I shook off Easton’s hold on me and stared up into the sky. Drops of fire began to fall like rain from the billowing gray clouds above. Somewhere in the distance screams created a staccato rhythm that rang of pain and death. I closed my eyes, unable to look at this place another second.
“I’m going to make sure he doesn’t have that choice.”
Chapter 15
Cash
The guest bedroom of Emma’s house was suffocating. Unfamiliar. The shadow demon perched on the end of the bed wasn’t helping matters. At least it wasn’t touching me. As long as it was just the one and it wasn’t making a move, I could think. The only problem was, I wasn’t sure I wanted to think.
I glanced out the window, at the starlight and steady glow of the moon filtering through the parted blinds. Vertical lines of twilight painted stripes across the green comforter. I couldn’t help but wonder where Anaya was. Heaven? Hell? I sort of felt like I was both places when I was with her. Maybe she didn’t know what I was. What happened when she found out? I let my gaze drift to the shadow demon sitting in the dark, a twisted gargoyle with holes for eyes. Its black mouth opened into what I could only guess was its version of a grin. It made me sick.
“Who did you used to be?” I said, searching for something, anything human left inside of the thing.
I twisted the comforter in my fist and glanced around the otherwise empty room. “Your friends call in sick?”
It just stared at me, unmoving.
“What do you want?” I groaned, letting my head plop back onto the pillow.
“Youuuuu,” it hissed into the dark.
I sat up on my elbows and watched it twitch and jerk beneath its oil-black skin. Hell to the no. Sleep was not happening tonight. I climbed out of bed and a breathed a sigh of relief when the thing didn’t follow. It just watched me as I closed the door and padded silently down the hall to Em’s room.
I stood outside her door for a minute. It wasn’t her old room—the one I’d grown up in that always smelled like cinnamon and flowers—but it was her. And Emma was home, despite everything else happening. And I was so homesick, I could barely breathe. I twisted the knob and slipped into the dark, shutting the door behind me. Her mom waking up and finding me in here was the last thing I needed.
“Em,” I whispered and stopped when a deeper voice cursed under his breath and the bedside lamp switched on. The room exploded with muted light. Emma sat up and pushed a mop of tousled blond hair out of her face and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
“Cash?”
“Finn?” I said, feeling my brows hike up an inch or two.
Finn stood next to the bed in his navy-blue boxers. I followed his gaze down to my black boxers.
When I looked back up, he was shoving his legs into a pair of worn-out jeans. At least I was wearing a shirt. The lack of sleep must have been getting to me because it took me a minute to react. I finally held up my hands and laughed.
“Hey, I can leave,” I said, placing my hand on the doorknob.
Emma rolled her eyes and sat back against her headboard. “It’s not like that. We weren’t—”
Finn raised a brow at her that kept the rest of the words in her mouth.
She turned eight shades of red and looked away. “We weren’t doing anything. Finn can’t sleep at—”
“Emma,” Finn cut her off. She looked up at him, surprised, and he just shook his head. Now that I looked at him, I could see the damage that lack of sleep had left behind. The bruised look under his green eyes. The lines worn into his face. So Finn wasn’t sleeping, either. I wondered what could possibly keep Death himself up at night.
Emma sighed and looked back to me, her sleepy blue eyes softening in a way I didn’t deserve. Not after the way I’d been to her lately.
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
Yes. Everything. Instead of telling her the truth I just said, “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Join the club,” Finn grumbled. He leaned over pressed a soft kiss to Emma’s mouth. I couldn’t watch it. It felt…wrong. I guess I always wanted her to find someone, but I never really thought it would happen. Emma was always so hell-bent on being alone. I still didn’t know how to feel about this. How to accept it. How to share her with someone else.
“Think I can use the bathroom without waking the warden up?” I had a feeling he didn’t really have to go, but I nodded.
“Use the one by my room so they think it’s me,” I offered.
“Just don’t get caught.” Em waved him off with a grin. “I’ll be grounded for eternity if mom finds out about our slumber parties.”
I nodded my thanks and Finn slipped out of the room.
Emma flung the right side of the covers open. “If you’re gonna wake me up and chase my boyfriend off, then you’re at least going to come talk to me,” she mumbled into her pillow. I crawled in beside her and bunched the spare pillow up under my head so I could look at her. Dr. Farber was wrong about a lot of things, but he was right about this. I had alienated one of the most important people in my life.
And I didn’t want to lose Emma. Not before I had to.
“So?” she said through a yawn.
“I’m sorry.”
Emma grinned and flipped a lock of hair off of my forehead. “I know. You couldn’t have told me that tomorrow?”
“There’s…” I swallowed. “One of those things in my room.” I closed my eyes and breathed in a scent that didn’t belong to Emma. That scent belonged to Finn. One more thing telling me that this wasn’t where I belonged anymore. But I knew that before I came in here, didn’t I? No matter what
Noah said, the only place I felt like I belonged anymore was with Anaya. She could push me away all she wanted, but when she looked in my eyes, I could see it. She felt it, too.
“Did it follow you?” Her gaze flicked to the edge of the room and I shook my head. She relaxed into her pillow. “Good. You can sleep in here if you want to.”
“No way. Your bed smells like a dude,” I said.
She laughed that sleepy laugh that reminded me of when we were kids camping out in the backyard, hopped up on marshmallows and chocolate.
“How many times have I had to endure the various god-awful perfumes left behind in your room?
Payback’s hell, isn’t it?”
She was right. She’d put up with my sleeping around for the past two years. Payback was exactly what I deserved. I didn’t have a right to be jealous of Finn, or any other guy she decided to date. Not when I’d been throwing girls in her face for as long as I could remember.
She touched the spot between my brows and frowned. “Did you drink the green shake I made for you earlier?”
“You mean the sewage you put in a glass and gave to me?” I arched a brow. She slapped my arm and I grinned. “I drank it. I won’t tell you it was delicious, because it wasn’t. It kind of tasted like ass.
But it did make me feel better,” I lied.
“It’s good for you,” she said. “And you look pale. Do you want some juice? I looked up this recipe earlier that had carrots and apples, so it might taste a little bett—”
I grabbed her hand, cutting her off, and sighed. “Em, stop. You don’t have to keep doing this. You don’t have to take care of me.”
Her bottom lip trembled and she squeezed my hand. “I don’t know what else to do. I can’t lose you, Cash.”
I hated that this was happening to us. It took her so long to get over losing her dad. She still wasn’t all the way there. What was going to happen when she lost me?
“You know what? I think I could go for some of that juice you were talking about.” I was getting too good at lying to her. “I bet it will help.” Anything to erase the hurt, helpless look in her eyes.