But it wasn’t. The cold grew more brutal by the second and a burst of pain exploded through me.
The energy simmering just beneath my skin was popping through my pores, light seeming to tear my skin to shreds. My back bowed with the force of it and I groaned. Balthazar squeezed tighter and a fire ignited, swimming through my veins. A loud ringing sound vibrated my eardrums and somewhere in the muffled background I heard Anaya scream, “Stop!”
Balthazar laughed and I dropped to my knees. Fireworks burst like bruises behind my closed eyelids and then…nothing. Everything was dark.
Chapter 34
Anaya
A light swirled behind me, pulling on me like a rip current, glinting from the silver gleam in
Balthazar’s eyes. I knew that light. I’d seen it thousands of times. But it had never been for me. Not once. I knelt down beside Cash and ran my palms over his eyelids, his lips…my palms rested against his chest and I left them there. It slowly rose with a breath, then fell flat again. I pressed my face to his heart and a faint beat thumped against my cheek. I gasped, my fingers searching and touching all the places that showed signs of life.
“Oh my God…” I looked up at Balthazar. “Is he alive?”
“Not exactly.” He waved in two angels and signaled for me to step away. They smiled with delight and wonder, and they lifted an unconscious Cash into their arms and carted him out of Balthazar’s office.
Panic ignited in my chest watching him go. I reached out, but curled my fingers back into my palm and stepped away when I saw the look Balthazar was giving me.
“Where are they taking him?”
“To a safe place,” he said. “He is regenerating. He’ll need a little time to rest.”
I clutched my hands against my stomach to calm the nervous feeling churning there. “Regenerate?”
He nodded and sank back down into his seat, nonchalantly flipping through a stack of gold papers.
“Yes. He’ll need certain abilities that you don’t have to do what I’m asking of him. Things only a soul with his power would be capable of.”
Unable to ignore it, I glanced over my shoulder at the glowing porthole of light behind me. The force of it blew my braids out in every direction. I pulled them over my shoulder to hold them there. If it wasn’t for Cash…“W-what it this?”
Balthazar slid the stack of golden papers across the desk to me with a silver-tipped pen. Light swirled and glowed around their edges.
“You have a choice.”
“What choice?” It was never a choice with Balthazar. It was always an exchange. An order. Free will didn’t exist here, and I made sure that I never forgot that.
“Heaven awaits you, Anaya.” He nodded to the swirling light behind me. “I am a man of my word.
You brought me the boy. Ensured that he was cooperative. All it will take is a few steps into that light to collect your reward. Your redemption.”
I looked down at the hemp bracelet still around my wrist and swallowed. I’d only wanted Heaven when I knew Tarik would be there. Did I still want it? Did I want to put a world of impossible between us again for everlasting peace? My mother and father were there. After so many years, did they assume I was in Hell? Were they in pain over me? This could be a chance to give them that peace.
My finger grazed over the bracelet and I closed my eyes, letting my mind fill to the point of bursting with everything Cash. Sleepy and paint-spattered in the mornings. Warm and trembling, with his mouth touching mine, his kiss promising to make me feel alive and free. He’d sacrificed his eternity for me. No questions asked. He just had that much faith in me. Not Tarik. Cash. I owed it to him to have that much faith in him.
“What are you waiting for?” Balthazar’s voice interrupted my thoughts. “This is what you’ve been working a thousand years to achieve.”
I opened my eyes, aching with memories and want, then sank down into the chair across from
Balthazar. I stared at the gold papers and pen. “What is the other option?”
Balthazar smiled, no doubt counting on this. “It’s a contract. Another thousand years of servitude.
After those thousand years, if you can find me another shadow walker, I’ll grant you and your mate the freedom you desire.”
I almost groaned. Another thousand years of collecting the dead. But Cash would be there. I couldn’t lose sight of that. And this wasn’t just about me. It was about him. A thousand years and we could both be free. We could be together. I touched the contract hesitantly.
“Another thousand years of collecting the dead,” I said. “That’s it. No tricks this time. No hidden truths?”
Balthazar leaned forward, folded his arms across the desktop, and smiled. A sunrise of color ignited under the places where his skin touched the glass. “Collecting the dead? Oh, no, Anaya. You’ll be doing something much more important than that.”
Chapter 35
Cash
The whir of the heating and air unit and the cool gust from the ceiling fan brought me back to life. I didn’t open my eyes right away. Still hovering in that place between nightmare and reality, I was sort of afraid to. I opened my hand and let my fingers explore the expanse of cotton sheets and rumpled comforter. The cotton disappeared and they slid over smooth warm skin. I stopped, praying it wasn’t a dream, and allowed my eyelids to peel open. Anaya sat on the edge of my bed, smiling down at me.
Early-morning sunlight came pouring over her in slices through the blinds. All at once everything came rushing back. The heat of the shadow land, the cold pain crackling like electricity through my body, me being…dead. I shot up, breathing hard, and patted myself down. I didn’t feel dead. I didn’t quite feel like myself but… I shoved back the sheets and peeked in my boxers.
“Thank God,” I breathed.
Anaya laughed from beside me. “Of all the things to thank God for.”
I scooted back and combed my fingers through my hair, feeling the reliably messy spikes stand right back up like they always did. “Hey, after everything that’s happened, it wouldn’t have surprised me if the little guy hadn’t made the journey. And we’re a team. We stick together.”
My gaze wandered down the length of Anaya and I couldn’t go another minute without touching her.
Yeah, I needed answers. But at the moment, she was all that mattered. I reached out and snaked my arm around her waist to pull her close, but my arm passed right through her. My brows pulled together and I reached for her knee, but my fingers swirled into smoke the instant our skin touched.
“What the hell?” Shaking, I pulled my hand up and stared at the back of my wrist. My skin had a slight shimmer to it, nothing like Anaya’s but it was there. Sort of a silvery blue embedded beneath my tan skin. “What’s going on, Anaya?”
“You are going to have to concentrate to regain corporeality,” she said. “Balthazar says it won’t take long before you’ll be able to stay solid without even thinking about it.”
I narrowed my gaze on my fingers and felt a little zing of electricity rush through to the tips. When I reached out this time, they closed over Anaya’s perfect satin skin. I didn’t move. Just stared at the way a swarm of blue sparks ignited where our skin collided.
“Son of a bitch…I really am dead.”
Anaya reached out and tipped my chin up with her fingers. “Not completely. You’re somewhere in between.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? What did he do to me?”