“She what?” I ask before anyone else has a chance to speak.
“She quit, Tuck.” Her mom rises and comes for me. “You broke her heart, and she’s done nothing but spiral out of control. I even went and spent a week with her trying to get her back on track.”
“Stop.” Her husband pulls her back and she instantly crumbles into him.
I’m left reeling from the thought of Blue quitting cheer with Nationals just a week away. There’s nothing that would stop that girl from cheering and kicking ass at it. It was her heart, life, and passion. It was everything to her, until…I collapse onto the floor as the realization of my selfish actions seeps through.
I kicked her out of my life straight into her own personal hell without a second thought, and it all stemmed from my fucking insecurity. When thoughts of her lifeless body lying on the running trail flood back in, my mind goes into overdrive. I tear my phone from my pocket and dial Noah’s number. When he doesn’t answer, I try Lane, then Sophie, and then go back to blowing up Noah’s phone. He finally answers after the tenth time.
“Dude, I’m in class, where your ass should be. What do you need?”
“Blue. Go find her now.”
“She’s not there,” Blue’s mom interrupts.
I turn my back to her and try to focus on Noah since he’s probably closest in distance to Blue. “Go find her now. She’s missing and quit cheer.”
“Oh, fuck.” His voice conveys his understanding. “Fill me in.”
I hear some rustling in the background and then silence on the other end and know Noah just left class.
“I’m in Colorado. Had a doctor appointment with her dad.”
“What the fuck are you thinking, Tuck?”
He’s pushed me to go back after Blue, but I never have. He knows about everything and still claims I was a fucking fool.
“Just listen, Noah. She was supposed to fly in today, but didn’t show. She quit cheer and won’t answer her phone. Go to her dorm.”
“On my way. I’ll call you.”
My first urge after he hangs up is to throw my phone across the room, but in this moment it’s my only hope.
“What’s going on, Tuck?”
I look up to her parents, and for the first time really feel the floor of my world fall out. The time away from Blue was torture, but this has no meaning or explanation of my feelings.
“She was attacked this fall on a running trail.” Tears stop me from going on. I keep them back and try to find my voice again. “That’s the weekend you guys were gone for fall break. I made her go to the hospital, but she refused to report it.”
I feel like the scum on the bottom of scum looking into her dad’s eyes and revealing this information about his only daughter. A wave of anger passes over his expression, but doesn’t last long before he goes into saving mode.
“Tuck, go find her. We’ll call the cops and campus security. Everyone stay focused.”
He bolts from the room before another word is spoken, and I’m left staring into the pained eyes of Blue’s mom.
“She was beaten.” Her words are barely a whisper.
The pain is too overwhelming, and I can’t stop my next actions. I stand and wrap her up in a hug and hold her as she sobs, trying offer some sort of comfort.
“I tried and tried, but she refused to get help or talk to anyone. I’m so sorry.”
“Was she…was she…” Her voice trails off into sobs. “Did he…”
“No.” I make her look up at me. “She was not raped.”
“So, you’re the voice?”
“What?” I step back from her, confused.
“She had nightmares when I was there, and she would always say it was a voice that saved her and would wake her up from it. I knew the dark lines under her eyes and the way she trembled weren’t Blue.”
My phone startles both of us as it starts to ring.
“Noah.”
“She’s not here. I talked to the security guard, and he claims he hasn’t seen Blue for weeks.”
“Ask for Steve. Blue always felt comfortable with him.”
“I talked to Steve. She’s gone, Tuck.”
“Fuck, I’m flying back on the next flight.” This time I do throw my phone as fucking hard as I can against a cabinet, sending glass in every direction.
“Tell me, Tuck, what did he say?”
“Nobody at the dorms has seen Blue for weeks.”
“Impossible. She’s been in school. She quit cheering, but told me she was still going to classes.”
Chapter 33 Three Weeks Earlier
The letters don’t even faze me anymore, and text messages are long gone since I’ve blocked number after number. The dead mice in shoeboxes have been quite the romantic touch.
I finally broke down and told the one person who’s been by my side everything. Steve. He’s checked in on me and made sure I had food or was leaving the dorm in time to get to class. He’s walked me to and from class when he has the time. Having him is the only thing that helped me keep my shit together while my mom was here, and I was barely able to fool her.
Steve’s uncle is a local detective, and he’s taking me to talk to him. I’m still unsure about telling a stranger everything, but I’m at a point of no return.
“Are you sure your uncle is a good guy?” I nervously rub my hand over the metal handle of the door.
“Blue, I can’t reassure you enough. I still can’t believe the shit you’ve put up with. He’ll help you.” Steve drives his piece of shit Oldsmobile like it’s a brand new Trans Am.
Steve’s physique and looks are far from that of a college student. One night he told me he still lives with his mom and hopes to make it out on his own one day, and that he’s currently working a side job to make extra cash. He may not be the knight in shining armor on a white horse to save the day, but he’s fit the bill for me.
“Thanks again, Steve.”
“I told you I’d always help you.”
Steve pulls up in the front of a run-down house with missing shingles and a broken picket fence.
“Are we here?” I ask, peering at the shamble of a house.
“Yeah, my uncle works a lot and doesn’t have time to keep up.”
Well, he could at least trim the grass, I think to myself, but when my gaze falls upon the broken windows, I begin to squirm in my seat.
“Steve.” I look back over to him sitting in the driver’s seat, and for the first time I see those eyes again. The dark ones that attacked me that night. He places his hand on my shoulder, and the whole violent attack plays out in slow motion in my mind. Several times I will myself to stop, knowing very well it’s just my mind playing yet another nasty trick on me.
The sound of a door shutting grabs my attention, and when I look forward, Stephie is standing in front of the car.
“Fuck.” Steve pounds the steering wheel. “She’s fucking early.”
The next thing I know, he’s out of the car and rounding the hood on her. Her belly is the only thing I notice, and it was a lie because she has no belly. It’s flat, and she’s in the best shape of her life. I try like hell to count back the months, but everything is a blur since Tuck turned his back on me. I can’t hear them, but one thing is glaringly obvious. They’re in a whisper-screaming match.
I focus in on Steve’s body movements, and it’s as if I’ve never seen him before. It’s clear that he’s my attacker. Vomit flows onto the floor all over my shoes, and then I begin to scramble for the door handle. My foot catches on the floorboard while the rest of my body tumbles out on the ground.
I begin to run, but a heavy hand lands on my shoulder and knocks me to the ground. It’s the moment I’ve prayed for the last few months. My attacker has finally made his reappearance in my world and come to finish the job. Now all I want is one final glimpse of Tuck’s beautiful face and to take back my nasty last words to the only man I’ve ever loved.