“Not past tense. I do love him.”
“He loved you, too.” She paused and then said deliberately, “Of course, he didn’t know you were a murderer.”
“Yes, he did. I killed in the military, and I never tried to hide it from him. I served my country, and he was proud of me.”
“But were you proud?”
“I served my country.”
“You didn’t answer me.”
“I don’t have to answer you. Why should I? I won’t make excuses. I don’t have to talk to you at all.”
She ignored the reply, and went on, “You might have felt like a patriot for a while but that changed, didn’t it? Your psychiatrist who first examined you after you came back from Syria said that something happened that tipped the scales and sent you off the track. What was it?”
“Why are you asking me all these questions? What do you care? That has nothing to do with what’s happening now. Do you think that we’re going to form some kind of bond? You’ll be disappointed. I can’t afford to do that.”
She nodded. “I could have formed a bond with the man who came to see me and Bonnie when she was just a baby. I felt sorry for you. I wanted to help you. All I saw in you was sorrow, not rage. What happened, Danner?”
“Shut up. I don’t need your help. I didn’t then, I don’t now. You’re the one who needs help.”
Her gaze searched his face. “Why, Danner?”
“Can’t you see? Are you stupid? You’re sitting there, with your hands tied, and you know what I am.” His gaze searched her face. “And you keep asking me questions. Why aren’t you afraid?”
“Do you want me to be afraid?”
“I want you to stop asking me questions.”
“You don’t have to answer them.” She looked down at the ropes binding her wrists in front of her. “No, I’m not afraid. But being tied does make me feel helpless. I suppose that increases your sense of power.”
“Yeah, it does.”
She smiled faintly. “I think you’re lying. I believe it makes you uneasy to see me like this.”
“Believe what you like.” He was silent a moment. “Why aren’t you afraid? I did kill Jacobs, you know.”
“I know. And you would have killed my friend, Catherine. Why?”
“Demon. The moment I saw her, I knew she was a Delilah.”
“I don’t know about Jacobs, but Catherine is no demon. I’m not sure there are demons.”
“Then you’re a fool,” he said harshly. “They’re all around us. Look away from them, and they’ll have you.” He tore his gaze away from her. “You have to fight them all the time.”
“And what would they do if they caught you?”
“They’d devour my soul,” he said simply.
“And is my Bonnie a demon?”
He stiffened. “I don’t want to talk about the little girl.”
“Father Barnabas said you’ve never spoken of her by name, that you only talk about a little girl. That little girl is Bonnie, isn’t she?”
“I won’t talk about the little girl.”
“Why not?”
“Be quiet.”
She was disturbing him. His hands were clenched on the steering wheel, and there was a flush burnishing his cheeks. The mere mention of “the little girl” had done this to him.
“I’ll be quiet for now.” She looked away from him. “But you’ll have to answer me sometime, Danner.”
“No, I won’t. I’ll shut you up.”
“By killing me?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Change the subject. “Where are you taking me, Danner?”
“To the place.”
“What place?”
“Her place.”
She inhaled sharply. Dear God, was he speaking of the place where he’d hidden Bonnie’s body? Her heart was starting to pound. After all the years of searching, was she this close? “I don’t understand. Explain. Please.”
He shook his head. “You’ll know later. She’ll tell you.”
She was so frustrated she wanted to shout at him. So damn close.
Control. Patience. She drew a steadying breath. “Okay, I’ll let it go. But I have to come back to it. I have to know everything, Danner. If I make it easy for you. If I go with you, if I don’t fight you, will you tell me what I need to know?”
He didn’t speak for a moment. “You won’t fight me?”
“No.”
“I don’t want you to fight me. I’d hurt you, and John wouldn’t like it.”
Danner’s reasoning was complex and bewildering. She was almost sure he intended to end her life. Evidently, killing her was all right, but not inflicting pain. “No, John does care about me. He would be angry if you hurt me.”
“I don’t know why it should matter to me,” he said jerkily. “It’s just a drop in the ocean. He’ll never feel the way he did about me before. But I have to do the best I can. I know it would matter to me. I’ve never wanted to cause anyone pain.” His eyes were glittering with moisture. “You make it easy for me and I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” He added hoarsely, “And I’ll promise to make … it easy for you.”
He meant her death, she realized. She had been almost sure that was to be the final act, but it still gave her a tiny shock.
“Now you’re afraid?” His gaze was narrowed on her face.
“No.” Shock, not fear. He was taking her to Bonnie. What was there to fear? One way or the other they’d be together. “I’m … eager.”
“You think you’re going to get out of it, that you’ll be able to get what you want, then get away from me.”
She didn’t answer.
“You won’t be able to do it.” He suddenly turned the wheel, and the truck was bouncing along a rutted dirt road into the forest that bordered the highway. “But I still think you’ll keep your promise. From the moment I met you I knew you were a straight shooter. I thought that John was lucky to have met you, before he went into basic training. I never had much luck with women. I got so I couldn’t trust them. But you were different. Honest…”
She was being jounced from side to side on the seat, and tree branches were striking the windshield. “Does this road lead somewhere?”
“Yes.” They suddenly came out of the trees into a small clearing. “Here.” He braked and stopped the truck. “Time to ditch the truck and start out on foot.” He jumped out of the truck and came around to the passenger seat. He jerked her out and quickly ran his hands over her body. He pulled her phone out of the pocket of her slacks. He muttered a curse. “Dammit, I should have searched you before you got in the truck.” He threw the phone on the ground and smashed it under his foot. “That damn GPS signal.”
And there went her only way of being tracked. “The curse of modern technology.” She added sarcastically, “You mustn’t blame yourself. You were in a bit of a hurry kidnapping me at the time. You were so concerned about roping me like a calf to be branded.”
“Shut up.” He turned toward a tarp canvas structure stretched between two pine trees. He grabbed a backpack and slipped it on. “We have to get out of here. They’ll be able to trace that phone.”
“Probably.” She was looking at the tarp. “This is a surprise. A home away from home. Maybe I should have expected it. Father Barnabas mentioned that you lived off the land on occasion. Why, Danner?”
“It keeps me away from the demons. There are animals here, but the demons don’t take over their souls. I’m safe here.” He picked up a Magnum pistol and gestured to her to go ahead of him. “Stop asking questions and start out. We’ve got a long way to go.”
“But you said you’d answer my questions.” She moved forward in the direction he’d indicated. “How far, Danner?”
“It should take us maybe two days if you don’t hold me up. We have to travel through the woods and avoid the roads. It’s rough country.”
“I won’t hold you up, Danner.”
“I’m not so sure. You’re not the tough sixteen-year-old kid you were when we met all those years ago. I would have bet on her. These days, I hear you spend your life messing around with clay and stuff.”
“You evidently have kept track of me.” She glanced at him over her shoulder. “Then you must know my purpose in ‘messing around’ with that clay.”
“Yeah.” His glance shifted away from her. “Skulls. But I don’t like to think about it. You shouldn’t mess with the dead.”