“How is she doing?”
He turned to see his grandmother coming toward him. “She’s delighted.”
“And how are you?”
He wasn’t sure how to respond to her question. He was at the pinnacle of heaven and at the same time, the lowest pit of hell. He’d never been happier, and he’d never had so much to lose. The mere thought of it was crippling.
His grandmother patted his arm. “I know that look. It’s the same heart-stopping terror I had when your father told me that you and Keris had fallen down the mountain. And the joy in my heart when I learned you had lived… You’ve no idea how happy I was to know that you made it back to us.”
Hauk frowned at her words. “I thought you hated me for it, like my mother did.”
She shook her head. “I have never hated you, Dancer. Your mother denies a truth I was well aware of. She should have placed the blame for Keris’s death where it belonged – on Dariana’s shoulders. Not yours.”
But she hadn’t. To this day, she held him totally responsible.
His grandmother touched the scar his mother had given him that peeked out from beneath the short sleeve of his shirt. “Your Sumi will still have to fight for you tomorrow.”
And they couldn’t postpone it, because of the pregnancy.
“How can I let her go into that ring, wounded?”
“You have no choice, child. If she doesn’t fight, she forfeits and you will continue to be tied to Dariana. She will birth another baby who will sneer at you and insult you. And she will force Sumi and Kalea out of your life. You know this.”
Yes, he did.
Scowling, he stamped down the bitter pain that swelled inside him. Having been with a woman who cared for him, who loved him, and having held a child who accepted him without question, how could he go back to the life he’d lived? Ever?
Strange, he’d never realized what was missing from it. Other than companionship. But what he had now was so much better than anything he’d imagined on those lonely nights.
I can’t go back.
He couldn’t bear the thought of it. Yet how could he ask Sumi to risk her life for him when he wasn’t worth it?
Dariana would never take mercy on her. She was out for blood, and all the hatred she bore him would be laid at Sumi’s feet in that ring.
Why can’t I fight in her place?
But their laws would never allow such. This was a challenge for the right to marry him. He couldn’t interfere. Yet in his heart, he belonged fully to Sumi.
He always would.
The door behind him opened to show Kalea in her swimsuit.
“Look, Daddy, look! I’m a fairy princess!”
He ground his teeth as tears choked him at the sight of the love in those silvery eyes that stared up at him like he was some mythical hero. There was no judgment or reservation. Just total admiration and devotion.
Just like Sumi.
Smiling, he picked her up. “Yes, you do, Lee-lee.” He held her toward his grandmother. “And this is your gre yaya.”
She screwed her face up into an adorable pout. “What’s a gre yaya?”
“Your great-grandmother.”
Eyes wide, she sucked her breath in excitedly. “I have a great-grandmama? Really?”
His yaya smiled. “Yes, little one. You do, indeed.” She held her hands out.
Kalea hesitated before she leaned into his grandmother’s arms and allowed her to take her. She touched his grandmother’s cheek just below her eyes. “You have weird eyes like Daddy. But different.”
“I do.”
“Are you Anduran, too?”
His grandmother laughed again. “Andarion, and yes. Yes, I am.”
“Am I Anduran?”
His grandmother tickled her belly. “You’re not just Anduran, Kalea. You’re an Anduran princess!”
“Hear that, Daddy? I’m a princess!”
“No, precious,” he teased, brushing his hand through one of her pigtails. “You are the empress of my universe, and we need to get you back to Mommy or she’ll be worried.”
Hauk allowed his grandmother to enter the bedroom first and watched as she went to sit on the bed beside Sumi so that they and Desideria and Lillya could fuss over Kalea.
He tightened his lips to suppress their trembling. Please, gods, don’t give me this only to rip it all away tomorrow. He would rather be gutted.
But in the back of his mind, he knew it couldn’t last. While others were allowed to have happy lives, he’d never been allowed to experience such joy. Something always happened to steal it away.
Just like his Endurance. Other children, normal children, ascended without issue. He’d barely survived his. And it had left him scarred and bitter.
Abandoned.
You don’t deserve happiness for what you did to my husband! I hope you live the rest of your life in utter misery! Even now, Dariana’s angry curse haunted him.
Resigned to the hell he knew would come, he just hoped that this time the tragedy would take his own life. Because if it was theirs it demanded, he would follow them into the grave.
CHAPTER 33
Dancer carried Sumi to the part of the conservatory that housed the pool. His grandmother walked beside them with Kalea in her arms. While Sumi felt a little ridiculous about needing to keep her eyes on her daughter at all times, she couldn’t help the physical pain that pierced her whenever she couldn’t see her.
But what stunned her was the number of kids who were playing here. Kiara and Nykyrian had brought their entire brood over. All four boys and both daughters.
Thia came running as soon as she saw them and hugged Sumi. Her face brightened at the sight of Kalea in her great-grandmother’s arms. “Oh my gosh! Is this the infamous Tara Kalea? You are a great beauty, aren’t you?”
Frowning, Kalea hid behind her great-grandmother’s shoulder and eyed her warily.
In total understanding, Thia smiled wider. “I’m your cousin, Thia.”
Kalea stared at her as if she couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. “I have a cousin?”
“You have lots of them.” Thia spread her arm wide to show not just her siblings, but Devyn, Terek, Lil, Cezar, and Jayne’s two daughters and son. “See all those kids?”
She nodded.
“They’re all your cousins.”
“Even Lil?” Kalea breathed.
“Even Lil.”
With a pair of round, excited eyes, she looked at Sumi. “Mommy? Can I play with my cousins?”
“Of course you can. Just stay so that I can see you and don’t get close to the doors or windows.”
Thia gave her a knowing stare. “I’ll stay with her.”
“Thank you, sweetie.”
She inclined her head before she took Kalea off to meet Thia’s brothers, who were playing with Devyn and Sway, and the rest of the Sentella clan.
Dancer set her right beside the pool and sand area where the kids were playing. It was only then that she realized how vigilant everyone was. And the fact that there were a large number of royal Andarion guards patrolling the premises.
It made her feel better to know she wasn’t the only one who was overly cautious.
Dancer pulled a chair up beside her. “Would you like something to eat?”
“Sure. Where do I go?”
“I’ll get it.” He jerked his chin toward a long buffet table that had been set with all kinds of choices. “Just let me know what you like.”
She gave him a hot once-over. “What I really want isn’t on that table.”
He blushed sweetly. “Might be messy, but I could arrange that.”
She laughed at his dry sarcasm, though a part of her wasn’t joking. She’d much rather munch on him.
With a sleeping Terek attached to his chest in a baby sling, Ture came toward her with a friendly smile. He tossed a towel over his shoulder. “I have some of everything, with a number of kids’ dishes that are Maris tested and approved.”