As I wheeled Heidi toward the street she snorted once or twice, adjusted in a futile attempt to get more comfortable, and then seemed to settle down.
“Find some bird taking the piss and you plan to assault her later on?” A female voice came out of the dark, not at all friendly.
I jumped.
“Don’t,” she said and then jammed something hard into my ribs. “It wouldn’t bother me at all to blow what little brains you’ve got all over this walkway. You douche nozzle, I thought they had you locked up?”
“Emma, lovely performance tonight,” I said.
“Shut up ya tosser, you just keep walking ‘til we’re well away from this place.”
“What the hell are you doing back here?”
“What part of shut your gob don’t you understand?”
“Just about all of it,” I said, but the pistol she jammed into my ribs made her message clear.
“I’m walking, I’m walking,” I said, wheeling Heidi out onto Kellogg Boulevard. The event crowd had pretty much disappeared into the surrounding pubs or cars driving home. I glanced down at Emma, she was barefoot and wore what looked like a large raincoat, very large.
“Just keep walking, where’s your car?” she said, looking around nervously and then noticed my black eyes. “She do that to you? Can’t say that I blame her.
“Bad luck for you, Emma, car’s at home. We taxied down. I could get a cab, I suppose, if you can find one in St. Paul.”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, another witness, that it?”
“No, just trying to get you out of here,” I said, not adding, and away from Heidi and me.
We walked beneath a street light, I suppose we looked like any normal couple if you discounted Emma, barefoot, holding a gun to my ribs, and swimming in a raincoat large enough for the two of us. Well and then there was Heidi, strapped to the two wheeled dolly and snoring soundly.
“What’s that in your pocket, a shoe?” Emma said, indicating my side pocket.
“Yeah, my date didn’t want to wear them while she was riding on this…”
“Give them to me you fucking plonker.”
I stopped pushing Heidi, pulled the shoes out of my pocket one at a time and tossed them on the sidewalk, switching hands to keep the dolly and Heidi upright.
Emma slipped first one foot and then the other into Heidi’s shoes, rising up about six inches when she did so.
“Whoa, fucking hell,” she said taking the first step and grabbing me for a moment’s support. “Okay, just keep moving,” jamming the pistol back against my ribs for renewed emphasis.
“You know you really don’t have to do that. Not like I can really run anywhere,” I indicted Heidi with my head.
“You just keep moving,” Emma said, but a few paces later she pulled the pistol away and said, “Slow down, I can’t keep up in these things.”
I slowed down my pace and Emma walked alongside maybe a step or two behind me.
“You think of doing anything I’ll shoot your bird first, and then I’ll blow your bollocks off.”
“No thanks,” I said.
“Zip it and keep moving, gobshite,” she said.
We continued on for another block and a half until we came to the hotel.
“Well gee, can’t thank you enough for your time,” I said and headed toward the hotel door.
“What the hell are you on about?”
It was almost midnight, but there was still a guy in a green top hat with a gold hat band out on the curb. He wore a matching green coat, with wide gold trim along the lapels. The coat was cut like a tux with tails. He looked like the Mad Hatter and acted the consummate professional, didn’t even blink looking at the three of us.
“Good evening sir, joining us tonight?” he said, then opened one of the large doors and smiled.
“This is where we’re staying,” I said to Emma, hoping she’d take Heidi’s shoes and just keep going.
“In with you then,” she raised her chin to indicate the door, and followed behind me with her hand holding the pistol in the pocket of the raincoat.
“Enjoy, sir,” the doorman said with a smile.
The young woman at the front desk smiled and nodded, but didn’t react beyond that, as if wheeling a woman through the lobby on a two wheeled dolly was an every other night occurrence.
The elevator door opened before I could even push the button and I wheeled Heidi inside, Emma followed behind me.
“Don’t bother turning around, what floor is it?”
“Penthouse.”
“Posh bastard,” she said, pushing the button. The doors closed and we rose up fifteen floors toward the penthouse. A bell chimed softly just before the doors opened onto the private penthouse hallway. Emma stepped off the elevator. She kept the pistol in the pocket of the rain coat, but clearly pointed toward Heidi and me.
“Get out here, you try anything I’ll shoot her, I swear.”
Heidi gave a slight moan and snorted a little as I wheeled her off the elevator, backward.
Emma was looking left and right, the penthouse suite was the only thing on the short hallway. The doors slowly closed behind us and the elevator descended back to the main lobby.
Chapter Forty-Five
“You want to hold on here for a moment while I open the door?” I said, indicating Heidi and the dolly.
“Fuck no,” Emma snapped. She had just kicked Heidi’s shoes off against the hallway wall and was standing a few feet away from me, decidedly shorter.
I kept one hand on the dolly and fumbled with the credit card affair trying to open the penthouse suite door.
“Give me that thing, you fuckwit,” she said, indicating the card. “Wheel her back over against that far wall.” She had the pistol out of her coat pocket and waved the thing to direct me.
“Just be careful with that damn shooter,” I said.
“Then do as I tell ya, leave the card by the door, move your arse over there,” she waved the pistol again.
Once she slipped the card in it only took a half second before the locks clicked and she pushed the penthouse door open. She stepped inside and motioned again with the pistol to follow as she held the door open.
“What do you want me to do with her?” I asked, wheeling Heidi into the center room. Emma moved around to the far side of the large table, keeping it between the two of us, there was no way I could get to her. She stole quick glances around the suite taking in the opulence.
“How’s a knacker the likes of you rate this?” She waved the pistol around, indicating the suite.
I saw no point in explaining it was at city expense, due in no small part to her behind-the-scenes activity.
“Do you mind if I just put her on the bed? I’m afraid if she stays strapped to this thing much longer she might…”
“I couldn’t give a toss what you do with her, but I’m gong to watch, you try anything funny, the bird gets it first then…”
“Yeah, I remember, you’ll shoot me bollocks off, right?”
“Exactly.”
I wheeled Heidi up to the bed, it was a king-sized four-poster. The posts were some sort of dark wood, mahogany maybe and elegantly carved from top to bottom. Heavy burgundy curtains embroidered in a gold pattern were tied back against the carved posts.
I hung on to Heidi, kept her upright while I carefully unhooked the strap. Then tilted the dolly slightly, Heidi fell forward and made a sort of “uff” sound as she belly flopped onto the bed, arms limp at her side. I moved the dolly aside and lifted Heidi’s feet onto the bed, sort of swung her around as I did so to position her.
“That’s good enough for the likes of her,” Emma said. “Untie them cords,” she commanded, waiving the damn pistol around, again.
While I pulled the cords from around the bed curtains I thought of a half dozen wise ass comment I could make. The little voice in my head said, ‘don’t, just shut up, you idiot’. Oddly, this time I listened.
Heidi had sort of crawled into a half fetal position, face forward, head and shoulders on the bed, ass up in the air, skirt gathered somewhere above her waist. She was unconsciously smacking her lips. Under any other circumstances I would have enjoyed myself.