Who the fuck is anyone, really?
FIFTEEN
Jerzy
The Ambrozy Club has some people in it already, even though it’s only five or so. There are some old Polacks, most of which I know by name and a lot of them have been coming here since old man Dudek opened the place. They’ve been here since noon and will be gone by five-thirty. There are also some blue collar fools who actually work for a living and they’re getting the nightly drunk on a little early.
And, of course, there is the hottest bartender that this joint had ever had. Ania is down on the other end of the long bar and some other goof is working down here where I’m at.
I sat here on purpose though, because sometimes I just like to watch people from a distance. Tells you things you might not always notice up close. One thing is for sure, she’s good from any distance.
Now, the trouble is with this time of day, along with these people who actually work for a living, I’m sitting next to two little twinks who pose for a living. See, Patrik’s clientele is changing a little bit. He’s been trying to add customers from a little higher rung on the social ladder. These two assholes are part of the trade-off you have put up with when you try to do the upgrade thing. They’re ruining my golabki and beers with their little prissy ass chatter.
Both are late twenties, nice suits and ties loosened up like they just dug a ditch or something. They are no doubt relaxing after a terrible, backbreaking day of overseas video conference calls with Paris or some such bullshit. Cell phones are, of course, on the bar in front of them and they’re both drinking some bullshit beer from fucking Portugal.
I can also hear them talking about Ania.
“Whoa. Nice piece of ass working the bar down there,” the lead stud says and then elbows me too. He doesn’t even look at me while he’s talking.
“Come in here much?” I look over at him and take my last bite.
“Yeah, that’s hot,” he says and he’s still looking at her. “That’s real hot.”
“Hey.” I say to him and take my last swig of beer.
The guy leans over to his little boyfriend and says something I can’t hear. They both laugh.
“Man, I’d like to spin that around, huh?” I hear the other say.
“Hey.” I turn sideways to him.
He sighs real loud, all put out like and finally turns around to face me.
“What? What the fuck do you want, man? What is your specific need, dude?”
Like he’s just too damn busy to be bothered.
“Next thing you say to me better be I’m sorry.”
He looks at me, blinks, not sure what he just heard.
“That’s mine down there.” I nod toward Ania, who’s shaking up a drink for somebody.
He really looks hard at me now and pushes his bar stool back a little.
“Sit the fuck down, Nancy,” I tell him “Take it easy before you do something really, really stupid.”
His buddy leans backwards and looks at me around his partners shoulder. His eyebrows are all bunched up like he’s DeNiro or something. I catch his eye and the wannabe badass just turtles up and leans back, looking straight ahead.
“Doesn’t change the fact that she has a nice ass, though, right?” My guy holds his hands up off the bar like it’s a robbery. “Hey, you’re a lucky guy. I just wish I was tapping that.” He’s grinning and he’s also scared shitless. The puke is trying hard to salvage some sort of face, but the corners of his mouth are all twitchy.
I just keep staring at him.
“Okay, look man, no problem. No harm, no foul.” Then he starts nodding and takes a drink of his imported beer. Dribbles a little bit of it down his chin, wipes it off quick and then takes another drink. He’s looking straight ahead now too and he’s still nodding to himself.
“Listen, really, we’re good here,” he says quietly.
“We’re good here?” I laugh a quick bark. “No, no, I don’t think so. See, I’m in here all the time. I see you again, there won’t be any cute talk.” I give him a shrug and smile. “So, like, get the fuck out…now.”
He doesn’t say anything to that but he sure is listening real close.
I lean in.
“That, ass face, is my specific need.”
He gets up slowly, digs his wallet out and puts some money on the bar. Then he acts like he’s checking messages on his fucking Blackberry and puts it in his pocket. He straightens his suit a little and looks over to the other guy who looks like he’d rather be anywhere else right now.
“Let’s get going, Chris. We’ve got to be downtown by six and I don’t want to be late for that dinner. Going to hit the john and we’re outta here.” He walks off to the restrooms.
My bartender already has a new beer in front of me. I look down at Ania and she finally sees me. I tip my bottle at her and flash my best smile. I get up and start to head down the bar towards her but I change my mind. Just for the hell of it. It won’t take a minute.
One other customer is in there and he zips up, goes to the sink. My guy finishes, turns and bang he’s looking right at me. Three feet away. His eyes get big and I hit him hard, right the fuck in the nose, then take a little quick step to the side for a good angle.
He already sounds like a little girl but I pop him another good one on the side of the head, right on the ear. Down to one knee he goes. His nose is leaking bad, blood streaming through his fingers. Fat red splatters on the tile floor already. I take a step back so I don’t get any of that shit on me.
“The fuck’s going on?” The older guy combing his hair at the mirror says, looking at me in the reflection.
“Fucking gay bastard,” I say. “We don’t need them in this bar. Just making sure he don’t come back.”
My boy is all whiny and shit. Standing now but bent over at the waist and moaning with both hands to his nose.
The guy at the sink shakes his head and shoves the suit sideways on his way out. “Fucking faggots are worse than shines these days. They’re everywhere. Like it’s fucking L.A. or something.” The old boy goes out, still muttering.
“Stand up straight, pussy,” I tell the twink.
He does but he’s still got his hands on his face.
“Look, I’m leaving, okay?” His voice is muffled and all quivery.
“Not okay.”
His eyes go back and forth and he’s thinking what to say and how to get the fuck out of here.
I still don’t say anything.
“Wha…What do you want, man?”
“You forgot to say you’re sorry. Then asshole, and only then, will we be good here.”
“Hey, how’s my girl doin’?”
“Hey yourself. I was wondering how long you were going to keep sitting down there. Playing hard to get?” She gives me a wink, blows some hair out of her face and hooks a loose strand of that gold back behind an ear. The blond ponytail look has never been worn better.
“You were too busy. I didn’t want to interfere with the help. Patrik wouldn’t appreciate that.” I smile again and sit down right in front of her. As I’m saying that I realize what she had just said. She had been watching me watch her. Dangerous girl. I add that to the restroom scene just now. Acting like I’m some high school quarterback defending the prom queen’s honor. Shit, this was getting way out of hand. Next thing you know, I’ll be sending her fucking Hallmark cards.
Ania throws the bar rag over her shoulder and kind of hops up, leaning over the bar as far as she can up on her elbows.
“Oh, I think it’s a little late to be worried about you interfering with me, don’t you, big boy?” The smile she gives me this time is sly, nice and dirty.
She laughs quietly and takes my hand — the one that hurts like a bastard now, and gives me a little squeeze.
She’s still got that ‘come to me’ smile but slides slowly backwards and does the little hop thing back to the floor. It’s all I can do not to jump right over the bar after her. At this point, I don’t give a rat’s ass how out of control this is getting, or how dangerous to my business I think she might be, or how this is not the way I usually roll with women.