"It sounds like a very fancy video game," I said.
"It is, in a way. But it's more like Dungeons and Dragons. It's an endless series of closed rooms with dangers on the other side. You don't dare take it a step at a time. You take it a hundredth of a step at a time. Your questions are like, 'Now this isn't a question, but if it entered my mind to ask this question—which I'm not about to do—concerning what might happen if I looked at this door here—and I'm not touching it, I'm not even in the next room—what do you suppose you might do?'
And the program crunches on that, decides if you fulfilled the conditions for getting a great big cream pie in the face, then either throws it or allows as how it might just move from step A to step A
Prime. Then you say, 'Well, maybe I am looking at that door.' And sometimes the program says 'You looked, you looked, you dirty crook!' And the fireworks start."
Silly as all that sounds, it was very close to the best explanation she was ever able to give me about what she was doing.
"Are you telling him everything, Lisa?" I asked her.
"Well, not everything. I didn't mention the four cents."
Four cents? Oh my God.
"Lisa, I didn't want that, I didn't ask for it, I wish he'd never—"
"Calm down, Yank. It's going to be all right."
"He kept records of all that, didn't he?"
"That's what I spend most of my time doing. Decoding his records."
"How long have you known?"
"About the seven hundred thousand dollars? It was in the first disc I cracked."
"I just want to give it back."
She thought that over, and shook her head.
"Victor, it'd be more dangerous to get rid of it now than it would be to keep it. It was imaginary money at first. But now it's got a history. The IRS thinks it knows where it came from. The taxes are paid on it. The State of Delaware is convinced that a legally chartered corporation disbursed it. An Illinois law firm has been paid for handling it. Your bank has been paying interest on it. I'm not saying it would be impossible to go back and wipe all that out, but I wouldn't like to try. I'm good, but I don't have Kluge's touch."
"How could he do all that? You say it was imaginary money. That's not the way I thought money worked. He could just pull it out of thin air?"
Lisa patted the top of her computer console, and smiled at me.
"This is money, Yank," she said, and her eyes glittered.
At night she worked by candlelight so she wouldn't disturb me. That turned out to be my downfall.
She typed by touch, and needed the candle only to locate software.
So that's how I'd go to sleep every night, looking at her slender body bathed in the glow of the candle. I was always reminded of melting butter dripping down a roasted ear of corn. Golden light on golden skin.
Ugly, she called herself. Skinny. It was true she was thin. I could see her ribs when she sat with her back impossibly straight, her tummy sucked in, her chin up. She worked in the nude these days, sitting in lotus position. For long periods she would not move, her hand lying on her thighs, then she would poise, as if to pound the keys. But her touch was light, almost silent. It looked more like yoga than programming. She said she went into a meditative state for her best work.
I had expected a bony angularity, all sharp elbows and knees. She wasn't like that. I had guessed her weight ten pounds too low, and still didn't know where she put it. But she was soft and rounded, and strong beneath.
No one was ever going to call her face glamorous. Few would even go so far as to call her pretty.
The braces did that, I think. They caught the eye and held it, drawing attention to that unsightly jumble.
But her skin was wonderful. She had scars. Not as many as I had expected. She seemed to heal quickly, and well.
I thought she was beautiful.
I had just completed my nightly survey when my eye was caught by the candle. I looked at it, then tried to look away.
Candles do that sometimes. I don't know why. In still air, with the flame perfectly vertical, they begin to flicker. The flame leaps up then squats down, up and down, up and down, brighter and brighter in regular rhythm, two or three beats to the second—
—and I tried to call out to her, wishing the candle would stop its flickering, but already I couldn't speak—
—I could only gasp, and I tried once more, as hard as I could, to yell, to scream, to tell her not to worry, and felt the nausea building...
I tasted blood. I took an experimental breath, did not find the smells of vomit, urine, feces. The overhead lights were on.
Lisa was on her hands and knees leaning over me, her face very close. A tear dropped on my forehead. I was on the carpet, on my back.
"Victor, can you hear me?"
I nodded. There was a spoon in my mouth. I spit it out.
"What happened? Are you going to be all right?"
I nodded again, and struggled to speak.
"You just lie there. The ambulance is on its way."
"No. Don't need it."
"Well, it's on its way. You just take it easy and—"
"Help me up."
"Not yet. You're not ready."
She was right. I tried to sit up, and fell back quickly. I took deep breaths for a while. Then the doorbell rang.
She stood up and started to the door. I just managed to get my hand around her ankle. Then she was leaning over me again, her eyes as wide as they would go.
"What is it? What's wrong now?"
"Get some clothes on," I told her. She looked down at herself, surprised.
"Oh. Right."
She got rid of the ambulance crew. Lisa was a lot calmer after she made coffee and we were sitting at the kitchen table. It was one o'clock, and I was still pretty rocky. But it hadn't been a bad one.
I went to the bathroom and got the bottle of Dilantin I'd hidden when she moved in. I let her see me take one.
"I forgot to do this today," I told her.
"It's because you hid them. That was stupid."
"I know." There must have been something else I could have said. It didn't please me to see her look hurt. But she was hurt because I wasn't defending myself against her attack, and that was a bit too complicated for me to dope out just after a grand mal.
"You can move out if you want to," I said. I was in rare form.
So was she. She reached across the table and shook me by the shoulders. She glared at me.
"I won't take a lot more of that kind of shit," she said, and I nodded, and began to cry.
She let me do it. I think that was probably best. She could have babied me, but I do a pretty good job of that myself.
"How long has this been going on?" she finally said. "Is that why you've stayed in your house for thirty years?"
I shrugged. "I guess it's part of it. When I got back they operated, but it just made it worse."
"Okay. I'm mad at you because you didn't tell me about it, so I didn't know what to do. I want to stay, but you'll have to tell me how. Then I won't be mad anymore."
I could have blown the whole thing right there. I'm amazed I didn't. Through the years I've developed very good methods for doing things like that. But I pulled through when I saw her face.
She really did want to stay. I didn't know why, but it was enough.
"The spoon was a mistake," I said. "If there's time, and you can do it without risking your fingers, you could jam a piece of cloth in there. Part of a sheet, or something. But nothing hard." I explored my mouth with a finger. "I think I broke a tooth."
"Serves you right," she said. I looked at her, and smiled, then we were both laughing. She came around the table and kissed me, then sat on my knee.