He turned the hourglass upside down. Earth and sky, sky and earth. His mind was going too fast. Paúl Santos had left the seminary, but not because he rebelled or lost his faith. Because of laughter. That clandestine laughter he was unable to suppress. One day, he opened the window of his room on the top floor of the seminary, with a view of Mount Pedroso to the west, and heard laughter. Another kind of laughter. Not at all clandestine. Seemingly provoked by the sun’s tickling. And he knew he’d never resist a woman’s laughter, however much he pored over The Sheath by Archbishop Vélez. So he went to the hospital in Coruña and spoke to Mother Catherine Laboure, his protector, who was drinking hot black coffee without sugar, who was smoking Celtas in the absence of Gauloises, because Romeo had got waylaid, and who was surrounded by children, a magnet for anyone with problems, anyone who felt unloved, because of her body, some part of her body, there they all were, he as well, a grown man, first up with his problem. He had a thing for laughter. That particular kind of laughter.
‘Laughter never hurt anyone, God included.’
‘What shall I do?’
‘Leave the seminary,’ she replied. ‘Straightaway. You’re not meant to be a priest. If you kill off laughter, you’ll develop an illness in your intestine. I’ll help you find a way.’
‘OK, but what shall I do?’
In a few days, he’d gone from aspiring to be God’s emissary to feeling completely lost.
‘You wanted to fight against evil? Then fight against evil!’
She blew out a cloud of smoke, which she compensated for with a sip of steaming hot coffee. She was crazy, but Paúl Santos knew from experience she was almost always right. She was a courageous nutter in a place for taming. ‘One thing’s the Holy Spirit,’ the chaplain had remarked about her sarcastically, ‘another, the Spirit of Contradiction.’ But she didn’t care. She had two defences. Being crazy and never stopping still.
‘If I could choose,’ said Mother Laboure, ‘I’d be a detective. I’d study Law followed by Criminology. I’d fight against real crime. Yep. That’s what I’d be. And not a silly old Sister of Charity.’
She was the one who laughed when she saw Paúl’s expression. Then she added in a hoarse voice and suspenseful tone, ‘Instead of wiping noses, I’d be cleaning up the city’s sewers.’
In the training he received, there was an inevitable section on subversive warfare. Information about the enemy, working constantly at home and abroad, in hiding and in exile, was hardly scientific. They were part of evil. They were anti-Spain. You had to know what they were doing, every step, how they breathed. . but not delve into their thought too much. Know enough to apprehend them. Hate them. That was all.
But Santos’ scientific mind couldn’t stop finding obstacles. As with the laughter he heard from the seminary window, he couldn’t block his ears.
He’d now got stuck on the R of VITRIOL.
He managed to pull out the first three letters from a corner of his memory: Visita Interiorem Terrae. But couldn’t go any further. The training hadn’t been scientific, pondered Santos. The study of Freemasonry, for example, was limited in practice to knowledge of special laws, the work of the Tribunal for the Repression of Freemasonry and Communism, and to the study of articles and a book signed with a mysterious name, Jakin Boor, though he’d soon been warned this was a pseudonym of Franco, Spain’s own Caudillo. Such an open secret immunised this pile of rubbish against any doubt or observation that might be classed as a criticism. With his innate ability to rise to the occasion when confronted with a mess, Paúl Santos extracted what he thought was the leitmotif: ‘Freemasonry never rests’. Boor achieved something: Paúl Santos’ interest in these conspirators who never let up. ‘It’s the Spirit of Contradiction!’ joked a hoarse voice that could have been Catherine Laboure’s. A sort of supreme assembly of international Masons met ‘every working day in Geneva’, from where they ‘influenced the world’s affairs and dictated orders to the majority of the universe’. They directed everything from liberal governments to PEN Clubs and the League for the Rights of Man. When their teacher asked for a summary of that volume that grew in size as you read it, Santos was crazy enough to raise his hand and reply, ‘Freemasonry never rests’.
Everyone waited for him to continue, including Professor Novás, who gestured to him to expand on his thesis. Santos was known for his expositional seriousness. But something, a kind of filament, what Laboure called ‘the root of a hair’, tickled his way of thinking.
‘Yes?’ the teacher of doctrine urged him on.
‘In the words of our expert, Jakin Boor, Freemasonry never rests, Mr Novás.’
He never thought he’d have so much success in an initiation class for future policemen on account of the indefatigable Boor. In this brief intervention, Santos adopted a serious, pithy tone, in the manner of an aphorism, and a grave look. Franco was often praised for his commitment. The Caudillo ‘never rests’. To use a metaphor churned out by the propaganda machine, ‘The light in the Pardo never goes out’. Recurring in the press, at any moment, for whatever reason, like the stuff of legend, this light in Pardo Palace that never went out had become part of the Spanish landscape. Did this light exist? Santos saw a man with thick eyebrows emerging from inside Franco every night in a green bathrobe and sitting down to write tirelessly next to the famous light. He had a hole in his right slipper, through which poked a toe in the form of a claw he used to scratch his left internal malleolus, the only compensation for being awake. This man was Jakin Boor. And what Santos saw was a figure with devilish traits. Childhood images aside, he’d always found it difficult to see or imagine what the devil would be like. He wasn’t helped by his study of iconography at the seminary or by his reading of Vicente Risco’s History of the Devil. So much erudition and, if he hadn’t misunderstood, it seemed the closest thing to the devil in Risco’s eyes was a university professor in Santiago. He realised this vision of Boor as the devil in disguise was fed by his conviction that the treatise on Freemasonry grew in size at night and represented a challenge to his mental control. He had to stop thinking about outlandish things, such as Boor’s halitosis, albeit true, since they appeared clear enough in his vision and mental reconstruction of the character involved and he could see him pausing at his writing to breathe into a mirror and try to smell himself. Moments Santos could pinpoint in the text. When, for example, Boor distinguished varying degrees of perversity. He treated them as the enemy, but wrote about international Masons with all the rhetoric of a scholar, a supposed expert. When it came to Spain, however, he seemed to have to concentrate in order to crush some of the fearless insects that were about to collide with the Pardo lamp. In the case of Spain, anything that was not Catholic and absolutist was waste. ‘The scum of society’. As he chewed on these words, Paúl Santos felt something fermenting in his mouth. The Spirit of Contradiction. He didn’t know why there was a bitterness about this ‘scum’ he liked the taste of, like lemon rind. On Sundays, when they were allowed out of Charity Hospital, they’d sometimes invade the terraces of the marina, lively terraces with a view of the sea, when it was time for vermouth on the city’s ocean liner. They’d jump in when the customers stood up and the waiters still hadn’t cleared the empty table, the empty glasses, but there was the lemon rind with a hint of Cinzano. Miraculously they’d sometimes left the olive as well. Santos memorised phrases such as ‘the scum of society’, but could only repeat them by forcing a vision of Boor. Something he instinctively decided to avoid. A scientific mind was not incompatible with an awareness of evil. Boor’s presence bothered him. If he wanted to be a policeman, albeit a criminologist, a scientific policeman, he had to swear allegiance to the National Movement’s principles and declare his unconditional support for Franco. This is what he was going to do. You couldn’t play with that, he knew. But he’d reached a private scientific conclusion he felt very proud of. If Jakin Boor was a pseudonym of Franco, the unknown quantity was not who was behind the character of Franco, but who was behind Jakin Boor. It was the book’s fault. A bad book. He had to study it. Always fatter and emptier at night. An often quoted, though little read, author was Marcelino Menéndez Pelayo. One of his most famous quotes — ‘Spain, scourge of heretics’ — appeared at the front of one of their textbooks. Santos discovered one day this quote came from his History of Spanish Heterodox Thinkers. The title piqued his curiosity. The Spirit of Contradiction. It wasn’t easy to find. This deepened his interest. When he finally had it in his hands and started reading, he felt a mental upheaval that spread to the rest of his organism. Every life he read about struck him as more charming. It was a history that seemed to have come out of the Room for Secret Deliveries. A history of Spain. Of hidden, mutilated, persecuted, burnt, expelled lives. ‘And although there are not many Spanish freethinkers, we might well declare them to be the most impious lot to be found in the world’, wrote Menéndez Pelayo. And yet without wanting to, with the intention of condemning them for eternity, cutting off their heads, he’d performed a monumental paradox, a remarkable three-point turn, that of preserving the stock of freethinkers from oblivion. So there were many nights Santos’ light remained on, visited by moths. He couldn’t stop smiling when he read, ‘In this book, I’ve been pulling out thorns: it wouldn’t surprise me if, through contact with them, some of their roughness stuck to me’.