Catfish and dogfish, white bass and carp.
Muskie, sturgeon, steelhead, pike.
Largemouth and smallmouth, suckers and browns.
Sheepshead, sunfish, bluegill, shad.
What kind of a fish is the fish that Bob is fishing for?
Only Bob knows what kind of a fish this fish is.
When Bob fishes this fish up out of the river and up into his boat, Bob will know that this fish is his.
That this fish is Bob’s fish.
Bob’s fish is — there is no other way to say this — Bob’s fish.
Bob’s fish is its own kind of a fish.
It is a bobfish.
When Bob fishes this fish up into his boat, we can add bobfish to our list of fish names.
Wait.
I almost forgot.
I forgot to mention perch.
A perch is a kind of a fish that it too belongs on our fish list of fish names.
It is, in my eyes, perch, the best eating of all of the fish that you can catch.
Trust me on this.
Batter the perch up in flour.
Fry the perch up in butter.
The littler the perch is, the better-tasting the perch.
You can never eat too much perch.
Eat perch every day.
Until you become a fish.
Bob once had a dog that Bob called Dog.
Bob never bothered to give this dog a name other than plain old Dog.
Dog.
Bob and his dog, Dog.
Why give a dog a name, was what Bob figured, when all a dog really wants is a bone.
Bob gave Dog lots of bones.
Bob did not give Dog the bones of chickens or pigs or cows.
Bob gave Dog the bones of fish.
Bob would toss these fish bones out into the river and tell Dog to go fetch.
Dog, Bob would say. Go fish.
Dog would take to that dirty river water like Dog was half-part dog and half-part fish.
Sometimes, the bones of the fish that Bob would throw out into the river, at times these bones would, from Dog, swim down the river away.
One time Dog kept on swimming after those swimming away from him fish bones and Dog never made it back to Bob’s boat.
Bob watched Dog swim away, just like a fish, and not once did Bob make a sound with his mouth for Dog to come swimming back.
Bob knew that Dog knew what Dog wanted.
Dog kept going.
Dog kept on after those bones.
Bob is like Dog.
Like Dog, Bob keeps on going.
Bob keeps on fishing for his fish.
I sometimes wonder how far will Bob go.
Will Bob do like Dog did that day?
Will Bob, one night, go out fishing for his fish and then, from the river, not come fishing back?
It’s not that Bob wants to see this fish of his that he is fishing for dead.
It’s not, for Bob, about Bob killing this fish.
What Bob wants, what keeps Bob fishing for this fish, is for Bob to see this fish alive.
What Bob wants is to feel the life of this fish, the fight of this fish, tugging on the end of his line.
To feel the pull of this fish.
To feel the pull of this fish pulling at Bob like this fish is trying to pull Bob home.
Down to the bottom of this river.
To fish this fish out of the river and then up onto the bottom of Bob’s boat.
To lift this fish up with his fingers by the blood-red gills of this fish.
To hold this fish up for all of us fishing on the river to see.
To look this fish square in its fish eye.
This would be, for Bob, more than what Bob would ever want.
It’s the feel of the fish that Bob most wants from this fish.
To feel, with Bob’s hands, with his fish heart, that the fish is there, that this fish is a fish that is.
It is hard for Bob to sit on his boat and for Bob to not be fishing.
Which is why when you see Bob out on the river sitting in his boat, you can be sure that Bob is not just there in his boat sitting.
What Bob is doing is, Bob is fishing in his boat.
Bob is sitting in his boat, Bob is drifting down the river, Bob is fishing for his fish.
The river that is the river at night.
At night, the river, it is not the river that is the river that is there when it is day.
During the day, when the sunlight is lighting upon it, out on the river, there are boats out on the river that are boats other than the boat that is Bob’s.
These other boats are boats other than the boat that is Bob.
At night, the river is Bob’s.
At night, the river is Bob.
That is the difference.
That is why the river at night is not the same as the river that is the river by day.
The sky with the sun in it is not the same as the sky with the moon and the stars.
The day river is not the same as the night river.
The night river is Bob’s.
The fish that Bob is fishing for, Bob believes that this fish, it is a night fish.
It is a star fish.
It is a moon fish.
Like Bob, by day, this fish sleeps.
This fish, like Bob, by day, this fish is a fish that does not like to fish.
Sometimes, Bob likes to think of this fish as a brother.
If this fish that Bob is fishing for, if this fish is Bob’s brother, I can’t help but think this:
My uncle is a fish.
Call him Uncle.
Uncle Fish.
Or the uncle that isn’t really an uncle.
This uncle, though, that is a fish.
This fish that is a brother to Bob.
A brother to Bob who is a father who does not know he is a father.
Father, I want to say to Bob.
Who am I to say that this fish isn’t really an uncle?
Uncle, I want to say to this fish.
I want to take this fish by the fin.
I want to stand this fish face to face with my father.
Stand this fish face to face with Bob.
I want to say, to this fish, This is your brother.
This is Bob.
It’s been too long, I want to say.
I want to know too what Bob will do when he stands face to face, facing off with this fish.
What will Bob say?
Will Bob say anything?
Will Bob make with his mouth a sound?
That is the question.
I hope the answer, from Bob, will be this:
This is the fish.
This is the fish.
This is the fish.
But what if this fish isn’t the fish that Bob has been fishing for?
You know the answer to this.
Bob will keep fishing for that fish.
In a boat, on a river, lived a man.
How long has it been?
How long, that is, has Bob been fishing for this fish?
It’s been.
That’s how long it’s been.
Been fishing.
Gone fishing.
Going fishing.
Be back when.
Be back whenever.
Be like Bob.
Go fish.
Fish after dark.
Fish in the dark.
Fish through the dark.
Be alive.
Be like Bob.
Be a fish.
Fish on.
Live fish.
Live to fish.
Bob lives.
In a boat.
On a river.
A man.
A fish.
Bob.
There’s only one fisherman who fishes this river who is known by the name of Bob.
That Bob is Bob.
Our Bob.
My Bob.
The Bob who is my father.
My name is Bob too.
You know this.
I’ve told you this.
But I am better known, to those who know this river, to those who fish this river, by the name Bobber.