"I know, but it's just… I was raised to believe in certain things, that there's logic to the world. My father was a scientist and my mother his assistant. The possibility of magic flies in the face of that. The idea of men walking around with the power of a… a god, it's a foreign concept."
"I'm not a god, far from it."
"You can create fire and air from your body, what would you call it? I understand that you're a sorcerer, I really do, but it's hard to accept."
"You need to trust that I can do this," I said. "And you all need to be aware of the dangers. Sky spent time describing what both the ghouls and the barren were, and how best to deal with them. I need you to relay that information to your men."
"All-out attack," Chief Blacktail summed up.
"But be careful, these things will kill you quickly. They're not an opponent to underestimate."
"I will talk to my men," Chief Blacktail said and stood up, before leaving the building. We've purposely decided to sit next to the entrance so we could watch both the tribesmen and soldiers getting ready. I watched through the window as he walked across the yard outside, stopping occasionally to talk to his warriors.
"Some of my men are unhappy at fighting alongside Indians. No matter how dire the circumstances."
"Ask them if they'd be happier dead."
Sergeant Roberts sighed. "Distrust is hard to overcome when it's ingrained."
I looked through the window as Chief Blacktail's son walked past a group of army soldiers, snarling at them as they turned to glance his way.
"On both sides," I added.
"I'll talk to him," Sky said. "Or break his skull, depending on how he reacts to me." She made her way across the yard and slapped the Chief's son on the back of the head.
"She was concerned about you," Sergeant Roberts said, as I returned my attention to the maps on the table. "She beat the hell out of Lieutenant Brooks, broke his nose and jaw. She blamed him and Captain Waltham for your condition. And as the Captain's remains are now buried, Corporal Brooks was the only one she could explain her… displeasure to. She's quite the woman."
"Yes, she is," I said with a smile. "How are Tala and Wapi?"
"I put them together in an upstairs bedroom. Chief Blacktail took a lot of convincing to leave them here until this is over. I wanted to make sure they were uninjured before they travelled back to their tribe. It's too dangerous out there with those monsters running around."
"Thanks for your help. You might want to get some rest. Tomorrow is going to be a very long day."
Sergeant Roberts held out a hand, which I shook. "It's been an honour," he said. "If anything should happen to me tomorrow, I wanted to tell you that."
"You'll be fine," I said. "And the honour was mine. You're a good man, Sergeant, and you'll make a fine officer one day."
I stared at the map once Sergeant Roberts had left me alone, and wondered if I really believed that everything was going to go well. No, probably not. People were going to die. I just hoped I could limit how many. Hopefully, my going in alone would let any ghouls or barren see me as the weaker prey. And I'd only have to worry about myself.
"So, what's my job?" Sam asked, as he walked over to me.
"You're staying here."
"No, I'm not. I've got just as much reason to give back to that damn town. I need justice for my dad; for my friend."
"Sam, I promise you that I'll do my best to keep the sheriff alive for you. But you have to stay here. Tala and Wapi are both staying, as are all of the civilians. You need to stay here because I need people I can trust. I've already spoken to Sergeant Roberts and Chief Blacktail; they've each agreed to leave five men here to protect the fort. Your job is to help them."
"My job is to-"
"No! There are two terrified children upstairs right now. All they've known since they arrived here is fear and pain and suffering. I know you want revenge for what happened to you, to your dad, but it has to wait. If ghouls and barren turn up here with everyone gone, I need someone here that I can trust to protect these children with his life."
Sam's eyes immediately dropped to the floor. "I'm sorry," he said.
"Don't be. You're so close to getting what you've wanted for so long, that you can taste it. But I need to ask you something. Will killing the sheriff bring anyone back? Will it help with that knot of rage inside your gut?"
Sam stared at me. "I don't know."
"What matters in situations like this is doing your best to help those who can't help themselves. Those two children need someone they can trust. You're not too much older than they are, and you're not a member of the U.S. Army. They need you more than you need that rage satisfied. When this is over, if you still want to kill him…" I placed my finger-tip against his forehead. "You aim here, and you pull the trigger."
Sam nodded slowly, his eyes remaining on my fingers. "It's getting late," he said finally. "I'll check on the two upstairs and get some sleep."
"I'll see you tomorrow, Sam, but be safe, okay?"
He nodded again and ran toward the stairs, taking them two at a time until he reached the floor above.
"You're really trying to stop him from getting revenge," Sky said from behind me.
I turned around. "How long were you listening?"
"Not long after you started looking at my ass when I walked away."
I couldn't help but smile. "And a lovely ass it is, too."
"What happened upstairs," she said. "It wasn't a precursor to some sort of relationship."
"Don't worry, I never assumed otherwise. And to answer your point, I'd rather he didn't start killing people."
"You mean you'd rather he didn't turn into you?"
"He would have had to start a lot earlier to do that. He's a good kid, and not a killer. I can see it in his eyes, in his expression. Killing someone for revenge would do something to him."
"You can't know that."
"Are you saying that you think he'd be fine with it?"
Sky shook her head. "It would break him. But it's still his decision. He has to figure it out for himself or he'll always resent himself."
"When I was growing up, a sixteen-year-old killing someone would have felt normal. But now, after such a long time, I'd have hoped things would have improved. Sometimes I don't think we've moved on at all."
"That's a very melancholy attitude."
"I'm going to have to kill people tomorrow morning. I don't want Sam to feel like I do now."
"And what do you feel?"
"Nothing," I said honestly. "I feel nothing. It just has to be done. A bit like killing the wolves that want to eat a farmer's sheep. Merlin always said that I have this ability to turn into a killer-emotionless and cold, like someone turning a lamp on and off. He's right, I can. I can go to a place and kill without concern." Most of the time, I added silently.
"Then I'm glad you're on our side," Sky said. "But this is the life we lead. We kill to keep those we care about safe. We trade in our own futures to ensure that others get to have them. How many times have you taken a life to save another? How about a hundred or a thousand others? You're too hard on yourself."
"I'm just tired. It's been a long few weeks. You and your team take care tomorrow, okay?"
Sky hugged me tight. "You, too. Don't go doing anything crazy."
"You need the ghouls dead. I'll make sure that any in that town are gone before you meet the lich."
"I know you will," she said and kissed me on the cheek. "Get some sleep, Nate. Tomorrow will be a long day, too."
I watched Sky walk away and waited as the darkness of night came and the tension rose inside the camp. Sky had been positive that the lich wouldn't launch another attack so soon. That he wouldn't risk losing anyone else. But even so, there was a nagging doubt inside my head that he could do something. That doubt stayed with me as I fell asleep on the comfortable chair next to the large table.