Fish are not dogs.
Fish don’t bark before they bite.
Fish just bite.
Fish eat.
Fish eat other fish.
Sometimes fish eat other things that these fish think are fish.
Like fingers and thumbs.
There are fish who live in this river with mouths and teeth and bites that are big enough to bite off your thumbs.
There is a man who lives in this dirty river town.
This man is a man who fishes the river.
But his name isn’t Bob.
His name is Tom.
There are some folks in town who sometimes call this Tom by Tom’s other name.
They call him Thumb.
Tom Thumb.
Thumb is not his real last name.
It is not the name that his father gave him.
The name that his father gave him is Trumbull.
Tom Trumbull.
When we in our town call out to this Tom, Tom looks up, Tom looks over, Tom raises his right hand to say, to us who are doing the calling, Hey, hello, how you doing?
There is something you should know about this Tom’s right hand.
It is missing a finger.
No, it is missing its thumb.
A fish took Tom’s thumb.
This fish bit Tom’s thumb off.
Tom stuck his thumb into this fish’s mouth.
To lift this fish up out of the river.
To take out the hook that was hooked inside this fish’s mouth.
Tom did not see, he did not realize, that this fish had teeth that you can see.
When Tom stuck his thumb into this fish’s mouth, to unhook this hook, this fish bit down hard.
When this fish bit down hard against Tom’s thumb, Tom let go of this fish.
This fish, it swam away.
Into the river.
This fish, it was a fish that got away.
This fish, it took Tom’s thumb with it in its mouth when it swam away into the river.
Tom raised up his thumb’s bloody stump.
Come back with my thumb!
You dirty rotten fish!
Tom says he actually said this.
As if this fish had ears for it to hear.
I sometimes wonder.
How do fish hear?
And this I wonder too:
What would a fish do with a thumb?
Fish don’t have hands.
Fish have fins.
Fish have lips.
Some fish have teeth.
I’ve said this.
This fish had teeth that Tom did not see.
Whenever I see Tom fishing the river, I can’t help but think of that fish that took off with Tom’s thumb.
How’s the fishing? I sometimes say to Tom.
Tom raises his right hand.
Tom doesn’t have to say anything else but this.
When Tom raises his right hand, like this, what he is saying is that he is still out on the river fishing for this fish.
Tom is like Bob.
Bob and Tom.
Tom and Bob.
Two men.
Two boats.
One river.
Two men out on the same river in two different boats.
Two men out on the same river fishing for two different fish.
The fish that bit off Tom’s thumb, this fish was a bass.
Bass are sometimes called smallmouth bass or largemouth bass.
The bass that bit off Tom’s thumb, this fish was a big-mouthed bass.
Largemouth bass have mouths that are sometimes big enough to stick a fist into these fishes’ open mouths.
Even though bass have mouths big enough to fit a fishingman’s fist inside it, bass do not have teeth.
But the big-mouthed bass that bit off Tom’s thumb and then disappeared into the river with it, this bass wasn’t like any other bass.
This bass, it had teeth on the inside of its mouth.
It bit on a bass-bait, Tom once told us.
It hit like a bass hits, Tom also explained.
But when Tom fought and brought this fish in close to his boat and when he reached down to it, when this Tom reached down with his right hand and stuck his thumb into this fish’s mouth, in order to lift this fish up and into his boat, this is when Tom noticed that this fish — this bass — it had the body of a fish that is called a pike.
A pike is a fish known for the size and for the sharpness of its teeth.
Pike have teeth that even a man born blind would be able to see.
By the time Tom noticed that this bass had teeth like a pike, that this bass actually had the body of a pike — long and thin and spotted — it was too late.
Tom had already stuck his thumb into the mouth of this fish.
Then Tom lifted this fish up out of the river, that’s when this fish bit down hard and then took off, back into the river, with Tom’s thumb dangling like a lure from its mouth.
That’s when Tom raised his right hand and called out to this fish, Come back here with my thumb!
This fish, it didn’t listen.
This fish, like Bob and his fish, Tom’s been fishing for this fish ever since.
This fish’s mother must have been a bass.
This fish’s father, it must have been a pike.
Or maybe this.
Maybe this fish’s mother was a pike and maybe this fish’s father was a bass.
It’s impossible to know for sure which was which.
Which fish was which.
One thing, though, for sure, is this:
This fish had inside its big-mouthed mouth teeth that were big, teeth that were sharp and sharp enough for this fish to bite off a thumb from the rest of the fingers.
Just ask Tom.
Once Tom tells you this story of the fish that took off his right thumb, Tom will also tell you this.
My name is Tom.
Tom Trumbull.
When this Tom tells you this, he will hold out to you his right hand for you to shake it.
Don’t be afraid.
Shake it.
Because when you do, when you take into your hand Tom’s thumbless right hand, that’s when Tom will tell you this.
It was a fish.
A fish, I say.
It was a fish, Tom will tell you.
And when Tom tells you this, Tom will raise up this hand of his right along with yours.
It was a fish that gave me this.
Tom will say, It was a fish that gave me my name.
Call me Tom, Tom will then tell you to say.
Tom Thumb Trumbull, he will say.
Or just plain old Thumb for short.
That fish that Bob is fishing for, Bob can’t say for certain what kind of a fish this fish is.
Is it a walleye?
A pike?
Is this fish of Bob’s a bigmouth bass, a fish that is sometimes called a bucketmouth?
Or maybe a catfish?
A dogfish?
A carp?
Or maybe a muskie, which is also a kind of a pike?
Or how about a steelhead?
A steelhead is a kind of a trout.
Or a sturgeon?
Sturgeons are bottomfeeders.
Like catfish are and dogfish are and carp.
Sturgeon can live to be over a hundred years old.
What if this fish that Bob is fishing for lives to outlive Bob?
What if Bob dies before Bob fishes this fish up and out of the river?
Then what?
What would we do without Bob?
When I say we I mean this: me and you and the river and the fish.
Us.
We need Bob.
We need Bob just like Bob needs to be fishing for this fish.
In the end, it doesn’t really matter what kind of a fish this fish is that Bob is fishing for.
A fish is a fish.
Is a fish.
If a fish is a fish is a fish, why is it that so many fish are called by so many different names?
Rock bass and walleye, crappie and trout.