Remo stepped back and the Master of Sinanju pressed his hand against the tree. It snapped with a thunderous sound.
"Timberrr!" Remo shouted. He was grinning. It was the grin of a happy idiot, Robin thought. The show-off. Then her eyes flicked from Remo's too-wide grin to the space where the tree no longer stood.
Standing there, its feet sunk into the stump like some kind of life-sized Oscar statuette, was the thing.
"There it is!" Robin screeched. "There's the bastard!"
Remo's grin vanished. He turned.
And he saw it too. Tall as a man, a fuzzy glowing white and covered with moving streams of golden light. Its face was a bubble that collapsed and expanded even as they focused on it.
Then, carefully, silently, the thing stepped out from the stump and stalked away.
Chiun reacted first. He leaped for it, one foot extended in an attack thrust.
Remo saw the impossible. His skirts flaring, the Master of Sinanju was descending in a Heron Drop maneuver. He was going to take the thing's head right off. But when his foot seemed about to make contact, the thing continued running, oblivious of Chiun's lightning kick.
Chiun hit the ground in a ball. He snapped to his feet, his cheeks puffed out in fury.
Remo flashed past him. Chiun, racing, caught up with Remo.
"He is mine," Chiun hissed explosively.
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"You missed. How could you miss?" Remo demanded. "You never miss."
"I did not miss. My foot touched him. But there was no substance to receive the biow."
"Yeah? Watch this," Remo said. He pulled out in front of Chiun. He was gaining ground on the thing, who might not leave footprints in loose dirt, but was no sprinter. It clumped along like it had flat feet.
Remo recognized the battery on its back. White cables led from it to the creature's shoulders. As Remo gained ground, the thing turned its head to see its pursuers, and Remo saw again that weird bubble of a face, soundlessly expanding and contracting like a bladder.
The white thing tried to zigzag. But its movements, for all their eerie silence, were awkward.
Remo zipped out in front of him. The creature dodged clumsily. Remo was too quick. He wrapped his arms around its waist.
"Got him!" he shouted.
But Remo's elation was momentary. He realized he hadn't connected, and the force of his leap was carrying him through and beyond the thing. Remo recovered and tried again.
The thing weaved. Remo was quicker. He tried to swat its head. The blow kept on going. Remo felt no contact. No nothing. It was like grabbing at smoke- except smoke could be disturbed or dispelled. The creature simply kept moving.
Then the thing stopped still. It folded its arms. Tucked in the crook of one arm were two steaks wrapped in butcher paper.
Chiun caught up. He took a position on one side of it, Remo on the other.
"Care to try again?" Remo asked.
"Yes. I owe this vile thing retribution for the humiliation of my fall."
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"Good luck. I don't think you're going to accomplish much."
The Master of Sinanju circled the white thing warily, like a hunter before a sleeping beast. He feinted with a hand. The thing's featureless head flinched.
"Hah!" Chiun exulted. "This monstrosity fears harm. It can know pain. And if it knows pain, we need only find its weak points."
But when the Master of Sinanju attempted to knock the thing's feet out from under it, it simple stood there like a pillar of wan light. Chiun kicked again. He kicked a third time. All to no effect.
In frustration, the Master of Sinanju left off his careful circling. He stepped up to the thing and methodically tried to kick it in the shins, alternating left and right shins. He looked like a fussy little hen scratching at gravel.
The creature just stood there in silence, its blister face working noiselessly. Remo timed the contractions. They corresponded to a normal human respiration cycle. A tight smile warped his mouth. It was human enough to breathe, at least.
Remo tried a rear approach. He put his hands into the battery. They disappeared as if into milk. Remo kept his hands in there. He felt no sensations. Neither heat nor cold. There was no sound or discernible vibration. Only steady clods of dirt passing through the creature's form to land on Remo's Italian loafers.
Remo stepped around to the front.
"Might as well give up, Little Father," he told Chiun. "You're not going to make an impression on this guy."
"And what would you have me do?" Chiun said, still kicking up dirt.
"I don't know. But for once, let's try to figure this out calmly."
"I am calm," Chiun insisted as he tried to crush the
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thing's toes with repeated stamping motions. All that he accomplished was to shake the ground.
Remo examined the thing from the front. He saw that its entire body was enveloped in some luminous material. It seemed to shine from within. Remo looked closer. The golden traceries, he saw, were less like a web than veins. They suggested circuitry. Remo saw junctures at several spots. The hands were encased in what Remo saw were white gloves, and the feet in white boots. Remo noticed that the boots had unusually thick soles. The creature appeared to be about five-foot-five-but three inches of that was boot sole.
Then Remo noticed a rheostat on the thing's lower stomach. About where a belt buckle would be. Remo blinked. It was attached to a belt after all. A white one. For some reason, the belt's edges were indistinct, just like the outlines of the creature. It all blended in.
"Chiun, look at him closer. Do you have trouble with your eyes?"
"My eyes are perfect," Chiun snapped. But when he stared at the creature, he had to look away. He batted his hazel eyes and looked again.
"This creature is attempting to trick my eyes," Chiun said, kicking at it again.
"Hmmmm," Remo said. He put his hand over the thing's face. The. head retreated a little, but only a little. Remo passed his hands up and down before the blister, testing it. The blank face moved up and down, following Remo's gestures.
"I think it can see us."
"Of course," Chiun said testily. "It is not blind. How could it know to hide within a tree if it could not see?"
"But it doesn't have any face-that I can see," Remo added. He looked at the head more closely.
"Do not bother me with trivial details," Chiun spat. He puffed out his cheeks and blew gusty breaths at the creature, as if trying to blow out a candle. His mighty
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efforts made his face redden, but otherwise had no effect.
Remo stared. The blister was opaque. He could not see into it. He wondered what the thing thought it was doing by just standing there. Before, it had run. Was it taunting them now? Remo pretended to draw back, but on a hunch, sent his fist crashing for the face.
The creature quailed as if struck a mortal blow. But it shook its head and resumed its defiant stance.
Remo took Chiun aside.
"We can see it. But we can't touch it."
"There is no scent either."
"Look, I know it seems spooky, but I don't think it's a ghost."
"Of course it is not a ghost. Remo, do not be ridiculous. Ghosts do not look like that thing. It is electrical."
"That's my conclusion. So what do we do?"
"Let us attempt to communicate with it," Chiun said, girding his kimono skirts and marching back to the waiting creature.
"Why don't you let me try?" Remo offered. "You're pretty upset, I can tell."
"Can you speak fluent Russian?"
"You know I can't."
"Then this is my task. For I speak excellent Russian, as does this creature."
"How do you know that?"
"The word it spoke on two occasions," Chiun said. "Krahseevah. It is Russian for 'beautiful.' "