He felt it in his stomach, a palpable presence, spreading to his chest like a huge and growing, living vacuum, an expanding emptiness within that cried out to be filled. There was only one way to fill the emptiness, only one way to make himself whole again. Some portion of his soul resisted, briefly, but was overcome, and with a letting go that felt as if his heart were screaming with relief he gave way to the mania, let it take him and do with him what it would. As he shivered next to her, his entire being was filled with a rage to serve the mania, all except that portion of his brain which never, ever shut down, never, ever gave over control to anything. That portion of his brain watched carefully, warned him of dangers, advised about fingerprints and blood samples and semen specimens, kept an eye on the time, listened for anyone outside, protected him. The rest of him was pure Captain Luv, Captain Luvvv at his ultimate worst-or best.
Here come Captain Luvvv, he exulted to himself, struggling to keep the laugh from bubbling through his lips. He gwine operate on you, girl.
She had said something about death and he chortled deep within himself.
Now you're talking.
"There's something I have to do," he said, suddenly getting to his knees on the bed.
She thought he meant he had to leave, and her heart sank.
"Not yet," she said.
"You can help me," he said.
Inge looked at him kneeling over her, naked, enormously erect, like a god of virility. His chest was broad and hairy, his thighs thick and powerful. And his cock was still so large it looked as if it must be painful, it looked as if it would rip the condom apart. She did not understand how it could still be that way after just making love to her.
He grinned at her, amused at her astonishment.
"Not done yet," he said. "Will you help me, my sweet?"
Of course she would help him, she would do anything for him right now.
He placed her on her hands and knees on the bed and entered her from behind. She gasped and then wriggled against him. "You make me crazy," she said.
"Listen, there's a thing lions do when they mate. You know how they bite the female's neck to control them? You've probably seen cats do it too."
She turned her head, trying to see his face, not sure what he was saying.
"I want to do that while I love you," he said. His voice was soft and supplicating. "Will you let me do that?" Inge still did not completely understand.
"You vish to bite me? Of course."
"Not bite you," he said. He leaned across her back and placed his hand on her neck. "Just squeeze a little. Will you let me do that? Can I do that to you, my sweet?" He rocked his body against her as his fingers found the steady pulse of her carotid artery. His grip tightened slightly on her neck.
"Of course," she repeated. "It won't hurt, I promise. It will just feel tight, but don't struggle, don't fight, just let me do it, I need to do it, it makes me feel so good."
He increased the pressure of his fingers at the same time as he hastened his rhythm. Inge moaned and gasped aloud with each thrust. She barely noticed the fingers on her neck at first. It was only as his pace became frantic and she could hear him growling deep in his throat that the pressure began to be painful.
"It hurts," she said, trying to twist away. He held her even tighter, his fingertips pressing into her flesh.
"Please," he gasped. "Please, let me do it, just a minute more… oooohhhh… for me, I need to… ohhh… for me."
Inge felt his sexual frenzy and thrilled to it. It made her feel powerful and wanted and the discomfort was something she could bear a bit longer for his sake. He was panting louder and louder, emitting little cries with each thrust, it had to happen very soon. His grip on her neck was very tight now and she began to feel faint.
"Hold on," he panted frantically. "Almost, almost, almost…" Inge fell facedown on the bed, her body pulling away from his. Still gripping her neck, he scrambled frantically to reenter her and gave his last few convulsive thrusts into her inert body before collapsing atop her, shivering. His breath was loud and torturous for a few moments as he tried to recover from the exertion; then it turned to gasps of laughter. He lay on her for several minutes, trembling with laughter, his breath stirring the golden hair across her back. The tiny motel room, so accustomed to the noises of carnal pleasure, filled with the sounds of a madhouse.
When he came to himself again, her body had already begun to cool, taking on the eerie pallor of the dead. He released his grip from her neck at last and probed with sensitive fingers for any trace of pulse.
It was a formality.
There was a look to the dead that any layman could detect an unmistakable otherness never seen in life that was instantly recognizable.
"Luvvv, oh Luvv, oh careless Luvvv," he sang, rising finally from her body and putting on his shirt. "Luvvv, what has you done to me?"
Even the portion of his brain that never lost itself could not say if the mania still held sway, or if this was just himself who felt so buoyant, so cheerful. The great aching need was gone, vanished when she pitched forward onto the bed, her brain starved for oxygen, but this mood, this tittering, self-satisfied feeling of accomplishment still lived within the aura of the madness. It was like the taste and scent of a woman that sometimes lingered with him long after he had left her, keeping her presence a part of his life for some time afterwards. The excitement of the mania was still in the room now, confusing him as to whether the mania itself was still there, or if he was operating on his own.
"Ooohhh, Captain Luvvv gwine operate. Cap'n Luv's a cut-up. "
He flushed the condom down the drain, watching carefully to see it swirl into oblivion. He would check again later to be sure it did not float back up. It never had, but it paid to take the pains. He then dressed himself completely and stepped outside to his car. In the trunk he selected what he needed-his implement, his change of clothing, his gloves, the gray-green trash bags. Back in the motel room, he undressed and dressed again, neatly stacking his regular clothes far away from the corpse. The room was scarcely larger than the bed itself and it was a matter of only a few steps to lift lnge's body and carry it to the shower. He lifted carefully, using his legs. His back had bothered him lately and it would not do to have it go into spasm while he was dissecting a corpse in a motel room. Very hard to explain that, he thought, sniggering. Someone bound to misinterpret that. It wouldn't do to tell them that Luvvv luved Inge to death.
He turned the shower on to a slow stream, adjusted the temperature, and let it play on Inge's body while he went to the front door to check that he had locked it and put on the chain. He had, of course. It was not the sort of mistake he made. He looked in the.toilet once more, then stepped into the shower himself. This motel had free samples of shampoo encased in a styrene container-sometimes there was nothing but a bar of soap. He opened the shampoo container and started to shampoo Inge's head. Hair was amazingly retentive, all sorts of evidence could adhere to it, bodily secretions, fibers of his clothing, even his own pubic hairs. Luv scrubbed her hair thoroughly, then did the same with her genital region, where the hair was even more retentive.
The cleaning done, he sat on the floor of the shower and pulled Inge's body against him, back to front.
It was not much of a work area, he would have preferred a bathtub, but what could you expect for thirty dollars? The shower trickled down on both of them, washing Inge's fluids down the drain. Since her heart was not pumping, there was no danger of anything spurting; gravity and the shower would take care of the mess, there would be very little to clean up afterwards. He peeked through the shower curtain, checking his watch, which he had put on the linoleum floor. He had more than an hour until checkout. Plenty of time, no need to rush. He would have to come up with a new burial site now, of course, but he could think about that while he worked. Taking the cutting implement in his gloved fingers, he cradled her body to his and began to cut her into manageable pieces.