I blushed. “Well, how would I know how you do it? After that whole business of slave-making ants, I’ll believe anything.” And then I laughed myself because giving butterflies lethal injections did seem silly. “You mean you can’t tell how old a butterfly is by counting its rings?”
I looked back at the trays. People at school had been seeing Bob differently ever since his make over. The girls at chess club flirted shamelessly with him. Even Faith and Caitlin had commented on his new hotness. But it wasn’t until that moment that I saw Bob differently. I saw him in Mexico surrounded by thousands of monarch butterflies, like petals in an orange and black field of flowers. I saw him in the outback of Australia, pushing his way through the overgrowth, searching for rarities. It all seemed exotic.
Bob leaned against the counter next to me. “If I promised not to hit you, would you like to go out again sometime?”
“Sure,” I said, hoping I wasn’t blushing again.
He smiled. “I’ll call you sometime.”
“All right.”
The doorbell rang and chess-club members began coming in. Josh showed up with Cameron and Jenny. Josh seemed tense and irritable all through our painting session. I told myself it was because he was jealous Bob had taken me in his car; jealous that Bob was sitting beside me talking to me while we painted. But I knew the chances were equally great that it was because Josh had been stuck taking Cameron and Jenny here and was now sandwiched between them. Cameron felt compelled to crack a stupid joke every other minute, and Jenny always laughed at them.
When we were done, Josh offered to drive me home.
“If it’s out of your way,” Bob said, “I can give Cassidy a ride.”
Josh sent him an insincere smile. “It’s not out of my way.”
I had barely sat down in Josh’s car before he turned to me and asked, “What was that all about between you and Bob?”
“Nothing. He just asked if I’d like to go out sometime.”
Josh tapped his hands against the steering wheel. “So, you’re going to date Bob again?”
“He promised not to hit me this time.”
“And you believe him?”
“I don’t think you have room to talk after you sprained Courtney’s ankle.”
Josh turned on the car and pulled into the street. “It wasn’t me. It was the three other people we ran into.”
“Bob and I will even be able to go skating, because I know how.”
Josh eyed me suspiciously. “I thought you said none of the girls in Pullman skated.”
“I said it was hard to do. I happen to be one of those who didn’t mind going thirty miles an hour straight down a hill. I’m a thrill seeker at heart.”
“Which is why you’re willing to go out with Bob again.”
“Bob doesn’t have any stupid logical theories about dating.”
Josh took his eyes off the road long enough to give me a meaningful stare. “My theories aren’t stupid.”
“So how are they working?”
“Lousy. I can’t go out with anyone else while Elise thinks I’m dating you.”
“I never told her we were exclusive.”
“Elise knows I date one girl at a time.”
“I said you could end it anytime you wanted,” I reminded him. “Do you want me to dump you for Bob?”
“No,” Josh said stiffly. “I don’t want to be dumped for Bob.”
“Then dump me for whoever you think is the logical choice.”
Josh shrugged off the comment. “I haven’t found a logical choice.”
“They’re stupid theories,” I said again. “Call me a romantic, but romance is supposed to have something to do with it.”
Josh looked straight ahead. “If you want dating to work, it has to be logical. Take you, for example. Logically, I could never really ask you out.”
“Why not? Your German shepherd wouldn’t approve?”
“It would jeopardize your friendship with Elise. Think about it. What would happen if we had a fight? Elise would have to choose sides.”
“And naturally you assume she’d choose yours?”
Josh didn’t answer my question. I’m not sure he was even listening. “You couldn’t come to our house anymore because you wouldn’t want to see me. You wouldn’t ride with us in the morning for the same reason. Every time Elise mentioned me, you’d say something snide. It would be bad all around.”
“Why? Are you a total jerk when you break up with a girl?”
“Not me. Everybody. That’s how dating works. Somebody always gets hurt. The whole “Let’s be friends” business is a myth. You always end up avoiding your ex-girlfriends. I don’t want to end up avoiding you.”
“Thanks, Josh.” I tried unsuccessfully to keep my voice light. “I’ve never been so flattered by someone telling me he doesn’t want to date me. I’ll remember not to ask you to the Tolo dance.”
“That’s not what I meant, Cassidy. You can ask me if you want.”
“But you’d tell me no.”
“No, I wouldn’t.”
“You’d say yes, but then you’d avoid me for the rest of your life?”
He exhaled deeply. “You don’t understand. I guess I shouldn’t expect you to. You’re only a sophomore.”
“Oh, now I’m immature.” I folded my arms and looked out of the window.
“You see, we haven’t even dated and we’re fighting. It would never work. I rest my case.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry,” I retorted. “I hadn’t planned on asking you to the Tolo.”
“Oh? Who were you going to ask?”
“I don’t know. It’s months away. I have to find a guy I’m going to want to avoid after we break up.”
“You’ll probably ask Bob.”
“I could stand to avoid Bob.”
Josh shifted his hands on the steering wheel. “You know, I’m the one who took Bob clothes shopping. I told him to get contacts. I made him get a decent hair cut. I even coached him on what to say to girls. Bob isn’t Bob. Bob is me.”
“Why do you care whether or not I go with Bob? You don’t want to go with me.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t want to go with you,” he told me. “I said I shouldn’t.”
“Oh yes, you shouldn’t, but you wouldn’t say no if I asked. You’re so patronizing, Josh. Do you think I need pity dates?”
“This has nothing to do with pity. This is logic.” He pulled up in front of my house and put the car in park. “I’m leaving for college next year. And even if we did go to the same college, you wouldn’t be there for two years. You’ll be here doing high school stuff. Football games, prom—you’ll probably have a different date for every night of the week.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to have to worry about a long-distance romance.”
I took hold of the door handle. “You’ve already thought out the next two years of my life. That isn’t logic. That’s insanity.”
“You probably won’t even call me while I’m away,” he went on. “I don’t think I should go to the Tolo with you, after all.”
“I never asked you to.” I got out of the car and slammed the door shut.
I found Mom in the kitchen cleaning out the fridge. Our table was covered with condiments, milk jugs, and all the vegetables mom stoically brought out at dinner but that Dad and I mostly ignored.
I plunked down on one of the kitchen chairs. “I’m giving up on men. I’m sorry, but you’ll never have grandchildren.”
She dunked her rag in a bucket of water. “What happened?”
“Apparently I’m so bad at relationships, I now have guys breaking up with me who I’ve never even dated.”
She peered around the fridge door at me. “What?”
“Josh just gave me a list of reasons why he’d never go out with me.”
Mom’s eyebrows dipped together. “Were you flirting with him? Did he feel pursued?”
“No. We were talking about logic. It was out of the blue.”
Mom peeled off her rubber gloves and stood up. “Honey, I think there’s something wrong with that family. Why don’t you stop hanging around them? I’ll let you take my car to school.”