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She leaned over and kissed me, pulled hair behind her right ear and said, “It goes back to what Dave and Nick were talking about at the bar, the meaning of life is finding your meaning in life.”

I sat up and smiled. “You’re a smart and perceptive woman. And you’re a beautiful woman, on the inside and out.”

“Ahhh, you know how to touch a girl’s heart, Mr. O’Brien.” Her wide smile suddenly melted. “After tonight, after you come back from Ireland, after you face those dragons, I don’t want you to think you owe me anything, Sean. You have known the pain of finding and losing family, we’re your family at the marina. I’ve always been close you. I don’t need to be your wife, your girlfriend … anything more than a part of your family of people who care deeply about you, okay? This is important. Are you okay with that … because I am?”

“Okay.”

“May you find what you’re looking for in Ireland, and may that help to right a wrong. Return to us safely, Sean. That’s all I ask of you. Come home safe and whole. I told you about the dark and frightening dreams I had in the hospital, what I didn’t tell you was they were about you. I believe you are about to walk through the darkest chapter of your life. And it will take everything you have to endure.”

86

After I landed at Dublin International Airport, I rented a car and drove straight to County Cork and the coastal town of Cobh, Ireland. It was here, from this seaport that a ship known as Titanic sailed for America in 1912. It never arrived, but millions of emigrants did. The town was the gateway to the Promised Land, America, when more than six-million Irish said goodbye to their homeland between 1848 and 1950.

When I came over the crest of a hill and saw the port town, the first thing that caught my eye was the cathedral. St. Colman’s Cathedral was impressive, sitting on a hill high above the business district near the water. The exterior of the old cathedral was clad in shades of gray; inside, I knew, was where the real darkness lay in waiting. My challenge would be to somehow gain access to the semi-retired senior priest whose collar was as false as his title, healer, teacher, and a minister—‘following the example set by the first priest, Jesus Christ.’

Driving through town, I had the feeling that the place hadn’t changed too much since Titanic set sail. Maybe the old coastal town was a bit more colorful today. It had a tourist vibe with a seaport edginess, bars for longshoreman, and pubs for holiday vacationers. Most of the two and three-story buildings that faced the harbor were painted in soft shades of blue, red, burgundy, yellows, lime greens, strawberry, and other ice cream flavors of color. I parked in front of Jack Doyle’s Pub, found a pay phone, and called the main number listed for St. Colman’s Cathedral.

A woman answered, “Thank you for calling Saint Colman’s, may I help you?”

“Yes, I’m new in town. Just getting settled, my family and me. We’re looking for a Catholic church to help raise our children. I’ve heard good things about your church.”

“Oh, yes indeed. The church has a long history with Cohb, way back when the city was called Queensland. Please come attend a Sunday mass with us. I believe you will find a new church home with Saint Colman’s.”

“I’ll definitely take you up on the offer. However, before I bring the whole family … this is difficult to say, I’m sorry.”

“Please, take your time.”

“Thank you. I haven’t done a confession in thirteen years. It’s not right, I know, especially for a man my age. Something happened that I need to make penitence for, something for which I must seek forgiveness.”

“When would you like to come in?”

“When is Father Garvey available?”

“Father Garvey? He’s here part-time now. Perhaps you could see Father O’Conner—”

“Father Garvey comes highly recommended. Since I’m no longer a young man, I think a priest with Father Garvey’s experience gives him the knowledge and skill to help me. When is he available?”

“Let me check his calendar.”

As I waited for her to return to the phone, I looked down to the harbor, the water a sparkling cobalt blue, a huge three-masted schooner entering the port, its white sails expanded with wind. Church bells rang out in the direction of St. Colman’s Cathedral. I glanced at my watch. It was exactly four o’clock.

“Father Garvey will be here tomorrow, Saturday. He comes in occasionally on Saturday. Looks like he’ll be here from one ‘till four o’clock. Would three o’clock work for you?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome. Oh, sir, what’s your name?”

“Taylor, Mark Taylor.”

“Thank you Mr. Taylor.”

“Thank you, before you go, I hear church bells. Are they coming from St. Colman’s?”

“Yes. We have the largest carillon in all of Ireland, even the British Isles. Forty-nine bells, one is big as an adult elephant. Each day at four o’clock, the carillon bells play a song. It’s all automated. However, on Sundays, and holidays, we have a professional carillon player climb the steps to the top of the old spire and play by hand. He uses his fists, really. It’s quite remarkable. I’m afraid I must go, there’s another call and I’m the only one in the office. Goodbye, Mr. Taylor, and welcome to Cohb, Ireland.”

I wanted a dark and uncrowded place to eat. I didn’t know whether my picture had made it into the Irish news media. I ducked in to Jack Doyle’s Bar, my eyes taking a few seconds to adjust to the darkness. Sports memorabilia hung on each wall, pictures of heavyweight boxers, rugby and football players. Three people sat at the bar. Two looked like dock workers, muscular, T-shirts and tattoos. An older man, white hair, white bushy moustache, wore a tweed cap and nursed a glass of Guinness, his moustache wet with the beer foam.

I took a seat next to the older man, he nodded, sipped his beer and said, “We’re seven minutes into happy hour.”

I smiled. “Looks like I need to make up for lost time.”

He chuckled. “When you hear the church bells ring it’s time to drink a pint and get ready to sing. Name’s Hugh Donovan.”

“Mark Taylor.”

“American?”

“How’d you tell?”

“Lucky guess.”

“How’s the corned beef here?”

“Best in town.”

The bartender approached. I ordered a Guinness, corned beef ‘n cabbage, and some Irish potatoes. Hugh sipped his beer, his blue eyes dewy. “What brings you to Cohb?”

“Holiday. I’m a history buff.”

“You look more like the guy this place was named for — Jack Doyle. He was a hell of a fighter and a movie star, had the nickname of Gorgeous Gael. And he rode the legend all the way to Hollywood. Before he made movies, he fought twenty-seven pro fights, all won by knockouts, most in the first minute. He was six-three with a seventy-nine-inch reach. That’s him in the photograph above the bar.” He pointed to a framed black and white picture of a dark-haired man, boxing gloves raised, smiling at the camera.

“What happened to him?” I asked.

“Slow booze and fast women. He spent money like these drunken sailors that come in here when they hit the docks. Jack died a shadow of the man he once was.”

The food and Guinness arrived. I ate and listened while my new-found-friend reminisced about the history of Cohb. I learned that Cohb was where the surviving victims of the sinking of the Lusitania were treated. The Germans sank the British ship seven miles off the coast of Ireland. As he drank and talked, I glanced down the bar and caught the lone woman staring directly at me. Her blue eyes bright as swimming pool water. I smiled and sipped the Guinness.