleakness and loneliness of the compound easier to bear. It is better, perhaps, for one who must live on porridge never to know the taste of meat and wine. If one must live with the Waniyanpi, perhaps it is best to be of the Waniyanpi. It is, at any rate, safer. Sanity can be perilous in a country of lunatics.
"Please," she begged. "Touch me, hold me, let me know that men still truly exist."
"You surely, as a former free woman," I said, "have known the touch of men, their arms."
"But only on my own terms," she said, "never as what I am now, a slave."
"I see," I said. To be sure, perhaps it is only the female slave, the woman at the total mercy of a master, who can know, truly, what it is to be in the arms of a man, what it is, truly, helplessly, to feel their touch.
"Please," she said.
"You must be returned to the Waniyanpi," I said.
"Have me," she begged. "I will serve you even as a slave."
"What did you say?" I demanded.
"I will serve you even as a slave," she whispered timidly.
I seized her, cruelly, by the upper arms. I shook her once, viciously. "Oh!" she cried, in misery.
"You are a slave," I told her. I then shook her again, and flung her, viciously, to the dirt.
"Yes, Master!" she said, in the hood. "Yes, Master!"
"You are no longer a proud free woman," I told her. "You are now a slave, and only a slave! If you are used, of course, you will be used as the mere beast, and slave, you are!"
"Yes, Master!" she whimpered.
I looked down at her, angrily. Arrogance, even inadvertent arrogance, in a slave is not accepted. She lay on her side, in the dirt, her head in the hood. The gray dress had come up now, high on her right thigh. Her leg was beautiful. I clenched my fists, that I might not subject the frightened, lovely imbounded beast to the treatment suitable to her condition.
"Let me be a woman," she begged. "Let me be a woman!"
I considered the Waniyanpi. "It is against the law," I said.
I then lifted her up and threw her, she helpless and hooded, over my shoulder.
"I hate you, I hate you," she wept. "I hate you!"
I then carried her back to the shelter and put her, again, with her sisters, her harness mates, other females of the Waniyanpi.
Chapter 15
HCI'S TRICK
"Behold!" said Hci. "In good faith do I greet you! In the time of the festivals, now, let us make good feelings between us."
"Greetings," said Canka, standing before his lodge.
Behind Hci were two of his fellows, of the Sleen Soldiers. One held a string of twenty kaiila.
"Denonstrating the warmth that is in my heart for you," said Hci, "I give you twenty kaiila!" He motioned for the fellow with the kaiila to come forward.
"Do not!" said Canka.
"They are yours!" cried Hci, with an expansive wave of his hand.
"I do not have twenty kaiila," said Canka. "I am not the son of a chief."
"You need not return me kaiila," said Hci, concernedly. "You will not lose honor, as yu know, if you return to me, in magnanimous reciprocity, something of comparable value."
"But what might I have of comparable value?" protested Canka, angrily. It seemed clear that he was to be outdone in the giving of gifts, in the display of generosity. Technically, of couse, Hci should not have offered gifts to Canka of a value which Canka could not repay. Such might shame or embarrass the recipient.
"Her," said Hci, pointing to Winyela, standing near the lodge entrance. "I will take her!"
Winyela turned white.
"No!" cried Canka. "I will not give her up! She is mine!"
"I have given you a gift of great value," said Hci, as though puzzled. "You will give me nothing in return?"
"You may not have her!" said Canka.
"Very well, my friend," said Hci. He looked about at his fellows, and the others, too, of which there were now several, about. He smiled broadly. "The kaiila, however, having been given, are yours. I do not regret my generosity. I regret only that yuo have taken so surly an attitude in this matter."
One of the Sleen Soldiers with Hci slapped his thigh with amusement. There was laughter, too, from others gathered about. More red savages, as if from nowhere, the word of Hic's visit to the lodge of Canka apparently having rapidly spread, appeared. There was now a crowd in front of the lodge.