Harry shook his head. ‘Nothing yet,’ he said. Had Joe spent the night with a known paedophile? What state would he be in, even if he was alive? No, he simply couldn’t start thinking like that.
Alice and Millie had appeared directly in front of him. Hovering at their side was Jenny Pickup.
‘How are you holding up, Alice?’ asked Sinclair, in a voice that surprised Harry with its gentleness. Alice looked up at the tall man as though he’d spoken to her in a foreign language.
‘Has anyone seen Gareth and Tom?’ she asked.
‘They were on Lower Bank Road about half an hour ago,’ said Gillian, stepping closer. ‘They went on to the old railway line with me and a few others. We wanted to check the Collingway tunnel.’
‘They would have come back when the helicopter began its search, though,’ said Tobias. ‘Alice, I wish you’d come back to our house and rest. It’s too cold for the little one to be out.’
‘You should, Alice,’ said Jenny, taking a step closer to her grandfather. ‘Or at least leave Millie there. Dad’s housekeeper will keep an eye on her. You can’t carry her round on your back all day.’
Alice’s eyes were drifting. ‘Thank you,’ she said, to the nearby lamppost. ‘I need to keep her with me. I have to find Gareth now.’
She turned away. More and more people were coming out of the church now. The search was back on.
‘I’m sorry, I’m afraid there’s nothing else to try.’
Wondering how she was going to find the energy to get out of her chair, Evi nodded her head. ‘I know,’ she admitted.
An hour after John Warrington had agreed to help her search for the mysterious Ebba, they’d been forced to give up. They’d run every search through patient records that they’d been able to think of. Only the records of the last thirty years had been computerized, but Warrington had gone into the practice basement and found several boxes of older records. They’d gone back forty years, knowing the chances of Ebba being older than that were almost non-existent, but although they’d found several people suffering from the condition, all had died. In thirty-four years, no one with congenital hypothyroidism, not even anyone with a goitre, had been registered as a patient. They’d racked their brains trying to think of similar conditions and had run several other searches. At last, they’d been compelled to give up.
‘How sure are you that she lives in this area?’ asked Warrington.
‘She must do,’ said Evi. ‘Someone with that condition couldn’t drive.’
‘I wouldn’t have thought so,’ agreed the GP.
‘How can someone like that slip so completely off the grid?’ asked Evi, almost trembling with frustration. ‘Why wasn’t she diagnosed as a baby? Why wasn’t she treated? And why, given all her medical needs, do the local doctors know nothing about her?’
Warrington didn’t reply and Evi pushed herself to her feet. ‘I’ve taken up enough of your time,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry you missed your game.’
‘I’ll phone our receptionists at home,’ the doctor offered. ‘And a couple who’ve since retired. It’s possible they can remember something, think of something. If anything comes up, I’ll let you know.’
‘I’m sinking, Harry,’ said Alice. They’d got as far as the corner of the churchyard and then Alice stumbled. He’d had to reach out to catch her, to stop her and Millie from tumbling to the ground.
‘You’re doing incredibly well,’ said Harry. He put an arm round her shoulders and led her to the wall. Her breathing was too fast. ‘You’re calm, you’re functioning and you’re taking care of your other two children,’ he went on. ‘I can’t imagine what strength that takes.’
‘It’s the worst feeling in the world,’ said Alice. ‘Not knowing where your child is. Nobody can feel like this and stay sane.’
‘You can,’ said Harry, although the truth was he wasn’t sure. He really didn’t like the way Alice seemed unable to focus on anything.
‘I’ll tell you what it’s like,’ she went on, leaning so close to him it felt uncomfortable. ‘It’s like Joe never really existed, that I just imagined him. And now, I really need to see Tom and Gareth because I’ve got this feeling that they’ve gone too. Then I’ll look round and Millie will have disappeared. It’s like someone’s rubbing us out, bit by bit.’
‘Millie is asleep on your shoulder,’ Harry said quickly, realizing that if he stopped talking he might start sobbing. ‘Tom and Gareth are close by, looking for Joe. Alice, look at me.’
She raised her head. He thought perhaps he could have fallen in love with those pale turquoise eyes, had he not already…‘We will find Joe,’ he said. ‘Some time very soon, we’ll find him. I wish I could promise you we’ll find him safe and well, but you know I can’t do that. But one way or another, we will find him. You’ll be able to see clearly again, you’ll be able to grieve, if you have to, and you’ll be able to move on. You’ll never be alone.’
‘Harry, I…’ Turquoise eyes filling with tears. A second pair was staring at him. Millie had woken and was looking at Harry as though she understood every word.
‘You have incredible strength,’ he said. ‘Your family will survive because they have you. You’re its heart. You’re its soul.’
‘I can see why you became a priest,’ said Alice, reaching out to touch his arm. ‘But it isn’t real, is it?’
He thought perhaps the tears were in his eyes, after all. ‘What do you mean?’ he asked, although he knew.
‘There’s no faith shoring you up right now,’ said Alice. ‘No direct line to the man upstairs. It’s just you, isn’t it?’
‘Come on,’ said Harry. ‘Let’s get you both inside.’
82
EVI WAS IN HEPTONCLOUGH. THE STREETS WERE QUIET again. She pulled her car up to the kerb and got out. If she’d ever been more tired in her life before, she really couldn’t remember. She crossed the pavement and walked up the short path to the terraced house. As she stood on the doorstep waiting, something white floated down and settled on her coat sleeve. The snow that had been predicted all day had arrived.
‘I can’t get an answer from Gillian’s flat,’ she said, when the door opened. ‘I’m worried about her.’
Gwen Bannister sighed. ‘Come in, love,’ she said. ‘You look fit to drop.’
Evi followed Gwen along the floral-patterned hall carpet and into a small living room. The carpet was worn in places, the room hadn’t been decorated in a long time. A television in the corner of the room was switched on.
‘Have you seen her today?’ asked Evi, glancing at the television, wondering if Gwen would turn it off.
‘Sit down, love. I’ll put the kettle on.’
The last thing Evi wanted to do was drink tea, but she sank gratefully on to the sofa. ‘I’m not sure we should hang around,’ she said. ‘I’m really quite worried. When did you last see her?’
‘About two hours ago,’ replied Gwen, after a moment. ‘She’s been helping with the search all day. Then, about five o’clock, when it was just too dark to go on, I saw her chatting to the vicar.’
The television was too loud. Evi flinched as the TV audience started applauding. ‘And did she seem OK?’ she asked.
Gwen shrugged. ‘Well, I think he might have said something she didn’t much like, because she spun on her heels the way she does and flounced off down the hill. Is she definitely not at home?’
‘There are lights on but she won’t answer the phone or the door.’ Evi had waited outside Gillian’s house for fifteen minutes, getting colder and stiffer. In the end, she’d had to try something else.
‘I’ll walk down and check on her,’ Gwen was saying. ‘Will it wait till I’ve had my tea?’
‘Probably,’ said Evi, although she really would have preferred Gwen to go immediately. ‘If you’re at all concerned about her, especially if she isn’t there, I need you to phone me,’ she went on. ‘If she seems basically OK, could you tell her that someone will call her in the morning? A colleague of mine from the hospital. She’s going to be taking over Gillian’s case.’