I gasped aloud, fighting for my hold, feeling him push me out, knowing if he did, we were all dead.
I closed my eyes, blocking out the sight of him, but this time, I sent images… memories I'd seen inside of Philip.
Angelo's face. His smile. The sword arcing, slicing off his head.
All Julian's resistance failed as he cried out. I could feel what he felt in this moment, and he had never felt anything like it. I kept my eyes closed and pushed harder inside of his mind.
Show me.
I was inside his memories, inside his existence, and he could not keep me out, nor could he stop the flow I had started by forcing him to see Angelo. He began to remember it all. I saw so many faces, so many of my kind as Julian butchered them… a red-haired vampire turning in surprise as the blade swept in… a dark-skinned girl, little more than a child. I wanted to weep, but could not.
Instead, I gripped his thoughts more tightly with my own. I altered them, warped them, creating images of the ghosts of his victims. I built a nightmare in his mind as they crept toward him with bloody lines across their throats. He could not escape as they clutched at him… grabbing him, nailing him to a cross, and raising it.
Angelo picked up a torch and set the cross on fire.
Julian screamed and fell to the carpet.
I crawled over to him, with my mouth to his ear.
"Is this what you fear, Master? One of us taking over your thoughts, your body?" I pressed my mouth closer, tasting the stale flesh of his temple. "Then fear me. I could make this much worse, and I could make you relive it over and over again." I paused, watching his face twitch in horror, ashamed how much I enjoyed the sight.
"We want to be left alone," I whispered. "That's all. But if you ever come near me or Philip or Wade again, I will trap you in your own hell. Do you understand?"
I released some of my control, letting him have partial function of his body again. He did not respond, but turned his head to stare at me. I was a stranger to him-as if he could not believe his little servant girl could conjure images ugly enough to make him writhe and force them into his brain. He didn't know me. His mouth was still locked in the O shape.
"I will let you up if you swear to leave, if you swear to never come near us again," I said.
The fear and disbelief in his eyes grew.
"Do you swear?" I demanded.
"Yes," he finally hissed, finding his voice.
"Remember what I can do!"
But then the sound of crashing glass broke the last of my connection, my hold on him. Wind swept through the room, and I looked up to see Philip standing over us with a chair leg in his right hand. His left shoulder was still dislocated. The hotel window behind him had been smashed.
He'd broken the window?
He dropped the chair leg. Then he grabbed Julian, pulled him up and threw him backward. Julian was still dazed from the horror show I had sent into his head and from the shock of having lost control of himself. He nearly fell through the broken window, but managed to grab one side, cutting his hand, as he fought wildly to pull himself back inside. Philip strode toward him with a savage expression I never wanted to see again.
"Philip, no!" I called. "You don't need to-"
But Philip didn't even hear me. He kicked Julian square in the chest, and I watched as my maker's arms flailed and his eyes widened in his pale face before he fell from view… twelve stories down toward the pavement.
Then he was gone.
"Why did you do that?" I shouted at Philip. "I had him! You didn't need to…" I trailed off as Philip turned, anger draining from his face.
He came back quickly and dropped to his knees, grabbing my hands, examining my fingers and arms. "Did he hurt you?"
I didn't know how to answer.
Wade moaned and sirens blared outside. It had only been moments since the first shots exploded in the room, but hotel security must be on its way up-and someone had called the police.
"We have to go now," Philip said, walking to Wade and leaning over to pick him up.
"I can walk," Wade mumbled. His cheek was cut and turning purple.
They both started for the door, but I couldn't help running to the window first and looking down.
The pavement below was empty.
Chapter 24
Five nights later I was on the streets by myself. I wanted to be out alone, away from Philip and Wade.
I'd thought recovering from our shared horror of fighting Julian would be difficult… but so far, we'd barely even talked about it.
Wade had snapped Philip's shoulder back into its socket, and that was the last time any of us mentioned what happened that night.
Without even examining our options, the three of us moved into Maggie's. Simple, mechanical, civilized, unspeakably calm, we set about putting our immediate environment into neat order. I quickly pulled all of my money from Portland and put it into a private account.
Philip took over Maggie's room, but he didn't alter the feminine decor even though he didn't like it.
Wade settled into the stark upstairs second bedroom-sleeping on blankets on the floor. But he'd only bought two new changes of clothes.
I slept in the cellar because it felt safe.
Philip did not arrange for new bank accounts in America, nor would he mention moving back to Paris. Wade avoided the topic or his job or Dominick's death or any future plans beyond the next five minutes. They both seemed to be waiting for me. But what did I want?
Neither of them had asked me what I did to Julian… but I had a feeling Philip figured out I'd attacked him telepathically.
Of course none of us knew what happened to him after he fell.
Philip kept looking over his shoulder, as if waiting to see a sword arcing out of the darkness. But I didn't. I believed I'd ended this conflict forever. I could hit Julian with the one thing he truly feared, yet I would leave him alone if he left me alone.
He'd stay away.
But… where did that leave me?
Every aspect of my undead existence revolved around William or Julian in one form or another. Now, sweet William was gone. I accepted that reality with mixed emotions.
I was free.
But free to do what?
To go on killing and feeding and plying my gift in one long, endless stretch of time? Is that all there was? Perhaps Edward had been the only sane one after all.
Certain doubts-concepts-had been plaguing me for several nights. I couldn't stop thinking about the memories Philip had shown me.
Nearly thirty vampires in Europe alone.
Did that mean there were other vampires in places like Asia, Australia, or South America? If so, had Julian hunted them down, too? Philip didn't know, and the topic upset him. He'd spent most of that time of terror in hiding.
But even if all the vampires had lived in Europe, how did they manage to hide and feed without depopulating entire areas? The best-case scenario meant fifteen hundred and sixty deaths a year if each vampire made only one kill a week. That's nearly sixteen thousand deaths over a ten-year period and didn't take hunters like Philip into account. How could this be?
An idea, a possibility, began forming in my mind over the past few nights. I don't how it occurred to me, or when it began, but I needed to be alone to try it. So I hit the streets without Philip and headed down to Pike Place Market.
Even after closing, the market teemed with life. Hookers, bums, guys playing guitars on street corners, their cases left open for donations, and teenage kids looking for something to do all milled around in a kaleidoscope of colors and scents.
Wearing a white cotton dress, my hair in a French braid, I looked clean and bright, like a girl from a Bloomingdale's hatbox. Maggie had taught me more than she'd realized, but I could never rely on a gift like hers. My own was too deeply ingrained.