I heard the door open behind me and Bill’s voice said, ‘Are we using “met” in the biblical sense here?’
Bill and Josh gave each other the usual onceover, a bit like dogs who have to sniff each other’s bollocks before they decide a fight isn’t worth the bother. They’d never been friends, probably because they’d thought they were competitors for women. Neither had ever realized how wrong they were; Bill could never have bedded a woman without brains, and Josh never bedded one with an IQ greater than her age except by accident. Shelley had her pet theories on their respective motivations, but life’s too short to rerun that seminar.
‘So it’s all change then,’ Bill said once Josh had brought him up to speed on his reasons for visiting. ‘You off to Grand Cayman, me off to Australia.’
‘I thought you’d only just come back,’ Josh said.
‘I’m planning to move out there permanently. I’m marrying an Australian businesswoman.’
‘Is she pregnant?’ Josh blurted out without thinking. Seeing my face, he gave an apologetic smile and shrug.
‘No. And she’s not a rich widow either,’ Bill replied, not in the least put out. ‘I’m exercising free will here, Josh.’
I swear Josh actually changed colour. The thought of a man as dedicated as he was to a turbo-charged love life finally settling down, and from choice, was like suddenly discovering his body was harbouring a secret cancer. ‘So because of this woman, you’re going to get married and live in Australia? My God, Bill, that’s worse than moving to Birmingham. And what about the business? You can keep a finger on the financial pulse from anywhere you can plug in a PC, but you can’t run an investigation agency from the other side of the globe.’
‘The game plan is that I’ll sell my share of the agency here and start up again in Australia.’
Josh’s eyebrows rose. ‘At your age? Bill, you’re only a couple of years younger than me. You’re really planning to start from ground zero in a foreign country where you don’t even speak the language? God, that sounds too much like hard work to me. And what about Kate?’
I’d had enough. ‘Kate’s gotta go,’ I said brusquely. ‘People to be, places to see. Thanks for the invite, Josh. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.’ I wheeled round and headed back out of the door. I wasn’t sure where I was going, and I didn’t care. I knew I was behaving like a brat, but I didn’t care about that either. I stood on the corner outside the office, not even caring about the vicious northeasterly wind that was exfoliating every bit of exposed skin. A giggling flurry of young women in leg warmers and tights accompanied by a couple of well-muscled men enveloped me, waiting for the lights to change as they headed for rehearsals at the new dance theatre up the street, one of the handful of tangible benefits we got from being UK City of Drama for a year. Their energy and sense of direction shamed me, so I followed briskly in their wake and collected my car from the meter where I’d left it less than twenty minutes before. Given that I’d planned to be in the office for a couple of hours, somebody was going to get lucky.
One quick phone call and fifteen minutes later, I was walking round the big Regent Road Sainsbury’s with Detective Chief Inspector Della Prentice. When I’d called and asked her if she could spare half an hour, she’d suggested the supermarket. Her fridge was in the same dire straits as mine, and this way we could both stock up on groceries while we did the business. We took turns pushing the trolley, using our packs of toilet rolls as a convenient Maginot line between our separate purchases. I filled her in on the headstone scam in the fruit and veg. department, handing over a list of victims who should be able to pick out Williams and Constable in an identity parade. She promised to pass it on to one of her bright young things.
The outrageous tale of Cliff Jackson’s waste of police time kept us going as far as the chill cabinets. By the time we hit the breakfast cereals, I’d moved on to the problems at Mortensen and Brannigan, which lasted right up to hosiery and tampons. Della tried an emerald green ruffle against her copper hair. I nodded agreement. ‘I can see why Shelley suggested you putting your share of the business on the market too,’ Della said. ‘But that could present you with a different set of problems.’
‘I know,’ I sighed. ‘But what else can I do?’
‘You could talk to Josh,’ she said. Sometimes I forget the pair of them were at Cambridge together, they’re such different types. It’s true that they were both fascinated by money but while Josh wanted to make as much of it as possible, Della wanted to stop people like him doing it illegally. She was too bright for him to fancy, so he gave her his respect instead, and a few years ago he did me the biggest favour he’s ever managed when he introduced us.
‘What good would that do? Josh deals with multinational conglomerates, not backstreet detective agencies. I can’t believe he knows anyone with investigative skills and enough money to buy Bill out that he hasn’t already introduced me to. Besides, investigative skills never seem to go hand in hand with the acquisition of hard cash. You should know that.’
Della reached for a tin of black olives then turned her direct green eyes on me. ‘You’d be surprised at what Josh knows about,’ she said, giving a deliberate stage wink.
‘I’m not even going to ask if the Fraud task force is about to lose its major inside source,’ I said. ‘Besides, Josh is too busy extricating himself from business right now. He’s not about to get involved in setting up a whole new partnership for me. Did you know he’s retiring in a couple of weeks?’
Della nodded, looking depressed. ‘He’s been saying he was going to retire at forty since he was nineteen.’
‘I wouldn’t worry about it, Della. He’ll never retire. Not properly. He’ll die of boredom in a week if he’s not spreading fear and loathing in global financial institutions. He’ll always have fingers in enough pies to keep you busy.’
Whatever I’d said, it seemed to have deepened Della’s gloom. Then I twigged. If Josh was about to hit the big four zero, it couldn’t be far off for Della. And she wasn’t a multimillionaire with the world her oyster. She was a hardworking, ferociously bright woman in what was still a man’s world, a woman whose career commitment left her no space for relationships other than a few close friendships. I stopped the trolley by the spirits and liqueurs, put a hand on her arm and said, ‘He might have made the money, but you’ve made the difference.’
‘Yeah, and everything at the agency is going to work out for the best,’ she said grimly. We looked at each other, registering the self-pitying misery that was absorbing each of us. Then, suddenly and simultaneously, we burst out laughing. Nobody could get near the gin, but we didn’t give a damn. Like the song says, girls just wanna have fun.
Chapter 14
If you think it’s embarrassing to get a hysterical fit of the giggles with one of your best friends in Sainsbury’s wines and spirits department, try having your mobile phone ring in the middle of it. Now that’s really excruciating. At least when it’s someone as laconic as Gizmo, you don’t have to destroy your street cred totally by having a conversation. A series of grunts signifying ‘yes’ and ‘no’ will do just fine. I gathered he’d got the stuff I wanted and he was about to stuff it through my letter box unless I had any serious objections. I didn’t. Even if it was Police Harassment Week and Linda Shaw and her sidekick were back on my doorstep, they could hardly arrest Gizmo for impersonating a postman.