“The man and woman are blessed by an elder,” he said. “That person could be anyone of standing in a community, even a senior member of a household. A trusted guarantor acknowledges the union on behalf of the clan.” His fingers climbed her spine and settled at the base of her skull. Her nape tingled. “After that, the deed is consummated. There’s no ceremony. No structure. Nothing witnessed by anyone else.”
“Just sex?”
“I know you didn’t have experience, but did that feel like ‘just sex’ to you?”
Kavya shook her head. He continued to stroke the back of her neck, which had suddenly taken on more significance. He seemed to catch himself doing so, but he didn’t stop. He pulled back loose strands to bare her skin completely.
“No, not casual. It was . . . intense. Concentrated? A thousand things distilled into one moment.”
“Which moment?”
His chest had stilled. He wasn’t breathing, awaiting her answer. She didn’t know what he wanted to hear, or whether knowing would change what she said.
Truth or lie. Both held separate dangers.
The truth was all that mattered.
“When you could’ve bit my nape,” she whispered.
A shudder worked up his long body, with its elegant bones and lithe, taut muscles. “It would’ve been . . . uneven. I can’t explain it any more eloquently. For you it would’ve been just another part of the experience. For me . . .”
Kavya pushed onto her elbow and found an angle where the lights from the slatted window shone across his face. Just his mouth. She would’ve liked to see his eyes, but his lips were so expressive. Everything about him was expressive. Were all the Pendray this way? So open? Not so constantly guarded? She envied them, if that was true.
She cupped his cheek, feeling for truth. “It would’ve been the act of joining without the meaning. That significance must be woven through every fiber of your ancient soul.” She softly kissed his mouth. “You stopped to protect yourself, didn’t you?”
“Yes. A life ritual with nothing behind it. I couldn’t do that. I would’ve thought I had more claim to you than I do.”
Kavya shivered. Again she was overcome by the idea of being bound to Tallis. Married? How could she even think the word if she didn’t love . . .
Oh, by the Dragon.
I do love him.
The back of her neck practically burned with the passion and possession he’d kept from them both.
Her entire life, all she’d wanted was the right to make her own choices. She didn’t want to be another Indranan woman caught in the net of vicious traditions and deadly cycles. With Tallis, however, she almost wished he had taken that choice from her. Then she could love him, have him, keep him, without the staggering fear of picturing their future. One on the run? Constantly? They’d break into hotels and fly airplanes through snowstorms—not because they wanted to, but because external forces toyed with their lives.
She wouldn’t accept him on those terms. She wouldn’t let him accept her on those terms.
Kavya loved Tallis of Pendray. As with so many instances, she was glad he had no access to her thoughts. She needed to bury that realization so deeply that even she couldn’t bring it into the light and admire its bright prism of colors and hope. Keeping her heart intact depended on it.
He turned his face so that his mouth nestled in her palm, pulling her free of her trembling reverie. “How do the Indranan marry? No one would ever tell me.”
Ah, the Indranan way. That would help keep her fancies in check. She wanted nothing to do with love and a forever partner if it meant doing so by the dictates of her clan.
“Kavya?” He kissed her fingertips.
“The Indranan are bound with their minds. They . . . open themselves. All their thoughts. They throw open the doors and cupboards and boxes—everything that holds a piece of a secret. It can take days. Imagine how much of your life resides in your mind. All that makes you Tallis. And all that makes me Kavya.” She hunched her shoulders to wiggle deeper under the covers. “I’ve never been able to fathom that.”
“Revealing every detail? No, I can’t even imagine.” He laughed a little. “But look what we did here. You were a virgin. You offered me that rare gift, and I managed to believe I could make it worth your while.”
“You worried about disappointing me?”
“And hurting you, yes.”
Stated so bluntly, Kavya realized just how easily he could’ve taken advantage of her willingness. Knowing his strength, his size, his passions—now she understood the care he’d taken to keep her safe. Another man might not have been so vigilant, while still being generous in giving her exactly what her body had demanded: a frenzy of release.
“You made me wild, Tallis. That was a gift.”
“It was in you the whole time. But it was fun to see you let loose with me.”
“I felt like a different woman.” After a deep breath, she kissed him again and closed her eyes. Darkness. Safe to say whatever she needed to say. “The woman in your mind. Did she ever bring out that impulse in you? To bite her?”
He sat up, leaving her cold. “No.”
“And she never offered it as temptation?”
“No.”
Each refutation was stark. His skin became a field of goose bumps beneath her hands.
“Then she might not have known the ritual,” she said. “Is it well known? You had no luck learning the Indranan way.”
“I can’t imagine many Pendray bragging about our customs, not among the Five Clans. We’re already considered little better than dogs. All those werewolf stories through the years. Rabid canines. Wouldn’t the other clans love to learn how close to home those stories hit? We fuck like animals.”
Her chest was tight. Breathing had become some magical skill possessed by other people. “So you said.”
“And we marry like animals. Biting and scratching. If a couple doesn’t emerge the next morning wearing each other’s war wounds, people start to talk.”
“No passion?”
“No trust.” He turned on the bed and caught her face in his hands. The gentleness he was capable of demonstrating was all the more potent when contrasted with his hurricane potential. “How deep to bite. How long. How much pain to inflict and take. I suppose it’s the physical flip side to what you Indranan do. Lay everything bare and see if a union withstands the process.”
He kissed her, licked her bottom lip, delved inside to stroke his tongue over hers. She exhaled through her nose and sank more deeply into his attentions.
Only when he pulled back did she find the presence of mind to bring reality back into their room. “But that wasn’t us. Not here tonight. This was . . . Thank you, Tallis.”
“You thanked me in the laundry.”
“I meant it then, too.”
With a lopsided grin, he ran his hands through his hair. The motion lifted his arms, stretched his chest, bared the undeniable masculinity of his underarms. “Anytime, goddess. I’ve never been thanked for something so easy to give.”
“Easy? I don’t believe that.”
They held each other’s gaze in darkness shredded into strips by rainbow beams of light. “You probably shouldn’t, no. But the issue remains: What now? Morning will come and, as much as I hate to admit it, we can’t stay here for weeks and continue exploring each other until we’re half crazed.”
“Among the Pendray—does that crazed feeling wear off?”