During PE Samantha and I were on the same wiffle-ball team. She usually ignored me during any stint together, but the first time we were in the outfield she came and stood next to me.
“I hear you asked Josh to the Tolo. You certainly believe in making advance reservations, don’t you?”
“It wasn’t like that.” I didn’t say anymore because I couldn’t describe what it actually was like between Josh and me. I still wasn’t sure myself.
“Getting a little desperate?”
I tried, I really did, to remember that Samantha and I had once been friends—that somewhere under her perfectly-styled hair and tanning-bed tan was a person I had liked. It didn’t do any good though. I couldn’t keep the contempt out of my voice. “Samantha, why do you constantly harp on me about Josh? What is your problem?”
“You’re my problem,” she said. “You and Elise.”
I let out a disbelieving huff. “What did we ever do to you?”
“You turned Josh against me.”
“Samantha, I think you’ve fallen off your cheerleading pyramid one too many times.”
She threw a look of contempt right back at me. “Don’t act so innocent. I know you said bad things about me.”
“No, I didn’t.” And then, as soon as I said it, I realized I had. Elise and I had talked about Samantha in the car sometimes. We had a running joke about the cheerleading gene that enabled some girls to do leg kicks in tacky miniskirts without feeling any embarrassment. My guilt must have shown on my face.
“Sure, you didn’t,” Samantha said.
“I’ve never tried to make him dislike you.” At least not much. Granted I didn’t want him to like her. I’d hoped he wouldn’t. But I hadn’t gone out of my way to sabotage her.
“You know,” she said, her gaze icy and cool on mine, “It’s not only my fault that we aren’t friends anymore.” Then she walked away.
I watched her saunter across the outfield with an uncomfortable feeling growing in my stomach. Guilt. All the things I’d said about her to Josh had seemed justified at the time, harmless. But now they seemed petty. As though my subconscious had been waiting for the opportunity to ambush me, I began to remember other things, little incidents in junior high. The way Anjie and I had resented the time Samantha spent with her other friends. How sometimes we’d given her the cold shoulder because of it.
I told myself that things wouldn’t have turned out any different, even if Anjie and I had always been model friends. But that was the thing about second-guessing things you’ve done in the past. There’s no way to know for sure.
After school, Elise didn’t show up at my locker. She wasn’t at hers, either. I finally went out to the parking lot, watching for her as I walked. I hoped she hadn’t made up with the King of Slime.
I ran into Josh and two of his friends on the way out. “Hi, Cassidy,” he said. “How’s it going?”
“All right.”
“Troy, Jared, this is a friend of mine, Cassidy Woodruff.”
I said hello to them, and they helloed back. Then they talked about basketball to Josh. They wanted him to join PHS’s team this season.
“Ask for later work hours,” Troy told Josh. “It’s your parents’ store. What are they going to do, fire you?”
“You have all summer to make money,” Jared added. “It’s your senior year. You gotta play some ball.”
“Okay,” Josh said with a reluctant smile. “I’ll try out.”
There was cheering and knuckle-bumping at this pronouncement. I shouldn’t have been happy. This meant when basketball season started, I wouldn’t be riding home with Josh anymore. But somehow I was happy for him anyway. Josh deserved to have fun.
When we got to the bottom of the stairs, Troy and Jared went their own way. Josh and I headed across the parking lot. Josh pulled his keys from his pocket. “Now you can’t tell Elise I was embarrassed to introduce you to my friends. I just did.” He smiled triumphantly at me. “I’ll pin the blame for our breakup on you yet.”
“I never said you were embarrassed to let your friends know my name. I said you were embarrassed to let them know we dated. It’s still you’re fault.”
“If you want, I’ll tell them we dated.” Josh glanced over his shoulder, as if looking for more friends. “Is there something in particular you’d like me to say we did together? How about all those expensive restaurants I took you to because I’m such a nice guy?”
“I’m glad I’ve provided so much amusement in your life.”
He gave me one of his warm smiles. “I brought you flowers too, because I’m soooo romantic.”
I thought of my conversation with Samantha. “Speaking of dating, who did you tell about us going to the Tolo?”
He shrugged. “A few people. Elise, some of my friends—you know, the ones I was too embarrassed to tell about us before.”
“Samantha?”
“Yeah, I told her too.”
“Why did you tell her?”
“She called me, and we were talking—”
“Samantha called you?” And she had the nerve to imply that I was throwing myself at him.
Josh jangled his keys. “Yeah, she calls every once in awhile. Anyway, I got the feeling she was going to ask me to the dance, so I told her I was going with you. Why? What did Samantha say to you about it?”
“That I turned you against her.”
He cocked his head. “Why would she say that?”
I cleared my throat uncomfortably. “I made it clear I didn’t like her . . .”
“That has nothing to do with it. I’m not interested in Samantha.”
“Wrong number of brothers and sisters?”
“No. She always picks apart everybody and everything. After a while you get tired of hearing about the shortcomings of humanity. So rest at ease. You had nothing to do with it—not in that regard, anyway.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t sure what he meant by that. “Well, that’s a good thing, because I did a lousy job picking out Elise’s last boyfriend.”
We’d reached Josh’s car and Elise wasn’t there. “Where is my sister, anyway?” Josh and I both scanned the parking lot. We saw her off in the distance, walking through rows of cars towards us. As she came closer, I could see the anger on her face. Her jaw was clenched and her cheeks were flushed. Before we could say anything she said, “Did you hear?”
“Hear what?” I asked.
Elise didn’t answer. She just issued a stream of swearwords connected to Chad’s name.
Apparently they hadn’t gotten back together.
Josh opened his car door and slid inside. “Calm down and tell us what happened.”
Elise threw her backpack into the car. “He told everyone that the only reason he went out with me was because I’m easy. He says he and a few of his friends know from personal experience.”
I got into my seat. “Elise, you didn’t, you haven’t . . .”
She glared at me. “No, I haven’t! I can’t believe this. Not even you believe in me.” She got into the car and slammed the door.
Josh and I exchanged looks, then he started the car. I leaned toward Elise. “If you say you didn’t, I believe you.”
“Oh, good. That’s one person out of the whole high school. Everyone else thinks I’m a slut. They’re all whispering about me.” She turned to Josh. “Beat Chad up.”
He guided the car through the parking lot. “Sure, Elise.”
“I’m serious. Don’t you care about defending my honor?”
“Why should I,” he asked, “when you never have?”
She blinked at him in surprise. “Josh!”
His voice was calm but intense. “If you’d been the least bit concerned with your honor, you would have lived like you had some, and then nobody would believe Chad when he tells lies about you.”
She folded her arms stubbornly and looked out her window. “You don’t care about me.”
“My picking a fight with Chad won’t rebuild your reputation.”
“It would teach him a lesson.”