"Wait a minute." She held up her hand. "I can't take all this in. Where are you going to be in this grand scheme of things?"
"I'll be around," he said evasively. "At least until we make sure you're-"
"Not pregnant," she supplied crisply. "How very kind of you." She folded her arms across her chest to still their trembling. "I suppose I should be grateful for your generosity. I hope you'll forgive me if I'm not. I don't need either your kindness or your generosity. I don't need anything from you." She crossed the room and tried to pass by him on her way to the door. "Now that we understand each other I'd like to-"
He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. "We don't understand each other and you're not leaving here until we do. I've seen too much of that kind of insanity in relationships to let it happen to me." His eyes were blazing into hers. "Okay, I'm not going to stick around once I set you up at Briarcliff. Do you have any idea of how much I want you? I want to touch, fondle, enter-and not necessarily in that order, as I proved down at the pool. I told you I wasn't a boy, but I've been acting like one. How long do you think I'd be able to restrain myself from dragging you to the nearest motel every weekend if I stayed within reaching distance?" He dragged her closer and jutted his hips forward so that she could feel his bold arousal. "For Pete's sake, look at me now! I've just told you I wouldn't touch you and it wouldn't take more than a nod of your head to make me throw you down on that mattress and take up where we left off forty-five minutes ago. I want you too damn much to act the platonic friend and it's not fair to you to be anything else."
"No? It appears much fairer than the arrangement you're suggesting," she said, meeting his eyes directly. "And the only one I'm likely to accept. At least I wouldn't be a charity child nibbling at the crumbs from your table. I'd be giving you something you want for your money." Her smile was bittersweet. "Another bargain, not so unlike the first one, except that you've already sampled the merchandise."
His hands tightened on her shoulders. "Will you be quiet?" he grated out through clenched teeth. "You make yourself sound like some kind of prostitute. I'm not setting you up as my weekend mistress because you're too independent to accept help any other way."
"You're quite right you're not," she said clearly. "But only because I choose not to be. The disposition of my life is my affair and not yours." She pulled away from him. "You have it all planned down to the last detail. College, your stable lifestyle, your very helpful friends. Did it ever occur to you to consult me? I would love going to school. Learning new things is exciting and it would be heaven to be surrounded by all those lovely books." She lifted her chin proudly. "But I'm not as ignorant as you seem to think. I may not have had a formal education, but I've worked and studied just the same."
"I know that," he said gruffly. Oh, Lord, now he'd hurt her. Why wouldn't the words come out right? You're probably better informed than ninety-five percent of the college graduates I've met. But that's not all there is to the educational process. There are dances and football games and lectures and- He stopped helplessly. How could he convince her when he'd never given a damn about all that stuff himself? But maybe she would. She deserved at least the chance to sample the social side of life. It was his duty to supply that sample. Duty. Lord, he hadn't thought about responsibility and duty since he'd left Dany and Anthony two years ago. Strange, it wasn't as unpleasant as he'd thought it would be. Not when that duty involved Kate. In time he might even come to enjoy it.
She was gazing at him uncomprehendingly. Dances, football games? It was as if he were speaking a foreign language. What did those things have to do with her? She wasn't a child to be offered amusements such as those. Well, it was evident that Beau thought of her in those terms. She obviously hadn't been far off the mark when she'd described herself as a charity child. Lust may have been an element in Beau's feeling for her but pity was obviously paramount. She felt a slow burning resentment not unmixed with hurt. She could have tolerated any attitude more easily than that.
"No, thank you," she said dully, her voice as precise as a polite little girl's. "I'm sure that sort of life wouldn't appeal to me."
"How do you know until you've tried it?" he asked roughly. "There's a whole world of experiences out there just waiting for you. You're like a blank blackboard that's never been written upon."
"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this particular blackboard has been written on before. I haven't lived in a convent, you know. In some ways I may have been limited but in others I'll match you experience for experience." She was opening the door and turning to look at him over her shoulder, her eyes bright with tears. "No deal, Beau. You'll just have to find some other charity to patronize." Then she was out the door and climbing lithely down the ladder.
She heard him on the platform above her but she didn't stop at his bellowed, "Kate!"
She'd had enough to contend with for the moment, perhaps forever. She would not cry in front of him. It would only substantiate the image he had of her as being some sort of waif to be rescued from a life of crime. She was neither a victim nor an object of pity, damn it.
He was starting down the ladder after her, but she'd almost reached the ground. By the time he reached the bottom of the ladder she'd already faded into the forest.
Seven
The Cessna was safe. She hadn't really thought Despard's men would discover it. Tucked under a green-and-beige camouflage tarpaulin at the edge of the glade, it would have blended perfectly into the landscape from the air. The only way it could have been found was a ground search through the rain forest and Despard's city-bred men weren't equipped for that type of physical undertaking. Still, it was a relief to be sure. She gauged the tires to be certain they hadn't lost any air and was just straightening the tarpaulin back over the wings when she heard a cheerful voice behind her. "We both had the same idea. Is it ready to go?" She whirled to face him. "Julio! What are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you until at least late this afternoon."
He shrugged. "Consuello wanted to go into Mariba last night instead of this morning to taste the delights of the sinful city." His dark eyes twinkled. "I tried to convince her that tasting the delights of my gorgeous body would do as well but she insisted she wanted both. A very greedy senora." He moved forward to help her with the tarpaulin. "So we stayed at a hotel near the waterfront and I drifted around to a few bars and kept my ears open. I borrowed her brother's motorcycle to get here after I left Consuello back at her cottage."
"And?"
"The Searcher has been impounded. It's been docked at the pier and has a two-man guard."
"And the crew?"
"Seifert and the crew are being held under house arrest at the Black Dragon Inn." Julio's lips twisted. "Very liberal house arrest from what I hear. The authorities aren't taking any chances of offending the Lantry conglomerate even to please Despard. They've been offered both the best Jamaican rum and a few of Alvarez's most talented girls to warm their beds. The authorities are obviously trying to make their time in Castellano as painless as possible. The word is that it may be a long stay."
"Why?"
"Despard is raging like a wild bull; everyone in Mariba has heard about you destroying the coke." He shook his head. "Despard doesn't like losing money and he likes being laughed at even less. Using a little muscle to keep Seifert on ice for a while will help him save face."
Kate bit her lip. "How long?"
Julio shrugged again. "Who knows?" His big hand fell comfortingly on her shoulder. "Don't look so troubled. I told you they're giving them everything they could want or need."