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“No thanks, not really a tea kind of guy.”

“Ready to have a go at her highness, then?”

“Yeah, let’s do it.”

We took the elevator. Nothing was said on the way up to the third floor nor as we walked down the hall to Felicity and Fiona’s room. I noticed the hotel security Jimmy had told me would be permanently stationed outside their room was nowhere in sight.

“You cancel the security you had outside their room?” I asked.

“Combination of things calming down and a bit of the proverbial budget crunch,” he said and knocked on the door.

Fiona opened the door almost immediately and gave me the requisite shrug of her shoulders along with a smile.

“Hi, Dev, nice to see you.”

“Nice to see you,” I said, Jimmy was already walking into the room and I followed.

“Felicity?” Jimmy asked looking around.

“Actually, she’s not here, Jimmy. I thought she’d be back long before now, but it seems she’s not. She wasn’t at the team meeting or lunch. You didn’t see her downstairs, in the dining room?”

“Where the hell did she go?” Jimmy asked.

“Some sort of errand, I don’t know, she took a taxi, a bright yellow one,” she said to me.

That didn’t really narrow things down. We stood there looking at one another when suddenly the door clicked open and Felicity, aka Emma Babe, sauntered in. She ignored me, nodded at Jimmy and walked over to a chair and sat down. She picked up the remote and clicked on the television, then sat in a chair looking out the window at the dumpster, scowling. The television had some muted soap opera.

“Hi, Felicity,” I said.

She gave a dismissive nod in my general direction and then went back to staring out the window.

Jimmy smiled and extended a hand indicating the chair opposite Felicity. I was thinking maybe I should pick it up and hit her over the head with the thing. Not a bad idea. Instead I asked; “Mind if I sit down?”

“Suit yourself,” she said continuing to stare out at the navy blue dumpster in the parking lot.

I gave Jimmy a look, hoped it suggested her flame was waving close to my fuse. If he picked up on my message he didn’t let on, instead he smiled and motioned toward the chair with his chin. I sat down, took my time getting comfortable, waiting for her to stop studying the dumpster and look at me, or Jimmy or Fiona. It became apparent that wasn’t going to happen.

“Felicity, Jimmy was gracious enough to let me come over and apologize to you about the incident the other night.” I swallowed down last night’s Jameson rising up from my stomach, gritted my teeth and gripped the arms of the chair.

She continued to stare out the window.

I thought if I hit the back of her head hard enough her forehead would bounce off the window and maybe that would get her attention. Into the Valley of Death.

“I hope you understand it was not my intention to touch you, any part of you, or hurt you in any way. I was simply wishing you good luck and things sort of got out of…”

“That how you do it over here, grab me boobs and give the little cow a good squeeze for luck?”

Jimmy and Fiona exchanged glances.

“Well, I think you know I didn’t grab you, and anything that happened wasn’t intentional, on my part.”

“Must have been my imagination that had your hands on me.”

“No, it wasn’t your imagination, once you yelled at me to ‘piss off, spit on me and pushed me I pushed you back to get you away from me, that’s all, but…”

“I know, you landed me in hospital, kept me over night, they did.”

Probably looking for a brain, I thought, then felt my fuse igniting.

“Yeah, and believe me if I had it to do over again I would have just let you swear at me, spit on me and kick me, and never reacted. I don’t know what I was thinking. So I’m sorry things worked out the way they did. I wish you a speedy recovery and all the best from here on for you and the entire team,” I said, then stood up.

I left out my condolences to everyone who had to deal with this pain-in-the-ass bitch in the future, but I think my flushed face and the killer glare in my eye got the message across.

Fiona’s eyes were wide, Jimmy sat there red faced.

“Nice seeing you again. Best of luck in your upcoming bouts. Don’t worry, I can show myself out.” I said, then opened the door before I picked Emma Bitch up and tossed her out the window.

“I’m really sorry,” Fiona whispered, out in the hallway.

“Not a problem, best of luck,” I said and continued down the hallway.

“I might still press charges,” Felicity called from inside the room.

Chapter Twenty

I was contemplating humanity and the terribly complex issues life presents while drinking a Leinenkugel’s at The Spot, not my first. I was planning to download another porno when I got home and then my cell rang. It might have been a measure of my mood that I remained on the bar stool and answered, not really caring who was calling or that they might figure out I was in a bar.

“Haskell Investigations.”

“Dev? Justine.”

I really didn’t want to hear that.

“Hi Justine, how are things?”

“I just wanted to call and say thanks for going over and talking to Felicity this afternoon. It really helped.”

Helped who or what? I wondered.

“Well, I’m not sure how much it helped, but it’s done.”

“It’s just great to get a bit of a positive spin on things and everything.”

“I gotta tell you, Justine, if that was Felicity’s idea of a bit of positive spin it was an extremely tiny bit. Her name ought to be Emma Bitch, not Emma Babe.”

“Yeah, I heard there may have been a little attitude.”

“A little attitude? Try talking to a pouty thirteen-year-old on an exceptionally bad day, and that woman does fund raising? I can’t imagine she does much. She’s lucky she didn’t go out the window.”

“That bad, hunh?”

“Worse. I don’t know what Jimmy or Fiona told you, but let’s just say grace is not Emma’s strong point and leave it at that.”

“Sorry about that, I really am. We still appreciate your effort and going over there and everything. Hopefully she won’t press charges.”

“Yeah, well thanks. Look, I’ll live, but you’ve got an individual on your hands with some real issues, someone should light a fire under her ass and get her going in the right direction.”

“I’ll keep it in mind, maybe we’ll get things settled at our upcoming bout.”

“I’d pay to watch, in fact I’d pay even more to skate against her, maybe just one time around?”

“I’ll think about that and maybe pass it on, thanks anyway.”

“Appreciate the call, Spankie.”

She laughed and hung up.

Against my better judgment I remained for one more Leinenkugel’s then drove home along the back streets. I went online and wasted the next three hours searching for reports of fingers sent to people. I finished up with learning more than I ever needed regarding the cremation business. I never did get around to downloading a porn film.

I spent the next day making collection calls. Not for me, but for a client, City Student Direct. I hated the task, but it paid some bills, I made twenty percent on anything that came in. Collection calls to people who’d gotten a loan so they could take a couple of classes and maybe get ahead of the game.

I had the feeling it wasn’t working, for anyone. A single mom with three intro computer classes did not a computer programmer make. It was depressing for them to get my call and even more depressing for me to make the call.

Fortunately, most of my calls went unanswered, a few hung up, two cried and about once an hour someone agreed to send in a payment. By close to eight that evening, if everyone mailed in what they promised, I’d make about a hundred-and-thirty-seven dollars. That wasn’t going to happen, by the way, and I left the office to drown my sorrows at The Spot. I ended up closing the place and took a back route home.