The beautiful evening, with the daylight slowly fading and a clear, still twilight approaching, found us on our way back to Aelf Fen. We had come across any number of Haralds – I did say it was a popular name – but nobody seemed to have heard of any family who had adopted the name of Fensman, with or without a son who had left the area.
I was turning over something in my mind, and had been quiet for some time, when Jack said, ‘What are you thinking?’
‘Er – it’s probably nothing.’
He grinned. ‘When people say that, what they mean is, I’m pretty sure I’ve come up with something important but I don’t want to admit it in case I’m wrong.’
I laughed. ‘I don’t think it’s important, exactly, but it may be relevant. It’s bothering me, anyway.’
Jack looked enquiringly at me. When I didn’t respond, he said, ‘Speak up, then!’
‘It’s the name, Fensman. What occurred to me is that everyone here could call themselves that. All of us are fensmen, or fenswomen, and for someone to use the name as a way of distinguishing himself just wouldn’t work.’
He nodded. ‘Go on.’
‘We know from Lady Rosaria that her father-in-law Harald left his fenland home to make his fortune overseas somewhere, and we know she began her voyage back to England in northern Spain.’
‘Corunna,’ Jack put in.
‘So, what I think is that he only adopted the Fensman name once he settled in Spain, and he left here as plain Harald.’
‘In which case, you and I have wasted a day asking for someone called Fensman,’ Jack concluded, with understandable frustration.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, ‘I didn’t mean to-’
‘You have nothing to apologize for,’ he said swiftly. He turned to me and smiled. ‘And even if today was a waste as far as we’re concerned,’ he added, his mouth twisting in a grin, ‘I’m sure the old woman with the phlegmy cough and the man with piles are most grateful we, or rather you, happened by.’
I felt myself blush. I’ve grown used to the more intimate and personal ailments people present to me, and take them all in my stride. I wasn’t, however, quite capable of hearing someone outside my profession speak of them without feeling embarrassed.
‘We must think, Lassair,’ Jack said after a moment, ‘what else we know about Lady Rosaria’s husband’s family. Did she tell us anything else that might help discover where they originated? Was there any hint as to a specific location? Any mention of other kinsmen?’
I was thinking very hard, trying to remember everything that the veiled woman had ever said. Since she was one of the most rigidly reserved women I’d ever come across, nothing much came to mind. ‘I can’t recall anything,’ I confessed after quite a long silence. ‘What about you?’
‘No, I can’t either,’ he agreed. ‘But I do have the advantage, in that I’m going to be staying under the same roof as our mysterious foreign lady tonight. I’ll try to speak to her. I’ll leave her in no doubt that we’d find her family a lot more quickly if she’d tell us a bit more about them.’
‘Rather you than me,’ I said.
He grinned. ‘No, I don’t relish the prospect, I must say.’
We reached the place on the track where the path leads up to Edild’s house; the spot from where we’d set out that morning. I dismounted, feeling the long day of riding in my sore thighs and backside. Sensing his eyes on me, I looked up.
‘You have several shelves of remedies in that little room,’ he said. His eyes were bright with laughter. ‘Don’t try to tell me there isn’t some wonderfully effective liniment which your aunt can rub on for you.’
‘I wouldn’t dream of it,’ I said with dignity. ‘By the time I go to bed, every ache will have been eased. And,’ I added with a grin, ‘it’s not me who’ll be trying to gouge information out of Lady Rosaria.’
I handed Isis’s reins to him then, with a wave, set off up the path. After a moment, I heard him mutter a few words to his grey, and two sets of hoofbeats pounded the ground as they cantered away.
As evening fell, the veiled woman in the comfortable guest chamber at Lakehall went over to the narrow window and looked out on to the gilded landscape. The long rays of the setting sun made the scene quite beautiful, but Rosaria was in no mood to appreciate it.
She had tried praying, hoping for relief from her torment. She had imposed solitude upon herself, and her hosts were too courteous to intrude. The local woman was taking adequate care of the infant, leaving Rosaria with little to do except worry.
She had thought it would be easy.
My family in the fens, Harald had said countless times, are numerous and mighty; we are people to be reckoned with! He used to speak proudly and lovingly of his home: of wide acres spread under a huge sky; of waterways – streams and little rivers – so rich in fish that you had but to put your hand in and grab hold of your supper. He spoke of warm hearths where kinsmen gathered, of hospitality, of sheltering walls and a stout roof. And as they had listened wide-eyed, hanging on his every word as he described that faraway land, he had elaborated, describing the long, low hall, the fires that always burned, the stacked sheepskins and furs in which to snuggle on a cold night, the feasting, the conviviality, the open-handedness of a secure, wealthy family willing and able to offer hospitality to friend and kinsman.
Rosaria’s soul had responded, and she had longed to be a part of that rich, comfortable, safe life which Harald described so well.
Now she was here, in Harald’s own land, and it ought to have been easy. She had imagined, in her innocence and ignorance, that Fen was a place; that, once delivered to the nearest port, it would simply be a matter of locating the homestead of Harald Fensman’s family and announcing, Here I am.
But Fen wasn’t a place. It was a huge watery, marshy, confusing and half-flooded wilderness, and she had no idea how to find the household she sought. Oh, yes, this Lord Gilbert was trying to help, although Rosaria was certain it was only because he wished to be rid of her. What did that matter, though, as long as the right result was achieved? If – no, when – the day came that they brought her the wonderful tidings that the Fensman clan were ready to welcome her and the child with open arms, and one of them was indeed standing in the hall with a smile on his face ready to take her away, she would thank Lord Gilbert with a pretty little speech, take herself off and he would never have to bother with her again.
That day will come, she told herself firmly. It will. It must. It is only a matter of waiting.
But, oh, how tired she was of the wait; of the constant effort of being a guest in a household that had neither expected nor invited her. How she longed for a place to call her own. A household where, as a daughter-in-law of one kinsman and mother of another, they would welcome her, make much of her, sympathize with her and tend her …
She allowed her mind to slide off into a happy daydream. It was the only comfort she had.
After a time, shivering suddenly as the temperature began to drop, she moved away from the window, allowing the heavy hanging that covered it at night to swing into place. She paced up and down the room, eyes roaming over the luxurious bed, the heavy, colourful tapestries lining the walls and the fresh rushes on the clean flags of the floor. Would her new home be like this? Harald had implied as much, and her impression had always been that his home in the country of his birth had been sumptuously luxurious.
Oh, she thought, oh, how I long to be there.
She had paid a price: a huge price. Allowing herself just for an instant to think the unthinkable, she wondered what would become of her if that price proved to be all for nothing.
But straight away her mind screamed out in protest. Stop!
She could hear voices in the great hall. The servants were starting on the preparations for the evening. There would be the meal – they ate well here – and perhaps an entertainment. One evening, there had been singing. Another time, someone had told stories. A polite invitation was always issued to Rosaria to join the household, but usually she declined. Food was brought to her room, and she would listen to the sounds of merriment which she could not share.