Kai's gaze flicked up toward the woman in the visitors' gallery. "I challenged the Clansmen to single combat, then instructed Dr. Deirdre Lear—my unwilling passenger—to pull the circuits that controlled the magnetic containment shielding for my fusion engine. As the first 'Mech engaged me, I ejected. The fusion engine explosion triggered the pentaglycerine we'd used to mine the Gash."
Kai hesitated as he relived that moment of boulders smashing down and burying enemy 'Mechs. "The Hatchetman'sejection pod carried the doctor and myself to safety, while those Clan 'Mechs were destroyed." Kai's hands tightened into fists, then opened again. "I had no choice."
Romano stood abruptly. "You had no choice? You make it sound as though you were dispatching a rabid dog, not facing fellow MechWarriors. They deserved the honor of the combat you offered them. You could have met them and defeated them honestly, but you resorted to treachery instead. Have you no honor?"
Hanse Davion's fist slammed into his table. "Colonel Wolf, once again I see my
esteemedcolleague
Romano's green eyes blazed. "I would maintain that Kai Allard's conduct is very much the subject at hand. Colonel Wolf has asked us to unite our forces to face this mutual threat, has he not? Yet Allard's conduct shows a gross disregard for the lives in his command, and he apparently has no sense of position or honor. Am I to trust my troops to actions where they will have to work under AFFC commanders? How convenient it would be for those commanders to consider my troops expendable, and order them into a similar slaughterhouse situation so that the F-C need not lose any of its own men."
She smiled cruelly. "Given Hanse Davion's lust for my realm, he could entice me to send my troops against this supposed Clan threat as a prelude to another of his invasions. How can I trust my Confederation's security to men like Allard?" Romano turned to Kai. "You cannot justify your actions, Leftenant."
Kai trembled with anger, but his self-doubt stopped him from shouting out a hot denial. She's right. You know she's right,a voice whispered inside his mind. You're less a warrior than you are a butcher.
He forced his fists to unknot, then looked Romano straight in the eye again. "You are correct, Madam Chancellor. I cannot justify my actions with any motive other than personal greed. I could not allow myself the luxury of honorable conduct when I stood to lose friends and comrades in a battle, comrades I valued above all. And I cannot assure you that should I be part of an operation that included your troops, or in which your son served, that I would not have to order the troops to fill a hole in a line, and that the order might not mean everyone would die ..."
"Ha!" she crowed triumphantly.
Kai's even voice overrode her shout of victory. "... but I guarantee that in any such situation, I would be at their head, leading the way."
Kai closed his eyes and inclined his head forward. "I live with the nightmares of what happened on Twycross. And the only thing that allows me to do so is the resolve never to order others into danger I would not be willing to face. If I have to consign men to death, I will be there with them. That, ultimately, is the burden of being a leader. And a burden I am willing to shoulder. It may not be what you call honor, but it is honor enough for me."
* * *
Kai let the door to the Council Chamber swing shut behind him, then slumped against the wall. Even as he was leaving the witness stand, Wolf had called Deirdre Lear to come forward. Kai knew that the whole situation on Twycross would be picked apart to the minutest detail, and that most of it would consist of Romano trying to make points in her forever war with Candace. Thank God I don't squabble like that with my sisters or brother.
"You, Allard." Hohiro Kurita filled the narrow corridor with fists on his hips.
Kai straightened up. "Yes, Sho-saT
The angry expression on Hohiro's face matched the grim tone of his words. "I'm looking for Victor Davion. Where is he?"
"I don't know." Kai shrugged wearily. "What difference does it make?"
Hohiro's rage cooled in the face of Kai's apathy. The Kurita Prince hesitated for a second, then forced a stern note into his voice. "It makes a difference to me. I believe he is with my sister."
Kai smothered a smile. "Well, my question still stands. What difference does it make?"
"What difference?" Hohiro reacted as though Kai's words were an autocannon hit between the eyes. "He is with my sister, and I do not know where they are. This is not done in the Draconis Combine."
"We aren't in the Draconis Combine."
"Our traditions govern the conduct of my family and our people no matter where we are. It is a dishonor for an unmarried woman to be in the company of a man who is not blood kin."
Kai's chin came up. "If you are suggesting that Victor Davion would comport himself in any way not becoming of a gentleman, I would say that you are foolish." The young officer's gray eyes narrowed. "But this isn't really about your sister's honor, is it, Hohiro? You told Victor he was not to see your sister again, and you're angry that he may have violated your demand. This is between you and him, whereas it should really be between him and your sister Omi."
Hohiro stiffened. "It is a matter of family honor."
"Ha!" Kai snorted and gave Hohiro a reproving glance. "It is a matter of your ego and your struggle with Victor for dominance of our little community on Outreach. You're missing everything Jaime and MacKenzie Wolf are trying to do here. If I didn't know better, I might think you've been staying up late having long talks with my aunt."
"Perhaps, Leftenant Allard, you do not understand ..."
"Oh, I understand, all right. Maybe better than you do."
Kai's anger at Romano boiled up suddenly, and for once, he could not keep from venting it. "You and Victor see yourselves as heirs to a warrior tradition so honorable as to be sacred to you. You've both ignored the fact that your fathers are committed to a truce that could see us through this Clan crisis. The two of you use our training exercises here as a way to compete with one another, and you're clubbing yourselves to death to do it.
"You are both fine MechWarriors. You understand how to fight as individuals, and you've got a stunning grasp of strategy and tactics. And you both possess knowledge of the Clans that could only be improved through mutual cooperation. The trust your fathers place in you is more than justified, except when the two of you insist on behaving like feuding children."
Hohiro tried to hide behind his impassive mask, but Kai would not stop. He could see in Hohiro's dark eyes that many of his shots hit home. "And now this nonsense about prohibiting Omi and Victor from meeting. Face it, just like you and me, Victor and Omi are nobles. They have probably not the slightest chance of knowing happiness or love in any conventional sense. They have no equals in the world with whom they can relax and be themselves. Their marriages will be arranged, their mates chosen for them, and even extra-marital lovers will have to be politically correct, lest there be some scandal that could harm the empire.
"Now, you and I both know how slim are the chances of your sister and Victor falling in love. And the chances of them consummating anysort of relationship are slimmer yet. That leaves the chances of marriage virtually non-existent. But that does not preclude them from being friends, and through their friendship, gaining a greater understanding of one another's nation. Your sister will likely replace Constance as Keeper of the House Honor. In that capacity, she will be a brake on you when it is time for you to take power. As a friend of Victor, she could easily serve in that capacity for him as well."