The fear that has been gripping at my heart for the last few months becomes overwhelming as I let it all out. My sobs are uncontrollable, making it impossible to speak one word.
“C’mon, baby.”
I float in the air, nestled in Tuck’s arms. The living room is noisy and full of bodies when we enter. I keep my head tucked down and avoid all eye contact.
“I’m just going to take a bath,” I say, as Tuck sets me down on the bed. He kneels before me, forcing me to look up at him.
“Blue, what are you not telling me? Did more happen that night? Do you know this man?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t know.” I drop my head again. “Can I just be alone tonight?”
“Blue.”
“I need to be alone.” My palm cups his face.
“I’ll start you a bath.”
He leaves without saying another word, and it hurts me even more when I thought I was at my lowest. I should go to Tuck and apologize, but I don’t have the energy to do it. By the time I make it to the bathroom, he’s gone, and I’m left with a hot tub of water. Sinking into it, I close my eyes and wish for everything and everyone to disappear, and I really do wonder if the inevitable blackness of death would even soothe this tortured soul of mine.
I let my body sink lower and lower under the water until I’m fully immersed.
Chapter 30
The morning sun is blinding as I roll over in the bed. It takes me a few moments to realize it’s empty, and that’s what wakes me up. I don’t remember much from last night or even how I made it to bed. Everything is a haze and not making sense, but the most unsettling is that Tuck isn’t by me.
Making my way down the hallway, I hear him and Noah out front talking, but have to stop at the bathroom first. Looks aren’t even on the agenda this morning; it’s the screaming bladder yelling at me. As soon as my knees bend, I feel the sting and crack of my fall in the parking lot yesterday. Two Band-Aids cover each of my kneecaps where the torn flesh lies. Resting my elbows on my thighs, I bury my face in my hands and cry for how I’ve fucked up this whole situation. I’m going to lose Tuck.
I pull up his boxers quickly, rolling over the top band so they stay in place, and rush down the hall.
Words fly out of my mouth before anything comes into view. “I’m sorry, Tuck, I’m so sorry.”
I don’t wait for his reaction before bounding smack dab in the middle of him on the couch.
“Please forgive me. I’m sorry.”
“Shhhh, it’s all right, baby.”
He pulls me into a tight hug, and I find that place that feels like home against his chest. Soon his hands are running through my hair as he offers up a constant string of reassurance.
When I realize Noah is in the room, I finally lift my head and offer him a weak smile, and then focus back on Tuck’s gorgeous face.
“Thank you for the Band-Aids, and I know it was an accident. You’d never hurt me, and I do trust you.” I settle myself on the couch facing both men. “I know with my whole heart the guy who was arrested and charged with the rapes and murders wasn’t my attacker. I’d recognize the eyes anywhere, and it’s not him.”
Noah stands and rubs his hands through his hair, with a pissed off look on his face. “And exactly when were you going to share this information with us?”
“Stop,” Tuck roars, and I jump. He wraps me tight to his side. “We went through all this yesterday. The point is Blue tried to block it out and it didn’t work. We think it was the asshole soccer player. He came to the gym yesterday.”
“I’m not sure if it’s him or not. I just don’t know.”
I keep the tears at bay. I refuse to break down at every fucking corner of this story.
“C’mon, I made breakfast. Let’s eat and enjoy this day. I’ll figure something out, Blue.” Tuck pulls me from the couch and drags me into the kitchen. He sure wasn’t lying about the spread on the table. It’s covered with all sorts of breakfast foods, from pastries, to eggs, and all sorts of meat.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“I can tell.” I slide out the dining room chair and take a seat. “Tuck, I really am sorry. I just don’t know how to act anymore.”
“It’s okay, Blue, we’ll get through this.” He ruffles the top of my hair, picks me up, and then sits with me in his lap. I pluck a strawberry from the table, making sure to lather it in the fruit dip he’s prepared, and plop it in his mouth.
“Is that a promise, Tuck?”
“I don’t do promises, I just do me.”
“I know.” This time I wipe some of the cream on the tip of his nose and giggle at his reaction.
“You little shit.”
I squeal as he rubs it into my chest, and then relax back into him.
“I just want to run away with you, Tuck, and start over.”
“I know, Blue, I know.”
***
A week passes with no more threats or sightings of any dangerous eyes. It’s taken seven long days to finally not jump out of my skin at every corner. Tuck’s tried his damnedest to stick right next to me, but with our hectic schedules, it’s never easy. I finally gave in and talked to Trainer Jay and Steve about all my issues. To say Jay was pissed would be the understatement of the century, but thank goodness I have Steve, who has reassured me over and over. He checked the campus surveillance and found nothing. He’s about the only peace of mind I have.
Tuck’s been on a manhunt for the soccer player, but nothing has surfaced. He knows any mention of it puts me straight over the edge, so he keeps it all in hushed tones with Noah. And I can handle that.
“Blue, what are you wearing tonight?” My gaze goes from the cracked tile on the floor up to a damn near naked Sophie.
The football team is having a little get-together at Noah and Tuck’s place. Actually, it will more than likely turn into a rager, but their parties always start out small. I overheard Tuck and Noah talking last night about needing a distraction.
“This.” I gesture with my hands.
“Seriously, Blue.”
“It’s not like I’m trying to land a guy or anything.”
“No, but you could at least dress up for Tuck once in a while and get out of those damn gym clothes.”
“He likes gym clothes.”
“He’d probably like a little sexy dress too. Just saying.”
“I’m not a whore like you.”
Sophie cringes and sends me an offensive glare, but then softens.
“Point taken.”
“Some things never change, Sophie. Let’s get moving. Wear this.” I toss a lacy dress her way, then make my way to the mirror to fix my hair up a bit and slap on some of Sophie’s make-up since pretty much all my stuff is at Tuck’s.
It was a damn battle letting me come here with Sophie. I’m pretty sure he stalked us all the way until we walked into the front doors. I thought it was quite odd when Steve waved to someone behind me, and then I only caught a glimpse of a black hoodie walking away.
“Okay, I’m ready.”
I turn to look at Sophie with her amazing thighs showing, the crest of her ass peeking out of the bottom of her dress, and her tits on high alert.
“Yes, you are, slut biscuit.”
Walking through the halls of the dorm sends chills through me. I know my attacker has been here lurking these halls, waiting for the perfect time to slip notes under my door. As I push the elevator button, I recoil before I touch it.
“Blue.” Sophie stares down at me and I freeze. “What’s going on?”
His finger has touched this very button. The finger attached to his hand that he beat me with before trying to rape me. My stomach lurches and I feel the bile begin to rise.
“Blue.”
Sophie’s voice is louder this time, and the elevator doors slowly glide open. Two men waltz by, and one of them brushes against my shoulder, snapping me back to reality. Mentally I scold myself for being so damn paranoid.
“I’m fine. Just thought I forgot something.”
“Well, if I’m a slut biscuit, you, my friend, are sure as hell a shitty liar. Let’s go.”