I was shocked. “That's impossible.”
“It's not impossible at all. It's an amusement, darling. It's quite common here. Quite ordinary, I should say. You aren't so innocent that you think it isn't ordinary.”
I was confused. I had never visited such a place before. Illustrious people from all over Europe came to Baden-Baden to take the waters. Some of the women were extremely beautiful. The men all seemed fabulously rich. All the guests seemed completely self-assured and at ease. Was it possible that Edward was telling the truth? But I couldn't imagine myself in Albert's arms. I resisted the idea. I told Edward it wasn't possible. I could not bear the thought of it. I could not encourage Albert's advances.
Edward insisted. He said he was certain I would find the Baron amusing. He said I ought to be flattered that a man as important as Albert had such an interest in me. He said Albert's family was one of the most distinguished in Germany. And he did want his chance with Helga. He said I ought to think of it as something that would afford him a great pleasure. He soon had me in tears. I finally agreed. I was completely wretched. Edward soothed me. He brought out a small box and asked me to open it. A necklace. A gift he'd purchased in one of the local jewelry shops. He kissed my cheek as he fastened the necklace around my throat.
The next day during a moment when we were alone together, Albert asked me if he might show me a small war museum in a nearby town. “I'm certain that you'll find it delightful. Please accept. No, I insist that you accept. Helga finds all museums completely boring and we might convince your husband to remain behind and entertain her.”
I agreed. It was all arranged by Edward, of course. The following morning the Baron and I waved goodbye to Helga and Edward at the hotel and climbed into a chauffeur-driven motor car.
The car was huge and quite luxurious. But still I felt uncomfortable beside Albert in the rear… I thought of my promise to Edward. I watched the countryside roll by as Albert talked to me about the wines that grew in the district. He seemed so remarkably certain of everything. He seemed totally secure in his understanding of everything around him. Then after a while he raised my hand and kissed it. He kissed my palm and then my wrist. “I find you totally enchanting. You've conquered me. I offer you my complete devotion.” He leaned against me and kissed my cheek. I resisted the impulse to push him away. I thought of my promise to Edward. Soon the Baron's mouth was upon my lips. He kissed me fervently. I was annoyed by the taste of tobacco. Edward never kissed me after he smoked. It was still morning, but the Baron had evidently smoked at least one cigar. I was more wretched than ever. I was a prisoner in a huge motor car with a man I found repulsive.
The kissing continued and soon Albert moved one of his hands to my breasts. He fondled me, murmuring as he kissed my lips. Then he dropped his hand and stroked my thighs. He pulled at my gown to lift it. No, I did not want it. I refused. Not in the car. I begged him not to force himself upon me in the motor car. The chauffeur seemed oblivious, but he had to be aware of what when on behind him. Albert was amused. He said I shouldn't imagine the chauffeur was anything but a servant.
“Pretend he doesn't exist.”
“That's impossible.”
But he pressed his kisses upon me again and I yielded to his mouth. Once more he pulled at my gown. He lifted it to expose my knees. He fondled my knees and then my thighs. He said the skin of my thighs was like the finest ivory. His kisses were so hot against my lips.
Then Albert's hand moved to the front of his trousers and I quivered as I watched him undo the buttons. I was mesmerized when his organ appeared. The knob of his tool was half-uncovered, a round knob with an almost cherry color. Albert whispered in my ear that I should suck it. I stared at it. I was helpless. I watched his fingers pull at his cowl to completely expose the tip. He was amused at my hesitation. He whispered at me again as he stroked his tool with his fingers. I finally relented. I did as he wished. I lowered my head into his lap, lowered my head to take his knob between my lips. Albert made a sound of pleasure. I sucked his tool while the motor car rolled on. Now I could see nothing but the tops of the trees as we passed. Albert's knob was like a warm fruit in my mouth. The actuality of it seemed impossible, but I had the proof between my lips. Albert stroked my face. His fingers traced the stretching of my mouth by his organ. “Like Aphrodite,” he said. “You remind me of Aphrodite.”
Finally we arrived at the museum. We adjusted our clothes. The chauffeur came around to open the door. The Baron climbed out first. He took my arm as I stepped out. He smiled at me and led me up the stone steps to the small building. The square seemed deserted, empty except for the large motor car and the chauffeur now standing beside it. I turned my back on the square as I walked with Albert to the door of the museum. I had the memory of his knob in my mouth, the taste of his throbbing flesh.
We passed an hour viewing the relics of German wars. Crossbows and cuirasses and ancient muskets. A long case filled with a variety of medals. Stuffed uniforms with all the brass buttons carefully polished. I was uneasy before an exhibit of pistols used in the war of 1870. Albert was so proud of his Prussian heritage. It seemed to amuse him that I was French. He said he doubted if any French person had ever set foot inside the place. “My father led a brigade at Sedan. He was a great favorite of von Moltke. Unfortunately, I myself have had no opportunity to demonstrate my patriotism. Are you disappointed, my darling? Would you rather I had the scars of battle to show you? I have nothing but a puny dueling scar.” He traced the line of a small scar below his left cheekbone. I had not noticed it before. A thin white line. I quivered as I imagined his face cut by a foil.
“Albert, the room is so close.”
The Baron chuckled as he led me away. “You're much too pretty for this place. You must forgive me.”
I was happy that inside the museum the Baron behaved correctly. I was thankful for it. I could pretend that nothing had happened in the motor car. I could pretend that I'd made no promises to Edward about the Baron. I was grateful that Albert did not take advantage of our previous intimacy. The rooms in the museum were completely deserted. We found ourselves alone in a hall with a dozen suits of armor. The Baron talked about the history of his family. I could understand little of it. I was too frightened by the empty armor. I sighed with relief as we finally walked out of the museum and into the sunlight again.
After the museum, we had lunch at a nearby inn. Three servant girls with white aprons hovered over us. We drank a sweet wine and smiled at each other over the plates of fish and fruit. Albert did his utmost to be charming. I drank more and more of the wine. I hoped to be at ease and I hoped the wine would allow it. The day was so pleasant. After lunch we had our coffee in a small garden. The sky overhead was the clearest blue. I refused to think about the intimacy in the motor car. I refused to think about my promise to Edward. I enjoyed the admiring stares of the people around us. I could see the wonder in their eyes. A Prussian baron and a young Parisian woman. It seemed impossible to them. The servants whispered to each other in the shadows.
Then finally the lunch was finished and Albert escorted me inside the inn again. He led me to a room on one of the upper floors. I went with him in silence. Now there was no way to forget. I was apprehensive. Albert pushed the shutters open and marveled at the view of the countryside. “One can see the Staufenberg. Come look, darling.” He pointed at the mountain in the distance. I trembled as his arm slipped around my waist. A flood of hatred suddenly welled in my chest. I repelled the memory of what had happened in the motor car. For a moment I closed my eyes. I wanted to blind myself to the room, to the presence of the Baron beside me.
Then I wondered what Edward was up to with Helga. He was with her, of course. I remembered the amusement in Edward's eyes as the Baron and I drove off from the steps of the hotel. I wondered how quickly Helga had fallen into his arms. Then I wondered what the Baron expected of me. He seemed so satisfied as he moved about the room. I remained at the window, gazing at the Staufenberg and feeling so completely miserable. I told myself I had already given myself to the Baron in the motor car. What did it matter what happened now? I had already yielded.