I put down my fork. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You must really like this boy if you’re so concerned about us talking to him.”
“I can’t believe this,” I said. “He was here for five minutes, and you’re acting like I’m going to run off with him. When I do start dating, I’m never bringing any guys here.” I picked up my fork and stabbed my lasagna with it. I didn’t take my eyes off my plate, but I could tell my parents were exchanging exasperated looks.
Dad changed the subject and talked about work. Mom made remarks every once in a while. I finished dinner in silence.
Before I went to sleep, Mom came in to talk to me. She sat down on the side of my bed like she’d done when I was a little girl and she told me bedtime stories. “I’m sorry about dinner,” she said. “I guess I’m not quite ready for you to grow up.”
“Look on the bright side. I might never get asked out.”
“Yes, you will. You’re beautiful, intelligent, and talented.” She stroked my hair and sighed. “Soon you’ll be busy trying to keep the herds of boys away.”
“No, I won’t. That’s your job.”
“And I’ll do it with great diligence.”
“Mom, he really did come to talk about Elise.” I don’t know why I told her that again. Perhaps it was because I didn’t want her to be disappointed when Josh never showed up again. Maybe it was because I wanted her to convince me otherwise. But she didn’t. She just kissed me and said goodnight.
Chapter 5
I was nervous the next day at the bus stop. I almost hoped Josh and Elise wouldn’t come. What would I say to Elise? “Hi there. Ready for another day of Honors English?” Or perhaps, “How’s your sense of wonder this morning?” The only thing I could do was hope she said something to me first.
I’d begun to think I would end up riding the bus after all when Josh pulled up.
Elise opened her window. “Hey, do you want a ride?”
“Sure.” I climbed into the back seat.
No one said anything for a minute. The quiet panicked me. I could picture the whole long, silent ride to school.
I was developing a healthy aversion to Nissans, when Elise finally spoke. “I’m sorry I laid into you yesterday. It’s just . . . I’m the type of person who wants to experience life instead of listening to teachers tell me about it. Carpe diem. Seize the day.”
“Right,” Josh said. “The way you live life, what you mostly experience is detentions and hangovers. Why don’t you try seizing something else for a while?”
Elise rolled her eyes. “That was today’s motivational quote, brought to you by HolierThanThou.com.”
Elise and Josh were obviously not having one of their better days together.
I looked out the windows longingly.
Elise turned back toward me and went on, “Anyway, I’m sorry about yesterday. I want to be your friend, but I have to warn you that I’m not some straight-laced scholar like the rest of your friends. I don’t want to sit around and discuss quantum physics or Machiavelli. Life is too short for that crap.”
I didn’t know what to say. All I could think about was what a waste it was. Elise had a Mensa IQ and she was shrugging off school and learning like it meant nothing. Like that kind of intelligence wasn’t a gift. I knew I was smart, but those shiny new As on my report cards had come through hard work. They’d come through long nights of studying when it would have been easier to watch TV.
“You’re selling yourself short,” I said. “You need to think about your future.”
“I am,” Elise replied glibly. “I plan to be partying in the future too.”
Josh shifted his gaze to her, disapproving. “You’ll be living it up with all the other alcoholics at the homeless shelter.”
Elise waved a dismissive hand in his direction. “And you’ll be boxed up in a cubicle, crunching little numbers for a living. Which is worse?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he said. “While I’m in Hawaii for two weeks of paid vacation, you’ll be in detox.”
Elise sat back in her seat with a frustrated thud. “I’ll get a degree and job eventually. Which is all the more reason to have fun now. School and work—it’s all drudgery. It’s being a cog in a machine that makes money for someone else.”
“I don’t like every class,” I said, “but you have to take the good with the bad.” I leaned toward her, trying to connect to a part of her that I knew was there somewhere. “Haven’t you ever learned something that made you feel like your mind had physically expanded—that you became more—just because you understood something new?”
For a moment I saw a flicker of recognition in her eyes, and then it was gone—pushed away. “If school makes you happy, great. Spit out as many assignments as your teacher asks for. But getting good grades never won me friends, increased my popularity, or gave me something to do on Saturday nights. So I’d appreciate it if everyone would let me live my own life instead of trying to make me live theirs.”
Josh shook his head, resigned, and turned on the radio. He flipped through the stations without saying anything else. Elise took out her cell phone and read through text messages. I went back to looking out the window and wondered how many times Josh planned on picking me up in the morning.
I mentally compiled a list of excuses to get out of this new rituaclass="underline" I was sick, running late, had to go to school early for tutoring. Better yet—I had to log more time driving for my learner’s permit, so I needed to drive to school with my mom every morning. Mom would probably agree to it. All I had to do was tell her I had a massive crush on Josh and then ask her how long you should know a guy before it was all right to French kiss. She’d be falling over herself to get me out of his car.
“Get this,” Elise said, scowling at her phone. “Bella hooked up with Carter.”
Josh pulled onto the street that led to the high school. “Is that Isabell or Isn’tabell? I could never keep track of the Bellas.”
“Bella Rogers,” Elise said. “The slut.”
As though interpreting for me, Josh said, “Carter was Elise’s boyfriend. Bella Rogers—Isn’tabell to me—was one of Elise’s loyal friends that she was distraught about leaving behind.”
Elise kept staring at her phone’s screen. “I’ve been gone for what—twenty minutes?”
“Maybe it’s just gossip,” I said.
Elise flashed her phone at me. The picture on the screen showed a girl in a bikini top lip-locked with a bronzed, shirtless guy.
“Oh,” I said. “I guess not.”
Elise turned back in her seat and began texting with much more force than the process required. She muttered as she did this, and despite all the flack she’d given school, she had a thesaurus full of synonyms for the word slut.
* * *
I didn’t see Elise when I went to lunch. I figured she had either skipped out on school altogether because of the Carter-Bella thing or found other people to eat with—people who weren’t straight-laced scholars. I didn’t know whether to feel sorry for her or offended.
I wasn’t sure how much Carter had meant to her. She hadn’t seemed too attached to her boyfriend when she’d ogled Chad yesterday. But then, to see your friend kissing your boyfriend—and kissing him out in public where people could snap photos and send them to you—ouch. Low blow. Hallmark should make sympathy cards for those sorts of occasions.
I hadn’t expected to see Elise in English, either, but she was already sitting at her table, speed-reading Macbeth, when I came in.
I walked over. “How’s it going?”
She didn’t look up. “I’m mired in Macbeth. That pretty much says it all.”
“We missed you at lunch. Are you hungry?” It was completely juvenile, but I was fishing to see whether she’d skipped out or found someone more worthy to sit with.
She flipped over a page. “Josh took me out. I had three McDonald’s hot fudge sundaes.”