The pain.
“I’m sorry. It will go away. I’ve never tried to do this kind of dream, and I’m not very good at it. I brought you in at the wrong time.”
Bonnie. Red curls shining under the light flowing into the darkness from the barred window, wearing jeans and a Bugs Bunny T-shirt. Sitting beside him in the darkness. As she had visited him all those other times during the seven years he was in prison.
And the pain was suddenly gone.
She smiled. “I told you so. The stink of this place is bothering you. I can take that away, too.”
“I thought … Oh God, I thought I was out of here.”
“And you are. I’m sorry. It won’t be for long.” Her smile faded. “I didn’t want to bring you back here, but it was the only way that I could be sure of reaching you. It was the only strong familiar time we shared. I had to be sure that I was here with you quickly. But this is only a dream. That time is all over. It’s only a dream.”
He drew a deep breath as the panic almost faded. “Or was that other time a dream, and is this reality?”
She smiled. “I promise you.”
Peace. Love. Bonnie.
A dream, just a dream of that nightmare place, and even the nightmare was gradually being shaded with strands of light. He could almost hear the sound of the songs she used to sing to him in this hellhole. “I thought I’d killed you, Bonnie. It wasn’t true, was it?”
“No, I tried to tell you. But you wouldn’t listen. I couldn’t get through to you.” She smiled. “All you wanted to do was jump off that cliff.”
“And you wouldn’t let me.”
“No, that’s never the way. It messes up everything.” She leaned back against the wall and looked around the cell. She whispered, “This is a terrible place. When I found you here, it made me so sad. You were so brave and strong, and they were hurting you. I wanted so to help you. I wanted you to know you weren’t alone. I wanted you to believe that someone cared about you.”
He remembered the dreams of Bonnie that had kept away the pain and made him fight to live. “You did help me.”
A brilliant smile lit her face. “I’m glad. I thought I did.” The next moment, the smile had vanished. “I’m slipping away. I have to talk quickly.”
“Slipping away?”
“I’m usually pretty good at this dream stuff, but I’m having to divide up my concentration now. I can probably only hold on for another few minutes.”
“Then why did you come?”
“I had to tell you something.” She added gently, “And you’re hurting. I had to let you know that I’ll try to help you.”
“Eve. Forget about me. Can you help Eve?”
“I’m trying to get near her. That’s why I had to use a dream to reach you. I have to use most of my effort trying to reach her. He keeps pushing me away. He’s so strong right now.”
Fear iced through him. “Will he hurt her?”
“I hope not,” she said soberly.
“Dammit, don’t you know?”
“I keep seeing Mama, then in his hand a knife.”
Gallo muttered a curse.
“That’s why I had to come to you now,” she said quietly. “I think he’ll use the knife. I think the decision to use it is what’s giving him his strength.”
“But you’re not certain.”
“And you don’t want to believe he’d do it. Neither do I. I’m scared for Mama. But Ted Danner’s not always the same. He changes. I think she’s safe now, but I don’t know for how long. When you get to Mama, you have to believe you may not be able to talk to him.” She paused. “You have to believe he’ll do it. In your heart and in your head.”
He could feel the tears sting his eyes. “Sometimes I have trouble with both. It’s … hard, Bonnie.” He tried to smile. “Hell, you’re a ghost. Isn’t there some great master plan that you can tap into and help keep her safe?”
“Oh, yes, there’s a plan. And sometimes I get glimpses of it. Sometimes I can help, and that’s wonderful.” She smiled radiantly. “But I’m only learning now. It’s not in my hands. There are so many things I don’t know yet. But I think that there are different ways that the plan can end if the soul has not crossed over. It’s possible we can change it. That’s why you have to help. You have to get to Mama. You have to help her. And I’ll help her, too.…”
She was gone.
He felt a wrenching regret and a piercing loneliness. And then the darkness of the prison and the memories it contained were gone, too.
Swirling. Vanishing.
“Gallo!”
He opened his eyes.
Catherine was looking up at him with a frown. “Your heart was going triple time. I shook you, but you didn’t stir.” She sat back on her heels. “Are you okay?”
He nodded and straightened. “I must have drifted off.”
“It was more like a tidal wave than any gentle drifting. Nightmare?”
“Sort of.” He stood up and reached down and pulled her to her feet. “It’s over now.”
“What’s over?”
The return to that ugliness of the past that had been transformed into salvation by the visits of one small girl. He wasn’t about to explain what had transpired to Catherine. She was having enough problems coming to terms with the stories and beliefs about Bonnie that were coming at her from all sides. “We have to get going.”
“I’m not arguing. But aren’t you being a bit erratic? It’s not as if you’ve been slacking. It’s been less than fifteen minutes.”
He’d thought it had been much longer. Or as if time itself had stopped.
I keep seeing Mama, then a knife in his hand.
He felt the same panic he had when Bonnie had first said those words.
“It doesn’t matter if I’m a little erratic. Live with it.” He strode into the brush. “We’ve got to get moving.”
A knife in his hand …
* * *
“HOW MUCH FARTHER?” EVE asked as she glanced behind her. “Are you ready to tell me where we’re—”
The metal of his knife was gleaming in Danner’s hand.
Eve stopped short, her breath catching in her throat. She watched him touch the edge of the blade with an almost caressing forefinger. He was looking down at the knife in total fascination, then his thumb was stroking the hilt as if it were alive. “Danner?”
He lifted his head and looked at her. His eyes were clouded, and she wasn’t sure that he recognized her.
This was not good.
What Father Barnabas had said about Danner shifting from sanity to madness in the space of a moment flew back to her. This could well be one of those moments. She had to be extremely wary.
“Why do you have the knife out?” She moistened her lips. “Do you need to cut this brush? It doesn’t seem any worse than—” He wasn’t listening to her. She had to break through the dark fog that seemed to surround him. It had caught her off guard. He had been silent for the last few hours, but he hadn’t said much since their journey had begun. She’d had no idea that such danger had been brewing. She had been focused on just getting to their destination, getting to Bonnie.