But knowing the truth now explained so much. Like Joel's single-minded pursuit in order to stay close to her. His resisting the attraction between them because it went against that code of honor of his when their meeting had been based on a pretense. But there were other questions, important ones, that still remained unanswered.
She glanced back at Joel, who stood just a few feet away, his arms crossed over his wide chest and his expression as guarded as his attitude. Last night he'd been her rock, her anchor in a very stormy, turbulent sea of shock and confusion. Now, he looked like what she knew him to be… her protector, a man who'd promised her brother that he'd watch over her. And he was back to taking that job very seriously.
"Why didn't you tell me about Zach's debt and my part in it?" she asked.
A muscle in his cheek ticked, and he scrubbed a hand over the dark stubble on his jaw before answering. "Because I promised Zach that I wouldn't tell you the truth."
Judging by the reserved look in his eyes, she suspected there was more to that simple reply than he was letting on. "Why not?" she asked curiously. "Wouldn't it have just been easier if I knew what I was up against?"
"Hell, yeah," he said with a dry little laugh. "If you knew, last night with those thugs never would have happened. I'm sure of it."
"So why keep everything a secret?" she persisted.
He hesitated, his reluctance to reveal that part of his agreement with Zach nearly tangible. Then, he obviously decided that honesty at this point was the best option. No more lies between them. "There's two reasons, actually. First, Zach didn't want you to know what he'd done, because he was afraid this would be the final straw for you when it comes to him, considering this isn't the first time he's gotten himself into this kind of situation."
"As upset as I am about Zach's gambling addiction and what he did with my insurance policy, he's my brother and I love him. Nothing will ever change that, but it's so clear that he needs professional help."
"Yeah, he does," Joel agreed gruffly.
"And the second reason?" she asked, wanting to hear it all.
"I owed Zach for saving my life in Iraq." His eyes grew dark and shadowed, and uncompromising. "If that meant promising him I wouldn't tell you that your life was in danger while protecting you, it was a small favor to agree to, considering what he did for me."
Lora stared at Joel in shock. Her brother had saved his life? Good Lord, what had he endured in the military? What had Zach gone through, as well? A huge lump formed in her throat, and she spoke around it. "What happened?"
"Look, this conversation isn't about me," he said, pushing aside her too-personal question to redirect the discussion back to business. "It's about you and keeping you safe until Zach gets his shit together."
Lora knew it was a very real possibility that her brother wouldn't be able to come up with the fifty grand, or more, that he owed. Which meant not only her life was in danger, but Zach's as well. And that thought was enough to make her feel physically sick.
Knowing she had to do whatever she could for Zach, she stood up and approached Joel with her idea. "I have over twenty-five thousand sitting in a savings account that I've accumulated over the years. I've been putting it away so I could use it to open my own spa one day, but if that money means helping Zach get out of the trouble he's in, then I'm willing to use it for that."
Joel's brows rose incredulously. "Just a few hours ago you told me that you've bailed him out of similar situations before. And now you want to do it again?"
"He's in trouble, Joel, and he's my brother," she said, a little angry that he'd question her solution.
"You don't get it, do you?" He jammed his hands onto his hips and moved closer, so that he was in her face and being brutally honest and straight with her. "You're enabling him, Lora. Making it okay for him to go and do it again. He's got a huge problem, an addiction. Just a few minutes ago you said that he needs professional help, yet here you are, ready to bail him out again!"
She felt tears of frustration burn the backs of her eyes. Frustration and fear for Zach's life, she knew. "He can't get professional help if he's dead!"
The tension riding across Joel's broad shoulders eased, and his voice softened, too. But not his words. "Those people are still going to want the rest of the money, Lora."
"I'll take out a loan," she said, desperate for some kind of solution.
Joel shook his head sadly. "I'm not going to let you do that. You have to understand that Zach's behavior has become a vicious cycle, Lora. Unless you make him accountable for his actions somehow, instead of making it easy on him every single time he finds himself in a bind, then this gambling addiction of his will never end."
As much as it pained her, she knew deep down inside that Joel was right. It was hard to accept that truth, even more difficult to let her brother find his way out of this mess alone. "There has to be something I can do."
As if understanding her dilemma, he closed the distance between them and rubbed his hands down her flannel-covered arms, his caress as gentle and caring as the look in his eyes. "Right now the best thing you can do for yourself, and for Zach, is to keep yourself out of harm's way. That said, I don't think it's a good idea for you to return to work, at the spa or the bar, until this is over."
For her, that wasn't an option. "I don't intend to cower or hide, or keep myself cooped up for who knows how long." She lifted her jaw stubbornly, refusing to back down on the issue. "I have a life, and I have a job that means a lot to me, and there's no reason for me to take a leave of absence. Now that I know what's going on, I'm not going to do anything stupid like I did last night. Besides, didn't you promise Zach you'd protect me?"
He narrowed his gaze at her, and his arms dropped back down to his sides. "Yeah, I did, but I'm not Superman, Lora. It's difficult enough being responsible for someone without them making themselves a direct target." He paced away from her, then spun back around. "You saw what those men were capable of, and while I don't plan to let you out of my sight again, there are things that I can't anticipate, or that are out of my control, that can happen."
"I'm not a coward, Joel," she said, and meant it. "Sure, those men scared the hell out of me, but I've never run or hidden from anything in my entire life, and I'm not about to start now. If they want me bad enough, they'll find a way to get me, whether it's on the street with you, or in my apartment. I'm not changing every aspect of my life just because I'm afraid."
He studied her for a long moment, then, obviously realizing that there was nothing he could do or say to change her mind, he exhaled a long, harsh breath. "Fine."
She relaxed, grateful that that particular fight was over. "Thank you. Now that we've settled that argument, I'm going back to bed to try to get some sleep." As if. But she felt so drained and exhausted, emotionally and mentally, and crawling back under the warm covers held immense appeal.
"Lora, wait," he said when she started to leave the living room. "There's something else we need to talk about."
She faced him again, and immediately knew by the reserved look in his gaze, coupled with the gruff, direct tone of his voice, that their conversation was about to take a more personal, intimate turn. She steeled herself for what he was about to say.
He didn't disappoint her. "About last night-"
"Don't." She cut off his apology before it could leave his lips. "Don't you dare say you're sorry for what happened between us last night."
Even though she now understood why he'd resisted her overtures for so long, there wasn't anything about being with Joel that she regretted. He might have been sent to protect her, but the feelings between them were real.