For a long time, Shel just sat and thought. But he knew there was no way to avoid talking about what both of them knew was on their minds.
“This is murder, Daddy, and covering it up only makes it worse.”
“I know it. I knew it then.”
“There are no statutes of limitations on murder.”
Tyrel nodded. “The Army will prosecute me. Probably hang me. Especially since I tried to cover everything up.”
Shel didn’t know about that. He didn’t want to think about that.
“What are you gonna do?” Tyrel asked.
“I don’t know. This… this isn’t what I expected.”
Tyrel rolled his head to see Shel. “Don’t you tell me you don’t know, boy.” His voice was edged steel now. “I raised you right, Shelton. You know the right thing to do, and you’d blamed well better do it.”
His daddy’s vehemence took Shel aback.
“I already spent forty years suffering over this,” Tyrel went on. “I’ll not spend one more day in torment. Do you hear me?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I tried holding on to this secret.” Tyrel looked up at the ceiling and his voice faded again. “I kept it from everybody, and it kept everybody from me. From the day I got back, I stayed packed and ready to pay for my crimes. I couldn’t love your mama like I should have-and God knows she deserved better’n what she got. And I couldn’t let you and Don get so attached to me that you couldn’t make it when the Army finally come for me. I was a sorry daddy to you boys, and I know that. But I didn’t have a choice. I had to let you be strong on your own.”
That’s why you kept pushing us away, Shel realized. The thought of what his daddy had done-and why-almost made him sick. Even understanding it the way he did, he didn’t know how his daddy could have been so rigid and cold as to keep his sons distant all of their lives.
“So don’t you let any sentimental foolishness on your part cloud your judgment,” Tyrel said. “You turn me in. The way you’re supposed to. You do it or I will. Either way, this ends. Do you hear me?”
Shel tried to answer, but then his daddy slumped back onto the bed, and all the alarms went off. By the time Shel got to his feet, a team of nurses and a doctor were inside the room with a crash cart.
“Get out of here,” Isabella told him.
Shel hesitated, watching helplessly as the cardiac unit worked to bring his daddy back from the dead.
“Now!” Isabella ordered. Her voice was a harsh whip crack.
Shel left.
55
›› Chapel
›› Las Palmas Medical Center
›› El Paso, Texas
›› 1013 Hours (Central Time Zone)
Shel sat in the back of the chapel with his head in his hands and his elbows resting on his knees. Fatigue battered him and leeched all the energy from him that he normally would have gotten back by simply being still.
All around him, people prayed. Some voiced litanies. Some railed at God. Others made their peace quietly. Max lay quiet and supportive at his feet.
For the past hour, Shel had tried to figure out what path he should take. The problem was, he didn’t figure God was behind it all or that God was out to get him. Shel had come to the chapel because he’d wanted to be alone as much as he could. Church held good memories for him from his childhood. He didn’t know when he’d lost that feeling. And it wasn’t there for him right now either.
This thing-his daddy’s situation-was just what it was. That’s all. There was nothing to be done about it and nothing else he needed to be doing. He’d just file his report about hearing his daddy’s confession, back it up with the recording he’d made, and let justice take its course.
And what are you gonna do then, Shel? he asked himself. Watch the military kill your daddy? Or watch him wither away inside of some prison?
Neither of those options sounded good.
Someone slid into the pew next to him.
Shel glanced over and saw Don sitting there.
“I just came from the cardiac ICU,” Don said. “They told me Daddy’s going to be all right.”
Shel nodded. Isabella had already come down and told him that less than ten minutes ago. He’d left word for Don on his cell phone. Don had been getting his wife and kids checked into a local hotel.
“They said you were with Daddy when he had his episode,” Don said.
“Yeah.”
Don hesitated, and when he spoke again, his voice was harsh. “They said he was yelling at you.”
Shel nodded.
Anger showed in Don’s eyes. “You want to tell me about that? Because if we almost lost Daddy just because you got into a fight with him and almost killed him that way, I really need to know what’s in your head and your heart, Shel. And whether or not I want you to be around Daddy right now.”
“You’re not going to like what I have to say, Don.”
“It can’t make me feel any worse than I already do. But I don’t want to lose my daddy and a brother all at the same time, so you’d better start talking.”
“Okay.” Shel took a deep breath and looked up. “But let’s get out of here. Go somewhere we can talk.”
›› Cafeteria
›› Las Palmas Medical Center
›› El Paso, Texas
›› 1057 Hours (Central Time Zone)
It took Shel nearly an hour to tell all of it and finish up with the questions Don had. Around them, families sat at tables and carried on quiet conversations. They all had their own troubles, and Shel saw the weight of them stamped on the people. Just knowing there were that many problems nearby made him feel claustrophobic.
“What’s wrong?” Don asked.
“Nothing.”
Don frowned at him. “I’ve known you my whole life, Shel. You’d say nothing was wrong if they cut both your arms off and set you on fire.”
Shel forced a grin. “Don’t you think that example is a little extreme?”
“For anybody but you, yes. Talk to me.”
It took Shel a long moment to try to figure out the words he needed. He’d never been good at talking about himself.
“I joined the Marine Corps to get away from Daddy,” Shel said softly. “I couldn’t do anything about him. Couldn’t do anything about Mama dying like she did.”
“That wasn’t your fault,” Don said.
“I know that. But I felt like there should have been something I could do. I just knew I felt bad staying at the ranch. Everything there reminded me of how helpless I was to fix things the way I wanted to.”
Don just remained silent. He’d always been good at listening.
“I joined the Marines because I liked the way they looked,” Shel said. “All those commercials made it sound like Marines were these incredible, unstoppable warriors who could take on anything and win.” He shook his head and grinned ruefully. “I was eighteen. What did I know?”
“You knew you wanted to help people. That’s not a bad thing.”
Looking at his brother, Shel suddenly realized they weren’t so very different these days. Maybe they really hadn’t been when they’d grown up together. Seeing that gave him a whole new perspective.
“You joined the church to help people,” Shel said.
Don smiled. “Actually, I joined the church to date the preacher’s daughter. That was the only way I could see Joanie back then. But God called out to me, and I answered. I think you were probably called too.”
“Not me. It was a Marine poster that did me in.”
“And the chance to get away from Daddy.”
“Yeah.” Shel sipped his tea. “The thing I learned was that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t save everybody.”
“That’s not your burden, Shel. God works among people, and he gives them the means to save themselves.”
“That’s where you and I are going to have to disagree. I’ve seen a lot of people that couldn’t save themselves.”
“Like Daddy?” Don asked quietly.
For the first time, Shel realized what was bothering him most. After hearing the whole story, he knew his daddy needed help. Needed it in a bad way and had needed it for a long time.