“You should get a hotel room. Someplace where you can get a good night’s rest.” Concern showed in her dark eyes.
“I’m fine. Thanks.”
Isabella leaned back against the wall and relaxed. She smothered a yawn with her hand, then grinned ruefully. “Sorry.”
“Maybe I’m not the only one missing out on sleep.”
“No, you’re not. I’m finishing up my master’s right now. Night classes. It takes a lot out of me. But the kids help.”
“You’re married?”
Isabella shook her head. “Widowed. My husband was a fireman. There was a bad fire downtown almost four years ago.” She didn’t meet Shel’s eyes as she spoke, lost in memory. “The building collapsed. Brian didn’t make it back out.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. Me too.” Isabella nodded at the cross at the front of the chapel. “There’s not a day I’m on duty that I don’t stop in here and say a prayer for him. Some days, I feel like he’s here with me.”
“Maybe he is.”
“I suppose, as much time as you spend in here, that you like churches too?”
Shel shook his head. “That’s Don’s purview.”
She looked at him.
“I like it here because it’s quiet and no one bothers you.”
Her eyes were deep and intense. “Do you really think that’s why you’re in here?”
“Yes.”
A sad smile pulled at her lips. “Then you’ve got a lot to learn, Marine. Anyway, I didn’t come here to witness to you, though I never hold back in that regard either. I just wanted to see how you were holding up.”
“I’m fine. Thank you.”
Isabella stood. “I usually take a break for lunch around eleven thirty. If you want some company.”
“I’d like that,” Shel said.
Isabella smiled. “I’ll stop by and get you.” She started to go, then turned back to face him. “Try praying, Marine. If you’ve tried everything else, what have you got to lose? Just make sure that when you do, it’s from the heart.”
Shel nodded, but he didn’t promise anything. He wouldn’t have promised Don either.
After Isabella left, Shel folded his arms and tried to get back to sleep. But sleep wouldn’t come. He kept staring at the cross and thinking about how Don had put so much faith in God. Evidently Isabella did too.
How could someone do that?
It was beyond Shel to imagine putting faith in anything outside himself. He’d acquired skills and trained his body to take care of him wherever he went. He was a warrior and had stridden across battlefields, through dozens of firefights. He’d been shot at point-blank range almost two months ago. He hadn’t called on God then. He’d just healed and gotten himself ready again. That’s what he always did. And he kept his wants small, down to things that he could manage.
He’d learned not to ask for big things after he’d discovered that no matter what he did, he couldn’t have a relationship with his daddy. The closest he’d ever allowed himself to come to anyone was with Will and the others on the NCIS team. Even that had been scary. He’d known then that he shouldn’t reach for anything outside himself.
Losing Frank Billings had hurt. But thinking about Frank now, Shel realized that the thing he most remembered about Frank was his faith in God. Frank’s faith had always been there, totally unshakable.
These days, Will had that faith too. It was still new, but Shel had noticed it. And it had come over Will at what Shel would have figured was the worst time ever: after Frank’s murder in South Korea and after his wife had dropped divorce papers on him.
How had Will turned to God in the middle of that?
“People who don’t have faith turn to God when they don’t have anywhere else to go,” Don had told Shel on more than one occasion. “It’s a shame they wait till then, but that’s usually when they get the wake-up call that they need help in their lives or they’re not going to make it through. That’s the whole thing about free will, Shel. God is there, but he leaves the choice in your hands.”
Shel wondered if that was true, though. Did God move in ways to coerce people into believing in him? He figured if he’d asked that question of Don, his brother would have gotten irate with him.
Maybe he’d even committed a sin by thinking that way.
Then again, by believing that God was coercing you into accepting him, wasn’t that faith too? Believing that God cared enough to blackmail you into faith was also an admission that you believed. Shel wasn’t certain about that.
One thing was certain, though: he didn’t have anywhere else to go. No one could help him.
No, he corrected himself, no one can help Daddy. His eyes burned as he thought about that. He stared at the cross. What about it, God? Do I have to knuckle under for myself? Or can you blackmail me into believing in you by threatening Daddy?
Anger swept through Shel at that moment. But at the same time, he let out a breath and calmed himself. He thought for a long time, but he couldn’t come up with another plan of action.
He was at a standstill and up against a stone wall. And all that time, his daddy was fighting for his life.
All right, God, I don’t know if you planned this or are just around as you’ve always been. We can sort all that out later. Shel bowed his head and let go of his anger. He didn’t have room in his heart for that and hope at the same time. Right now, God, I’m asking for your help. Not for me, but for Daddy. I don’t know if you take prayers for others, but I know a lot of people pray for other people who have trouble in their lives.
Daddy’s got a lot of trouble in his life. It’s been there for a long time. But I expect you already knew that if you’re everything Don believes you are. Daddy needs help that Don can’t give and I can’t give. I’m asking you to give him that help. If he can’t help himself, then please help me help him.
Shel sat there quietly for a time and thought about all the Sunday school classes he’d gone to when his mama had been alive. He thought about her too, and for a moment while he sat in the chapel, he could have sworn he felt her around him.
Then the feeling was gone, but a peace like none he’d ever before experienced descended on him. Before he knew it, he was totally at rest and fell asleep effortlessly.
›› Cafeteria
›› Las Palmas Medical Center
›› El Paso, Texas
›› 1139 Hours (Central Time Zone)
“Your father surprised the doctor just a short time ago,” Isabella said as she placed her tray on one of the back tables.
Shel sat on the other side of the table from her. Max made himself at home to one side. All around them, visitors and hospital staff lunched and talked. It was busy and noisy.
“How?” Shel asked. He dropped part of a turkey sandwich and Max caught it before it hit the floor.
“He’s agreed to talk to the doctor about the pacemaker.”
Worry gnawed at Shel. “Did something happen?”
“You mean with his heart?”
Shel nodded.
“No. He just changed his mind.”
“Daddy don’t often do that once he settles on a game plan.”
“Just be glad that he did.”
“I am.”
They ate and swapped small talk for a little while, but Shel couldn’t help thinking about his prayer in the chapel and how he’d felt his mama there. Isabella was pleasant and easy company, and she didn’t mind keeping up both ends of the conversation when she had to.
As they were putting their trays away and getting ready to leave, Shel’s cell phone rang. He took it out of his pocket and flipped it open.
“Did I catch you at a bad time?” Will asked.
“Now is good,” Shel replied.
“Estrella found one of Victor Gant’s old crew that was wounded before he got out of Vietnam. Maggie and Remy went to see him. He was there the night your father shot PFC Hinton.”
Shel’s stomach knotted up at little at that. The murder wasn’t going to go away.
“He’s also identified an area where he thinks the body was buried,” Will went on.
Excitement blazed within Shel as he guessed where Will was going.