“No,” I replied. “I'm willing to play the game. But you are aware of my reason for wanting to know these things. It's a matter of self-preservation to me. I thought at first that you wanted information that would help you to nail the man who killed Caine. But you said no, and you didn't give me anything to put in its place.”
“I did, too! I want to protect you!”
“I appreciate the sentiment. But why? When it comes down to it, you hardly know me.”
“Nevertheless, that is my reason and I don't feel like going behind it. Take it or leave it.”
I got to my feet and began pacing the patio. I didn't like the thought of giving away information that could be vital to my security, and ultimately that of Amber-though I had to admit I was getting a pretty good return for what I'd given. Her stuff did sound right. For that matter, the Bayles had a long history of loyalty to the Crown, for whatever that was worth. The thing that bothered me the most, I decided, was her insistence that it was not actually revenge that she was after. Apart from this being a very un-Amberlike attitude, if she were any judge at all as to what would go over with me she need but have agreed that blood was what she wanted, in order to make her concern intelligible. I would have bought it without looking any further. And what did she offer in its place? Airy nothings and classified motives...
Which could well mean she was telling the truth. Disdaining the use of a workable lie and offering something more cumbersome in its place would seem the mark of genuine honesty. And she did, apparently, have more answers that I wanted
I heard a small rattling sound from the table. I thought at first that she might be drumming on it with her fingertips as a sign of her irritation with me. But when I glanced back I saw that she was sitting perfectly still, not even looking at me.
I drew nearer, seeking the source. The ring, the pieces of blue stone and even the button were jiggling about on the tabletop, as of their own accord.
“Something you're doing?” I asked
“No,” she replied.
The stone in the ring cracked and fell out of its setting.
“What, then?”
“I broke a link,” she said. “I believe something may be trying to reestablish it and failing.”
“Even so, if I'm still attuned they don't need them in order to locate me, do they?”
“There may be more than one party involved,” she observed. “I think I should have a servant ride back to town and throw the things into the ocean. If someone wishes to follow them there, fine.”
“The chips should just lead back to the cave, and the ring to the dead man,” I said. “But I'm not ready to throw the button away.”
“Why not? It represents a big unknown.”
“Exactly. But these things would have to work both ways, wouldn't they? That would mean that I could learn to use the button to find my way to the flower thrower.”
“That could be dangerous.”
“And not doing it could prove more dangerous in the long run. No, you can throw the rest of them into the sea, but not the button.”
“All right. I'll keep it pent for you.”
“Thanks. Jasra is Luke's mother.”
“You're joking!”
“Nope.”
“That explains why he didn't lean on her directly about the later April thirtieths. Fascinating! It opens up a whole new lane of speculation.”
“Care to share them?”
“Later, later. In the meantime, I'll take care of these stones right now.” She scooped them all out of the circle and they seemed, for a moment, to dance in her hand. She stood.
“Uh-the button?” I said.
“Yes.”
She put the button into her pocket and kept the others in her hand.
“You're going to get attuned yourself if you keep the button that way, aren't you?”
“No,” she said, “I won't.”
“Why not?”
“There's a reason. Excuse me while I find a container for the others, and someone to transport them.”
“Won't that person get attuned?”
“It takes a while.”
“Oh.”
“Have some more coffee-or something.”
She turned and left. I ate a piece of cheese. I tried to figure out whether I'd gotten more answers or more new questions during the course of our conversation. I tried to ht some of the new pieces into the old puzzle.
“Father?”
I turned, to see who had spoken. There was no one in sight.
“Down here.”
A coin-sized disk of light lay within a nearby flower bed, otherwise empty save for a few dry stalks and leaves. The light caught my attention when it moved slightly.
“Ghost?” I asked.
“Uh-huh,” came the reply from among the leaves. “I was waiting to catch you when you were alone. I'm not sure I trust that woman.”
“Why not?”
“She doesn't scan right, like other people. I don't know what it is. But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“What, then?”
“Uh-well, did you mean what you said about not really intending to turn me off?”
“Jeez! After all the sacrifices I made for you! Your education and everything... And lugging all your damn components out to a place like that where you'd be safe! How can you ask me that?”
“Well,I heard Random tell you to do it “
“You don't do everything you're told either, do you? Especially when it comes to assaulting me when I just wanted to check out a few programs? I deserve a little more respect than that!”
“Uh-yeah. Look, I'm sorry.”
“You ought to be. I went through a lot of crap because of you.”
“I looked for you for several days, and I couldn't find you.”
“Crystal caves are no fun.”
“I don't have much time now...” The light flickered, faded almost to the point of vanishing, returned to full brilliance. “Will you tell me something fast?”
“Shoot.”
“That fellow who was with you when you came out this way-and when you left-the big red-haired man?”
“Luke. Yes?”
The light grew dimmer again.
“Is it okay to trust him?” Ghost's voice came faintly, weakly.
“No!” I shouted. “That would be damn stupid!”
Ghost was gone, and I couldn't tell whether he'd heard my answer.
“What's the matter?” Vinta's voice, from above me.
“Argument with my imaginary playmate,” I called out.
Even from that distance I could see the expression of puzzlement on her face. She sought in all directions about the patio and then, apparently persuading herself that I was indeed alone, she nodded.
“Oh,” she said. Then, “I'll be along in a little while.”
“No hurry,” I answered.
Where shall wisdom be found, and where is the place of understanding? If I knew, I'd walk over and stand there. As it was, I felt as if I stood in the midst of a large map, surrounded by vague areas wherein were penned the visages of particularly nasty-looking random variables. A perfect place for a soliloquy, if one had anything to say.
I went back inside to use the john. All that coffee.
6
Well, maybe.
With Julia, I mean.
I sat alone in my room, thinking by candlelight.
Vinta had stirred a few sunkcn memories to the surface.
It was later on, when we weren't seeing much of each other...
I'd met Julia first in a Computer Science course I was taking. We'd started seeing each other occasionally, just coffee after class and like that, at first. Then more and more frequently, and pretty soon it was serious.
Now it was ending as it had started, a little more each time...
I felt her hand on my shoulder as I was leaving the supermarket with a bag of groceries. I knew it was her and I turned and there was no one there. Seconds later, she hailed me from across the parking lot. I went over and said hello, asked her if she were still working at the software place where she'd been. She said that she wasn't. I recalled that she was wearing a small silver pentagram on a chain about her neck. It could easily-,and more likely should-have been hanging down inside her blouse. But of course I wouldn't have seen it then, and her body language indicated that she wanted me to see it. So I ignored it while we exchanged a few generalities, and she turned me down on dinner and a movie, though I asked after several nights.