She changed the subject. “What a strange day this is. Goes from rainy to sunny and back to rainy again. God can’t get anything right.”
“He’s got a lot on his mind. It’s got to be tough being God sometimes.”
“What’s that from? I used to know it.”
“The Green Pastures. ‘Bein’ God ain’t no bed o‘ roses either.’”
She smiled but it was a sad smile.
“Hey,” I said, leaning over to look at her face. “What can I do?”
“Nothing. Go away. Jesus, I hate self-pity.”
“They’ll build you a new house, Koko.”
“What good is that if I can’t go back and live there?”
“I think you’ll be able to go back.”
“How?”
“We’ll work on it.”
She didn’t look convinced. “It’s not the house anyway, it’s what I lost inside the house.”
“I know it’s tough,” I said, and felt stupid saying it. She confirmed my stupidity with a frigid look. “You don’t know anything,” she said, carving me into a Mount Rushmore of dunces. “What do you know about my life?”
“Nothing. You’re right, I don’t know anything.”
“Take a guess. Wildest guess you can think of.”
“Jeez, Koko, I don’t know.”
“Old-maid librarian is what you’re thinking.”
“I never said that.”
“But if someone asked you, that’s what you’d think. Well, I had a husband once. We had two beautiful children. My son would be just about your age now. I was young and happy and not at all bad-looking. I had a very different life then. My husband was an engineer, I was working on a master’s degree in literature, and I played the violin well enough to try out for our symphony orchestra. We had everything then, the whole world ahead of us, and in one crazy minute a drunk driver took it all away.”
“Oh, Koko…”
“No, don’t say anything.” She turned her face to the glass and spoke to my reflection. “I’m not looking for pity. But don’t tell me you know what I lost, because you don’t know. The only pictures I had of my babies were in that house. I had film of their first steps and tape recordings of their voices. It’s like he killed them all over again.”
What can you say at a moment like that? I left her alone, but I thought of Dante and I felt a shimmering wave of real forty-karat hate. Another reason for us to meet again.
Late that afternoon I got in my rental and drove to a place I had looked up last night in the telephone book. It took me less than an hour to buy a good little gun and fire it on their range till it felt natural in my hand. I bought a snug holster for it, slipped it far back under my coat, and left hot but armed and dangerous, fully dressed for the first time in many days.
CHAPTER 32
That night I got them together for the first time. Koko tried to resist, pleading a headache, but I reserved a table at one of the classiest new restaurants in town and threatened to lay siege to her room until she came out. “Want to drive or walk?” I asked. “It’s an easy walk from here.”
“Let’s walk, then. Looks like that silly old guy, God, blew the clouds away again.”
On the way over, she said, “I’ve had the weirdest feeling. Like I’m being watched.”
I asked for specifics but she had none. “It’s just the jitters. When I went out to the store, there seemed to be a man walking along behind me, on the other side of the street.”
“Did you look at him?”
“At one point I did.”
“But you didn’t recognize him.”
“No, but I’m not sure I’d remember any of those guys anyhow. It was night and I never did get a good look at them.”
Erin was waiting in the lobby of her hotel. I had prepared her for Koko: that afternoon I had called and told her the story and she had immediately become cautious and considerate. “She sounds very fragile right now. I don’t know her but she may be on the verge of some kind of nervous breakdown. She’s been putting all her energy into this Burton hunt, and when that didn’t seem to pan out she began to unravel. Now even the hunt may be losing its appeal. Don’t ask me where my psych degree is, it’s just one of those hunches like you seem to have all the time. I think we’ll have to be careful with her, and the sooner we get this business finished with that madman in Baltimore, the better.”
I made the introductions. Erin smiled warmly and said, “Hey, Koko, heard a lot about you.” Koko said, “Hi there.” They shook hands and we were off.
The restaurant was on Exchange Street near East Bay. We walked side by side, the wide sidewalk of Broad Street accommodating all of us. They talked about the charm of Charleston and the weather, the small talk of ordinary people who live out their lives without ever being threatened by violence or murder. I watched the people passing on both sides of the street.
The restaurant was noisy and already crowded, but there was a quieter dining room off to one side. We were seated in a far corner out of the din. Koko excused herself and went to the rest room and the waiter delivered us a wine list.
“So,” I said. “What do you think?”
“I like her. And I revise my opinion. I think she’s solid.”
“She thinks she’s being followed.”
Erin dealt with that for a moment. “Maybe she is. Even if she’s not, she’s entitled to some frayed nerves.”
“Question is, do we want to talk openly about this stuff?”
“Absolutely yes would be my vote. We have some decisions to make, and she’s got a right to be part of that.” She smiled as Koko returned. “I have some news to report.”
Part of her news was about Archer, who had called with a counterproposal. “He may be willing to show me the journal. If he does, I’ll try to browse it for content. Maybe I can pin down some things you’re looking for.”
“There must be something about Charlie in it,” Koko said. “Even a mention would help.”
“I’d give a year’s pay to get Archer’s fanny in court and ask him a few tough questions.”
Erin had called Lee and told him everything. “He’s concerned about us, of course. He thinks we should all get on the first plane for
Denver and coordinate our strategy from there. That’s actually not a bad idea.“
“It’s not a great one, either,” Koko said. “It means giving up on Burton.”
“Only for now. It’s not so bad if you think of it that way. This story’s been there for more than a hundred years, it’s not going away.”
“You two could go to Denver,” I suggested. “I could stay and see what the woman at Fort Sumter has for us. Then I’d come along in a few days.”
Erin closed her eyes and made that praying motion with her hands. “What are we going to do with this man, Koko?”
“We could each carry around a two-by-four. When he tries too hard to protect us, we could just whack the hell out of him without warning.”
“You bash him on that thick forehead, I’ll get him from behind.”
“Would you two like me to leave so you can talk freely?”
“Look, sweetie. If we don’t do anything else tonight, let’s dispense with the John Wayne routine. It’s way out of date—John Wayne is dead—and it annoys me like crazy.”
“You aren’t going anywhere without us,” Koko said.
“Because if anything happens to you, I will take this Dante on alone if I have to,” Erin said. “Just think about that. I know he’s strong, but I am not without resources and I will get him.”
Koko shivered and laughed at the same time. “This is quite a girlfriend you’ve got here, Janeway.”
The waiter came and we ordered our dinners. Koko gravitated toward the vegetarian items but we were now officially living dangerously and she chose the blackened grouper. We talked over wine and made some decisions. We would stay three more days in Charleston, giving Erin another crack at Archer and us a shot at whatever the Robinsons might know. Erin would move out of the Mills House and take a room near us in the Heart of Charleston. On Wednesday we would see where we were and go from there.